KINDERGARTEN

What is a kindergarten?

A kindergarten, or kindy as a lot of us know them, is an education and care centre governed by a Kindergarten Association. They are funded in exactly the same way by Government as Early Childhood Centres, with funding dependent upon how many qualified teachers are on the staff.

Traditionally, these centres were known as Free Kindergartens (i.e. available to all pre-school children), but are now more commonly known as Community Kindergartens, which reflects the enhanced partnership role of parents, whanau and the local community.

Kindys have traditionally provided part-time, sessional care for pre-schoolers (with a morning session for older children, and an afternoon session for the youngsters), but increasingly more and more kindergartens now provide an "all day" (i.e. up to 6 hours/day) service for each child. Check with your local kindy on their service offerings.


What ages does a kindergarten cater for?

Most kindys enrol children aged between two and five years, but placement is subject to availability. A quick phone call to your local kindy will enable you to find out at what age they are accepting children.

A word of warning: kindys are usually very popular, and often operate Waiting Lists. Their popularity is related to both their relatively low cost and their high quality education. We therefore strongly recommend that you get your child added to the waiting list well before you want them to start, or you may find that your child will not be able to gain entry until they are 3.5 or 4 years old.

At kindy the children are traditionally divided into two groups:

* older children attend morning sessions five-days-a-week. These sessions generally run between 8.30am and 12pm; and
* younger children attend afternoon sessions three-days-a-week which, for the most part run between 1pm and 3.15pm

But there is increasingly an "all day"service (i.e. 6 hour session x 4 days, and 4.25 hour session x 1 day each week).

Again, these are guidelines and can vary from kindy to kindy. The best place to find out about session times is from your local kindy.

The age at which children start and the age at which they move up a group will vary from kindy to kindy. There are no legal requirements or rules that apply across the country. The only legal requirement related to age at kindy, is that your child must be enrolled and attending a primary school by the age of six years.
How does kindergarten differ from other service providers?



Kindy is different from other ECE services in several ways.

* One of the biggest differences is the fact that all kindergarten teachers must be registered teachers. This means holding a Diploma in Teaching (ECE) or similar qualification, with a minimum of three years training.
* Cost-wise there is a noticeable difference. Kindy is, for the most part, government funded and costs parents roughly $2 - $5 per morning or aftersession. The fees are compulsory, enforced by a debt collection policy, the same as all other ECE centres.
* The ratio of teachers to children differs greatly. At kindys the ratio is around 1 teacher : 15 children, whereas it sits around 1 teacher : 5 children at other services.
* Kindy caters for children from 2 years through to 5 years of age, when they begin attending primary school. (In 2009, Government will raise the earliest starting date for kindy children to 2.5 years.) Other services cater for a broader age group including toddlers and babies.
* Kindy is part-time education. This can be difficult for working parents. The majority of other services provide full-time education and care.

What will my child learn?



In New Zealand we have an early childhood curriculum called Te Whaariki. This curriculum sets out the learning experiences and goals for children before they reach school age. The overriding aim of Te Whaariki is for children:

“to grow up as competent and confident learners and communicators, healthy in mind, body and spirit, secure in their sense of belonging and in the knowledge that they make a valued contribution to society”

To help achieve this, kindergarten aims to provide environments for our children that create trust and foster their confidence. Children are encouraged to give things a go and to become active in their own learning.

Teachers plan learning programmes around the children’s interests at the time. As we all know, if our children are interested in something, they will be encouraged to participate for longer and consequently derive greater value from the experience.

There’s a lot of dramatic play and activity at kindergarten that allows the children to learn important social lessons about equal roles and equal rights for everyone.

Children are also encouraged to use language to communicate. They are taught to let others know how they are feeling and what their needs are by talking to them. The expression “Use your words” will be commonly heard – especially when encouraging youngsters not to hit or get frustrated. Your child will also be taught to stand up for themselves verbally, by learning phrases such as "Stop it, I don't like it".

The older children in the morning sessions will also learn to be “school ready”. They will become used to “mat time”, sitting quietly and listening, following the teacher’s instructions, and “playing nicely” with other children. They will also learn the basics of numbers and letters, and probably be able to write their name. They will also become familiar with books and reading, which will lay the foundations for their primary schooling.
How are kindergartens run?



Kindys are run by a committee made up of parents and people from the community. You can get involved on a day-to-day level by taking the opportunity to join the committee, or become a volunteer helper or fundraiser.

At a higher level, each kindy committee is answerable to the local kindergarten association. For example, the largest association in the country is the Auckland Kindergarten Association, which is responsible for 107 kindys in the greater Auckland region. The Associations take a strong governance and management role, and are responsible for the quality of education and financial control in each kindy.
What will it cost me?



Kindys will charge a fee at the beginning of each term. This is because government funding does not fully cover the costs of running a centre and resourcing it properly. Most kindys charge between $2 and $5 per (morning or afternoon) session per child to cover their operational costs.

Refer to the "20 Hours Free ECE" article regarding Government subsidies for parents with children aged 3 years and 4 years, and enquire about its availability at your local kindy.

Despite these additional charges, they also have to rely heavily on fund-raising undertaken by the community, committee and parent helpers, so kindy may also cost you some volunteered time.

Can my child attend kindy and another ECE at the same time?



Yes. There’s absolutely no reason why your child can’t attend kindy and daycare for example. Logistically this may be challenging in terms of pick-up and drop-off, especially if you are a working parent. But ask around, there may be other parents in the same position who are willing to share the task. Some day-cares do provide a drop off and pick-up service, but may charge extra for this.

If your child does attend daycare, making the decision to have them also attend kindy can be a difficult one due to the logistics involved. Some of the reasons parents choose this option are related to -

* cost – it may save you money to have your child attend kindy
* school-readiness – at many other ECE services the teacher/child ratio is likely to be 4-5 children to one teacher. This ratio dramatically changes at kindys where it is more likely to be 1 teacher to 15 or so children. This may better prepare your child for the primary school classroom where they must deal with less one-on-one teacher contact.

What will my child need to take?



This will depend a little on the kindy your child attends. Some kindys have shared morning and afternoon tea for which the parents contribute a healthy item of food daily or weekly. For example, you may be asked to bring a piece of fruit each day for the fruit basket.

For the most part you’ll need to prepare a backpack with the following:

* small lunch box and drink bottle
* sun hat
* sun cream
* a change of clothes, and plastic bag to hold the dirty clothes

What else do I need to know?



Some kindys require that your child be toilet trained before they attend kindy, and some kindys do not require your child to be toilet trained. Please check the requirements of your local kindy.

In addition, it’s helpful if you can send them in shoes which are easy for them to get on and off themselves (i.e. with Velcro or elastic tops). Shoes with laces become very time consuming for teachers when taking a group of children outside to play!

CHILDREN ANGRY

Here are some things to think about as you and you daughter strive to develop new skills for dealing with anger:

. Expect anger. Many of us have learned that anger is a bad emotion which good people don't have. When we operate on this premise, we tend to use denial and suppression when our inevitable angry feelings arise. Then when we can't contain it any longer, we blow up and feel out of control. If we can learn that anger exists as one in a range of healthy emotions, we can be more accepting of our own and our children's angry feelings. This allows us to be more conscious and in control of how we choose to express our anger.

. Think about where your daughter's anger is coming from. At one time or another most parents try to "take the blame" for their children's anger. When our kids start yelling at us and calling us names we go straight to the places we feel the most guilty. "Maybe, I haven't set enough limits with her." "Maybe I've set too many." "Maybe I don't even know how to set appropriate limits." Or, "I haven't been spending enough time with her." And then we tend to respond with anger at our child for "making us feel guilty." While it may be true that our kids would enjoy and benefit from more time with us, that is probably only a small part, if any, of what they are really upset about. They may be feeling frustrated with things in school: friendships, homework, whether they will get picked for a team. They may be feeling the push for independence and the best way they can think to establish it is to actively push away from us. If we can avoid "taking it personally," we may be better able to help our children sort out their complicated feelings and prevent our own anger from building up.

. Remember that anger is often a secondary emotion. Children and other people often choose anger as the vehicle to express a number of other emotions. Somehow, anger doesn't leave us feeling as vulnerable as sadness, fear, frustration, rejection, or confusion. If we treat our children's raging outbursts only as a sign of anger, we may miss many other important feelings they are trying to express. If you stay with a child who is "angry" and manage to keep your own anger from building up, you will most often discover more feelings underneath your child's anger, after the "steam has been burned off." You can even invite your child to think about other feelings she may be having as she starts to wind down. "I know you have been feeling very mad. I wonder if you have any other feelings." or "As well as looking mad, you also look sad."
This can be useful to remember for ourselves, as well as for our children. When we look under our own angry feelings, we are likely to find feelings of inadequacy, guilt, fear, sadness, frustration and confusion.

. Work to figure out what you can and can't control. When our children are in the middle of an angry outburst, often our first urge is to try to "stop" their feelings. As many of us have discovered, that is usually not possible. We still have an enormous amount of control, however, because we can control how we respond. If you can get enough perspective on your daughter's feelings that you don't end up mad yourself, you can help her through her struggle. If you do get mad yourself, you still get to control how you express your anger (and other feelings.) "I feel hurt when you call me names and say I don't care about you. I want to hear about how you are feeling. Can you tell me in another way?" "I can't let you throw breakable things when you are mad, but I do want to know how you are feeling. Let's figure out something else for you to do that is safe and still feels like a good way to express your feelings."

. Remember that you can prevent the build-up of anger, as well as learn positive ways to express it. Once we acknowledge that we do, indeed, experience feelings of anger, we can begin to recognize the build-up of our anger. If anger is a "10" we can learn to read if we are moving from a 2 to a 4 to a 6 and can do some things to express our feelings before we are at full-blown fury. "I'm feeling really frustrated by your yelling right now. I'm going to go into my room to take a break. I'll be back in 5 minutes if you want to talk to me then." "I don't want to be called those names. If you can tell me how your are feeling in a different way, I would like to stay and listen. If not, I'm going to go into the kitchen to start working on dinner. When you can talk to me without calling me names, come on in and we'll finish this conversation." You may need to remind your child of the limit (several times), but if you understand that she needs to figure out if you really mean it, you may be able to muster the patience to keep reminding her without getting furious yourself.
As well as averting your own anger in a moment of confrontation, you can also think about how to keep yourself in good emotional shape. What is it that helps you feel better about yourself and stronger as a parent? Taking time for yourself? Spending time with friends? Exercise? Movies? Gardening? Hiking? Seeing a therapist regularly? Getting a massage? The better shape you are in the easier it will be to learn positive ways to deal with your anger.

. Discuss the topic of anger with your daughter. It is very helpful to talk with your daughter about anger when you are not in the middle of a heated conflict. Tell her that you want both of you to learn better, safer, non-hurtful ways to express your anger. Brainstorm with her some different possibilities. You might come up with guidelines like, "You can raise your voice as long as you don't say hurtful things. If you accidentally say hurtful things, you can take them back and try again." You can bang on the couch cushions with the plastic bat, but no throwing things or hitting people." Only you and she will be able to come up with the best ways to safely and effectively express your feelings.

. Practice, make a plan. Once you and your daughter figure out the guidelines for anger in your family, you can practice. You could even use puppets or stuffed animals to pretend with.

. Don't be afraid to say you are sorry. Even with the best-laid plans, we may still fall into old habits. Remember that you can always apologize and think together about a better way you could have expressed what you were feeling.

. Talk to parents you admire. If you have a hard time thinking of ways to express anger positively, check in with parents or other friends you admire. Ask them if they have discovered healthy ways to deal with anger.

7 PATH YOUR CHILD'S SUCCESS: Teacher Tips

If you want your child to do well in school, there are several things that you as a parent can do to enhance his or her opportunities. Many of these are common sense items, but go often over-looked in this world of latch key children and hurry, hurry.

1. Ensure that your child is getting an adequate amount of sleep. I would venture to say that about half of my students do not get more than five or six hours of sleep each night. I currently have a student that averages only two hours per night, because he is working a full time job in addition to attending high school. At the beginning of each school term, I survey my students. Many of them work more than twenty hours each week. Of the students that do work, most of them are working only for spending money or to maintain a car, not to assist the family. If you allow your child to work, limit the number of hours each week that he or she can work to no more than 8 or 10. I recommend that a child not be allowed to work while attending high school. Save it for the summer.
2. Ensure that your child is following a proper diet. Too many times children are left to their own devices when it comes to deciding what to eat. Moms and dads often both work outside of the home, and are often too tired at the end of the day to prepare a nutritious meal. Children will go the quick and easy route. Sometimes parents go the quick and easy route. I know several students who subsist on a diet of fast food and junk food. All of us require proper nutrition for optimum health, but this is especially true of children who still have growing bodies. If you are too busy or too tired to ensure that your child is eating nutritious, balanced meals, then try round robin meals with a friend or neighbor, or ask the child to keep a food log. Also, ensure that the child is eating more than one meal a day -- lots of my students skip break- fast so they can sleep later, and skip lunch because they are only allowed a minimum amount of time to eat at school and they would rather socialize.
   
3. Know your child's teachers. As a teacher and a parent, I know that not every child will get along with every teacher, and vice versa. Be involved -- check with your child's school (the counselor or the principal is a good place to start) to see if your child can be moved to another teacher. If you know your child is a visual learner, and has an auditory teacher, then obviously your child isn't under optimum learning conditions.
4. Know your child's friends. Stay on top of who your child is friends with. Peer pressure has an amazing stronghold on most children. Invite the children to your house, allow them to stay for diner, have sleepovers, and take them with you on fun days. If your child is friends with kids who place family and academics in high priority, then chances are your child will too. If your child is hanging around with known drinkers and drug users, it is a safe bet that your child is at least experimenting with the same. Place restrictions on your child.
5. Know the parents of your child's friends. Even through high school, children look up to the adults they are around. Children often mimic the behaviors of their parents -- if Mom and/or Dad smoke, it is a good chance that the child will too.
6. Lead by example. Be the kind of adult that you want your child to be. If you want your child to be educated, ensure that you are educated -- let your child see you learning. Don't drink and smoke if you don't want your child to do so. Don't have sex outside of marriage if you expect your child to be chaste.
7. One of the best things you can do if you want your child to do well in school is read to him or her every day when they are small -- several times throughout the day if at all possible. Almost all students who enjoy reading the most are those that say they were read to lots when they were small.

You can teach your child to love reading. Make shared reading your nighttime routine -- and nap time, and any other time you desire quiet time from your children. When my own children were pre-school age, they lugged books around everywhere! They memorized several of them, and "read" to one another, to their toys, to anyone who will listen. In addition, they often "read" the pictures of the stories.

When my children, who see me reading for pleasure often, ask me why Mommy thinks reading is so important, I reply, "Smart people read."

Finally: One would think that this would be an already known fact, but it doesn't appear to be. So here goes -- if you want your child to be successful in school, and ultimately grow up and be a successful adult, one of the most basic things that a parent or guardian can do is ensure that your child is not only going to school, but is actually attending his or her classes!

In this day and age, especially when the majority of parents work (both of them), it is easy to either see your children off on the bus, or even drop them off at school, and assume that he or she is attending class. However, in some cases, once that bus or parent drives away, so does the authority that got the child to school in the first place. It is easy for the older child, once at school, to leave. It is also relatively easy for the child to have a note or backup plan when and if the school calls home or attempts to contact the parent or guardian.

Please check with your child's teacher (or teachers, as the case may be) to ensure that
your child is regularly attending class. You would be surprised at how eager most teachers are to help you child succeed -- just as you will be surprised when you get a poor progress report, only to discover that your child has not regularly been attending class!

EDUCATION TIPS : Management Conflicts

Right now the process of advocating for your child seems overwhelming. There are new relationships to build, meetings to go to, and inevitable conflicts to negotiate. And then there’s the challenge of your child’s file. Remember as you gain experience the whole process will seem less daunting. Here are a few pointers to help you develop your skills in the some crucial areas. Remember, there’s no substitute for practice, but hopefully these quick tips will help you get started on the right foot.

Building Relationships

Knowing how to deal with people can make all the difference in successfully negotiating for your child. Here are some tips on how to deal with some of the more challenging individuals you might run into as you advocate:

• The job of a gatekeeper is to keep people from bothering their superiors with unnecessary questions. Remember that they’re doing their job, even when they’re making your job much more difficult. Getting angry with them won’t help. Try to present your case to them logically and be persistent. Call as many times a you need to in order to make headway, but always be polite.
• Make sure you have yourself under control whenever you engage in a conversation with anyone at your child’s school.
• Making people feel at ease with you is an incredible skill.
• When suggesting new ideas, do not attack. Acknowledge the power and skills of the person on the other side. Suggest that your ideas might make things go smoother, but do not insist. Be firm and confident, but not overly aggressive.
• Listen to people who know what they’re talking about, but make sure you know enough yourself to be certain of the accuracy of their statements. If you don’t know if what they’ve said is true, ask for some time to research.
• Seek to maintain a business relationship with your child’s school. Don’t bring too much personal information into your relationships.
• Remember that you are an outsider to the school culture. Treat it with respect. Even if you think you know all there is to know, someone will undoubtedly surprise you.
• Many school systems feel threatened by someone who is assertive and knowledgeable. When you speak or bring up points in writing, try to keep from threatening the knowledge or credibility of any members on your child’s team.

Meetings

Meetings. They can be frustrating and terrifying. And yet, they can be the center of action for your child’s education. Learn to use them to the best of your advantage:

• Try to keep the conversation focused. Don’t allow the meeting to derail.
• Be positive. Suggest solutions. Don’t wait for someone else to come up with the next idea.
• Go to meetings with support. When both parents are present, they are more formidable and powerful opponents. If your spouse cannot be present, enlist another family member or friend to go with you.
• Suggest tape recording the meeting. Check your state’s regulations on this before suggesting it to the school.
• Treat everyone in the room, including yourself, with respect.
• Make eye contact.
• Don’t let yourself be rushed or bulldozed if you are running out of time. You can always schedule another meeting.
• Always debrief after the meeting. Write down what you remember, including key points and important resolutions. Add your own opinions. Do this immediately.
• Write a thank you. Use it not only to thank the school for their time and concern, but also as an opportunity to reiterate any open issues and key decisions.

Resolving Conflicts

Negotiating with your child’s school is not always easy. Here are a few pointers that might help you get what you want without making enemies.

• Don’t forget that in a lot of conflicts, both sides can be right.
• Keep in mind that many school systems fear the expense of special education programs.
• Try to see your requests from their side. Ask yourself how you and your child appear to the school. How can you bring both views into line?
• Always approach conflict with civility and respect for the person on the other side. Never seek to blame or find fault. Do not speak with scorn.
• Ask lots of questions so that you can understand the point of view from the other side. This will help you find solutions advantageous to both sides.
• Try to make your child seem as “real” as possible. Tell about your experiences with your child as a way to help people understand what your child really needs.
• Compromise may be the key to getting most of what you want, even if you can’t get all of what you want. (A good argument for making a plan that prioritizes what you want for your child.)
• Keep a paper trail. Even though litigation is never anyone’s first choice, being prepared for it can save you a lot of trouble later.

The FILE
The most important thing you can do in your efforts as an advocate is to keep records. And to keep them organized. Documentation is the only way you can truly know the progress your child is making and the way he is being treated by the school system. Documentation is also the only way you’ll be able to convince your child’s team of the validity of your child’s needs. When you develop your child’s file, keep the following pointers in mind:

• Keep a list of all the people who have ever seen your child for whatever reason. You can organize your list by services, for example, medical, psychological, etc. You can even be more detailed if your child has particular needs by organizing by specialty, for example, ophthalmology.
• Get a complete record of all your child’s medical files. You usually need to send a written request.
• Get a complete record of your child’s educational files. Again, you usually need to send a written request.
• Make copies. Never give your originals to anyone.
• Date all documents and file them in chronological order. This makes accessibility easy. You don’t have to remember the name of the doctor, clinic, or school.
• If you make notes (like dating) on your documents, use pencil.
• Use a three-ring notebook, so that you can easily add or access documents.
• Create a table of contents so that you know what you have.
• Add new information to your file immediately.