Saturday, September 27, 2008

FIND PROBLEMS AT SCHOOL WITH CHILD


As a parent or guardian, your child’s health and safety should be one of your top concerns. If your child is enrolled in a day care or school program and something goes wrong, you’re sure to feel upset or angry. But taking an aggressive approach can sometimes make the problem worse rather than better. With that in mind, here are five proven steps you can follow to document, report and follow-up when a problem occurs involving your child.

  1. First, get to the heart of the problem. Let your child tell you in his or her own words – but don’t rely on their explanation as the only one. Get information from teachers, classmates or even other parents. You’ll find that there are several sides to the story, and the more you know, the more fully and accurately you can approach the teacher or caretaker and voice your concerns.
  2. No one likes to be on the receiving end of a harsh criticism right from the start. Try to find something worth praising or noting in the school or person who is working with your child. Starting the conversation out on a positive note shows that not only are you concerned about your child’s well being, but that you also notice and appreciate the dedication and enthusiasm of the caregivers and teachers involved.
  3. When it comes time to share your complaint, try to keep the issue on the actual incident instead of the people involved. This helps minimize any later confrontations (between your child and another child, for example), and also helps the teacher focus on the problem and not the ones who started it. Also, don’t forget or ignore your child’s possible role in the problem. Usually when an issue arises, there are two causes – not just one.
  4. Don’t be quick to point the fingers or judge others – no matter how tempting. Rather, work with your child’s teacher or caregiver on coming up with several solutions to the problem and reaffirm your active role in your child’s education. By being a problem-solver, you’re not only showing that you’re active and involved in your child’s life, but also that you’re a responsible individual who cares about coming up with solutions rather than winning arguments.
  5. After you explain your concerns to the teacher or caretaker, follow up with them and your child to see how things have improved. If the situation hasn’t changed, take your complaint to the next person up and repeat the steps above until a resolution has been made. Being informed and involved with your child’s school shows that you’re more interested in seeing quality results than making a one-time complaint and letting the issue sit while nothing is done to correct it.


Above all, show empathy and understanding toward the person being criticized. No one likes to bear the brunt of a complaint, so try to finish up the conversation on a positive or enthusiastic note. Express your confidence in the school or day care center and show that you’re looking forward to a new beginning – one where everyone wins. Good luck!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

PREPARING FOR KINDERGAGARTEN



It’s almost that time of year when you’ll be holding your little one’s hand and leading them into that public education abyss where they will be staying for at least the next 12 years and turning into the people you hope they will be. Yes…it’s time to take your child to kindergarten. As much as you’ve prepared yourself for this day, it’s suddenly just around the corner and you’re not quite sure what to do. On the one hand, you know that this transition to another area of childhood is an important step; on the other hand, this is your baby! So how do you prepare yourself for the transition? How do you prepare your child?
Obviously there is one thing you need to do so that other things will fall into place. You must register your child for school. Some parents opt out of kindergarten because in most states, kindergarten is not mandatory. However, in this day and age, there’s a lot that a child misses out on if he or she is not enrolled in some kind of preschool program. Every state is different in the requirements for registering a child for kindergarten. In North Carolina, for example, a child has to be 5 years old by October 16. In California, children need to be 5 by December 2, and in Kansas, by September 1, in order to attend kindergarten starting in the year they turn 5 years old. In most states, children need to be immunized and a health assessment done before they can go to a public school. Once you’ve gotten the "have to’s" out of the way, now it’s time to work on the separation anxiety. In one way or another, you and/or your child will experience this. Here are 10 suggestions for working together to curb the anxiety.
  • Usually your child’s school will have lists available to parents for school supplies that will be needed throughout the year. Once you get the list, go shopping for school supplies together. Have your child pick out their own backpack or book bag. Encourage your child to find the items that they need for school. You may want to let them pick out something special that is not required that they can take to school as a reminder of their shopping day together with you.
  • Talk about school at different times through the days and weeks leading up to the beginning of school. Talk about it in an encouraging way. Tell your child happy and fun stories about your school experiences.
  • Help your child pick out a new outfit for the first day of school.
  • There may be other children in your neighborhood or your church who will be going to the same school. Get together with them and their parents for a "play day" or cookout so the kids will get to know each other a little, and so the parents can share ideas or discuss any concerns about their children starting school.
  • Go to the school with your child on a day before the start of school. Walk around the playground. Look into a couple of the windows, if they are at ground level, so your child can see what the classroom looks like.
  • Make sure you go to kindergarten orientation.
  • Help your child to meet new friends by giving them an incentive to do so. Promise your child that after they get home each day during their first week, you will award them with a quarter for each new name they can give you of children they have met that day.
  • Fix your child’s favorite dinner the night before school. Fix their favorite breakfast on the first day of school, or go out for a special breakfast that day.
  • Walk your child to the front door of the school building and let them go in by themselves. This will give them a sense of independence and will give you a chance to say your goodbyes and go back to the car. (You don’t want them to see you if you start crying!)
  • Be on time to pick up your child at the end of the school day.
Of course, being interested in your child’s day is one of the most important things you can do to ensure his or her success. When you drop your child off to go to school, do your best to think happy thoughts and not worry about your child. Keep in mind that no matter how much separation anxiety you and your child go through during the first few days of school, things will eventually even out and you and your child will be okay. One of these days your little munchkin will no longer want to hug you goodbye in front of their friends, so savor every moment you can! The most important thing to remember though, is that by laying the foundation now, you are giving your child one of the best gifts you can give—an education.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

HEALTHY PACKED LUNCH


Are you stuck for packed lunch idea? Aware that certain fats are bad but not sure how to avoid them? Well, read on because you will find lots of tips and ideas for healthy packed lunches.


As a parent, you might have gone through the anxiety of wanting to give your child health packed lunches, but also providing something that they will actually eat. After all, a child that won’t eat their packed lunch is probably just as unhealthy as one that eats a packed lunch made up of junk. It’s a huge pressure – I know all too well - but there are certain things you can do to help ease the stress of it all.

The key is in the word “balance” – making sure that your child has all the essential nutrients to help them be healthy and grow, but a little bit of naughtiness so that they don’t get hung up about food and see it as being a bad thing.

Lunchbox ideas:

Sandwiches – ideally, these should contain protein (cheese, meat or egg) plus either a vegetable or fruit - if your child won’t eat veg, adding fruit to sandwiches gives a bit of sweetness and adds to their five a day. Using relish or salad cream/mayonnaise will also make it more flavoursome. For example: cream cheese and banana, cheddar and tomato relish, chicken and thinly sliced tomato, ham and tomato, egg mayo with sultanas, chicken and grapes (try it!).

Bread – well we all know that white bread is no good. To try and wean children off white bread if they won’t eat anything else, try making sandwiches out of one slice brown and one slice white – you could even make this into a bit of fun, let them know that it’s a special sandwich for a super special child!

Fruit – children are much more likely to eat fruit if it is already chopped and in its own container or Tupperware, rather than if you give them a whole piece of fruit which can be a bit daunting. Try a mixture of grapes, blueberries, strawberries and raspberries for children that “don’t like fruit” or the more traditional mix of orange, grape and apple (squirt a little lemon over it to help stop it turning brown) for those that do.

Snacks – hummus with carrot sticks, cheese slices and tomato, nuts with dried fruit, homemade cake made with honey (instead of sugar) and banana, root vegetable crisps instead of potato ones (look in larger supermarkets).


If you involve your children in making snacks at the weekend, they may be more likely to eat them in their packed lunch. For example, making healthy muffins with blueberries, wholemeal flour and half honey/half sugar to sweeten. Or slice potatoes really finely, dowse in healthy olive oil and a pinch of sea salt and bake in a hot oven until golden brown, for perfect homemade crisps.

If you’re really at a loss and are not sure where to start, a good place to begin is by first establishing if your child prefers sweet taste or savoury taste. If children prefer sweet taste, try and encourage fruit eating, and for savoury eaters, try and encourage them to eat veggies sticks chopped matchstick thin and eaten with something tasty such as cheese.

They key is to take small steps and to not give up. You will get there, even if you are not sure how! One small step at a time.

EDUCATION SUPPLIES



While August is the popular month for saving money on education supplies, there are other places you can look to find discount school supplies and clothes. With a little creativity and planning, you will find all the education supplies your children need whether you are a parent or a teacher.


1. Let’s get sales on education supplies out of the way. If it is already August the smart thing to do is to check out the supplies for school at local drug, discount and school supply stores. National chains offer tremendous savings on school supplies this time of year. Get to the sales early and you will find what you need and save a bundle in the process. Teachers can find many classroom supplies on sale at this time as well. If you are a teacher, be sure to take advantage of tax free discounts!

2. Close out stores like Big Lots have school supplies year-round. Notebooks, pencils, rulers, lined paper and folders usually line at least one shelf. While your kids may not appreciate the choice they have in clothing, education supplies can be bought anywhere.

3. Yard sales are a great place to find some of your children’s clothing. If you go to the right neighborhoods, you can find fashionable clothes for a few bucks. It may take some looking, but it is possible to find cute jeans and tops. If your kids balk at the idea of yard sale clothes, just take their measurements and go to them yourself. If you have a bit of fashion savvy, you can get great deals without letting your children know where you got them.

4. For supplies for school, dollar stores are a great place to look. You can buy packages of pens, pencils, erasers and folders for $1 each. Be careful, though. Sometimes you can find even better deals on paper and notebooks on sale at other stores. Why pay a dollar for a notebook when you can pay fifty cents at Target?

5. Warehouse outlets carry name brand clothing at discount prices. Most children -- even teenagers don’t care about the “discount” clothes when the store sign and clothing tags have brand names written on them. Many of these places offer savings of up to 50% on clothes and shoes.

6. If you have you have children of the same gender that are a year or so apart in age, the chances are that you can get away with passing down some clothes. This only works if you make sure to get your younger children something extra which the older child won’t get -- like a brand new lunch box, backpack or purse. You can pretend they are missing out anyway. It’s deceptive, but believe me, the plan does work sometimes.

7. Search online for discount school supplies. Teachers can find fantastic prices on classroom supplies if they get a head start on shopping. Parents can find some of the education supplies their children need by going to places like Amazon and eBay. If your children need specific books for literature classes, online bookstores such as Amazon offer used books as well as new. Scientific calculators can break your budget. They are not cheap, but you can find them cheaper if you look on eBay and other auction sites. There are online school supply stores which carry all such items all year long. Often they will have sales on school supplies at the same time as the brick and mortar stores. If you can be sure the items will get to you on time, this is a great way to shop without having to brave the traffic. With the price of gas these days, the shipping costs may be worth it in terms of time and money.

Whether you are a parent or a teacher trying to find classroom supplies, you can find bargains any time of year. Give these pieces of advice some consideration and you will find everything you need in education supplies and school clothes without breaking the bank to do it.

SCHOOL SUPPLIES



It is time to buy school supplies.
The stores will be stocked up on the basics and sending out circulars with coupons and ads. Some places will have better deals than others, so it is a good idea to start comparison shopping right now. If you are overwhelmed, you should know that is common. If you have more than one child, there will likely be a difference in the school supplies you will need.


Exactly what you will need in school supplies depends on the ages of your children and the school they are attending. Many teachers are now sending out lists of needed items ahead of time so the students can be prepared on the first day instead of having to wait for a week or two before they have all they need. Waiting to shop for school supplies can cause a disruption in the students’ ability to do their assignments correctly.

If you have not received such a list, you can still do the bulk of your school supply shopping. It is easier to get everything you need if you take along a list.

Basic Back to School Supplies:

  • . Pencils - These are one of the things of which you should buy more than you think your children will need. Pencils get lost, stolen, broken and worn down. Buy twice as many as you think each of your children will need. Older children will need pens as well.
  • . Lined Paper - Depending on the age of your children, you may need the larger “learn to write” lined paper and/or notebook paper. If the price is lower than you can expect to find it later, purchase two for each child and put the extras away for later.
  • . Printer Paper - Make sure you have plenty of this in stock at home as well as in your children’s backpacks.
  • . Construction Paper - If you have very young children, construction paper is a good thing to keep on hand. Buy two pads of these for each child. Your child will likelyhave projects to do at home and this saves having to run out and buy it the night before a project is due.
  • . Crayons, colored pencils and waterproof markers - which of these you buy will depend on the age of your children.
  • . Notebooks - Buy several one subject notebooks per child (except for the 5 to 7 year olds) and at least one five subject notebook for each of your children who are in middle or high school.
  • . Erasers - Pencil toppers and big erasers.
  • . Binders - Each child will be able to use at least one binder. Many junior high and senior high schools require more than one binder. Here is where a pre-school list from teachers can come in handy! If you don’t have such a list yet, buy at least one binder for each of your children.
  • . Calculators - Basic calculators for children who are in upper elementary classes and a scientific calculator for older children. If your child is taking algebra, geometry, calculus or trigonometry, they will likely need the more expensive brands. Here is another place where starting early can be helpful. Find the best deal possible!
Another School Supply Consideration:

Make sure your family or your child’s computer is running efficiently and has the necessary memory for holding the mountains of homework your children are likely to be doing. Nearly all written essays and reports are not only researched via the internet but are written on the computer as well. Many schools are now recommending that all children have laptop computers. Be sure to ask your child’s school about how a laptop might fit into your school supply list.

School supply lists can be very complicated, but finding great deals on the basic school supplies doesn’t have to be complicated at all. If you can find a good online store that that has these items at discount prices, you may be able to buy in bulk and have everything delivered to your door! Don’t wait until school starts before getting as many school supplies as possible.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

JOKES FOR PARENT

A mother was scolding her teenage daughter for her careless hairdo. "You modern girls don't care how you look. Your hair looks worse than a mop." To which the daughter inquired innocently, "What's a mop?"

The father of four cleared the room of toys and chuckled to the minister who was visiting, "Since I've been a married, Ive learned what Paul meant by saying, "When I became a man, I put away childish things,' "

A critical neighbor was speaking of the spoiled palyboy who lived next door. "He went to college and received a B.A., but his M.A. and his P.A. still support him."

A love struck 17-year-old was begging his father to sign for his marriage license. "Don't worry about me making a living, Dad. Two can live as cheaply as one!" "I'm sure two can. Your mother and I have lived as cheaply as you for some time now."

The motto of a single mother: Look like a girl, act like a lady, think like a man, and work like a dog.

A single mother was giving her daughter piano lessons every day of the week. One day a man knocked on the door. "Who are you?" the single mom asked. "Jones, the piano tuner." "But I didn't send for you," she protested. "No, but the couple in the apartment upstairs did."

Sammy was practicing his violin lesson while the next door neighbor's hound dog howled pitifully. The neighbor took all he could and finally came over to talk to Sammy's parents. "Please, can't the boy play something the dog doesn't know?"

Two scientists were debating the possibility of life on Jupiter. "I'm sure there's no life ther," said one. "It's never been listed on my daughter's cell phone bills."

A young mother pushed her baby in a stroller while the baby wailed loudly. A child psychologist met her while walking his dog and heard her saying, "Be calm, Margie. Take it easy Margie!" "Young lady," he said, "I congratulate you on knowing how to calm babies." The he leaned over the stroller and said, "Hi Margie. You're a cute little cry baby." "No! No! the mother shrieked, "Im Margie. She's Beverly."

The brown's little baby was quiet and never spoke. The child remained that way until it was six. The one day at the table, the child said distinctly, "Pass the potatoes." Mr. Brown and his wife were flabbergasted. He said, "You've never spoken before. Why did you do it now?" "Didn't need anything until now," the kid said.

Q. What do you call an aborted fetus in Czechoslovakia? A. A canceled Czech

10 WAYS TO MAKE CHILDREN SMARTER


Scientific research shows that intelligence is both genetic and environmental. Intelligence is also not fixed but can be increased because the brain develops new neurons and interconnections with stimulation.

A supportive environment fosters numerous aspects of intelligence. The following 10 easy ways to stimulate intelligence in children will provide an "enriched environment" for brain growth.

1. Love and Self-Esteem Improve Academic Performance

In a long series of experiments, Prescott Lecky, an American educational researcher, found a high correlation between low self-esteem and learning problems in children.

He correctly theorized that by raising a child's self-esteem, learning performance would also improve.

His success stories include a poor speller who averaged 55% in spelling improved to 91% in six months, a Latin student who went from 30% to 84% after three encouraging conversations with a teacher, and a student considered to have no aptitude for English who improved over a semester to win the school's literary prize.

2. Breast Fed Babies Are Smarter

Danish researchers found that mother's milk contained essential micronutrients for brain development. In fact, the longer the child was breast fed, the more the brain was nourished. For example, infants breast fed for 9 months were smarter than infants only breast-fed for two months.

3. Proper Nutrition Improve Health And Nerve Conduction

Diets high in sugar, Trans fatty acids, and salt decreased health in children. Junk food failed to provide sufficient iron for healthy brain development, resulting in poor nerve impulses. Children with nutritional deficiency also missed school more often because of illness and fell behind their peers.

4. Proper Breakfast Improves Attention At School

Thirty years of research has shown a strong correlation between breakfast and mental alertness. Children who had nutritious breakfasts had better memory. They also concentrated better and absorbed more information during class. Those who had no breakfast or poor breakfast were more irritable and distracted during class.

5. Exercise Benefits Intelligence And Personality

Research conducted by the University of Illinois showed that fitter children performed better academically. Besides the obvious physiological benefits of improved oxygen intake, blood flow, immune stimulation, and neural transmission, there was also a psychological and sociological component, too. Psychologically, fitter children showed higher self-esteem. Sociologically, those who participated in organized sports displayed more confidence, more cooperation, and spontaneous leadership.

6. Musical Training Improves IQ Into Adulthood

Long-term research by the University of Toronto showed that organized music lessons benefited children all the way into adulthood. The longer the child studied music, the higher their IQs as adults. Music students also displayed better grades throughout their schooling.

7. Some Video Games Enhance Mental Acuity

Research by the University of Rochester found that certain video games improved sensory perception, strategic thinking, and planning ahead of time. The video games that created positive mental improvements had an educational element that improved motor skills and enhanced memory.

8. Mind Games Do More Than Entertain

Board games like chess, checkers, creative games like Lego and jigsaw puzzles, and brainteaser games like crosswords, cryptograms, riddles, and Sudoku improved intelligence. Specifically, they stimulated better decision-making, smarter analytical thinking, and more accurate problem solving.

9. Reading Improves Both Creativity And Logic

Whether a child was read to at bedtime, or actively read their own books, silently or aloud, they displayed increased left and right brain intellectual growth. Both fiction and non-fiction books improved creative imagination and logical, sequential thinking.

10. Nurturing Curiosity Creates An Open, Absorbent Mind

Curiosity, the urge to seek knowledge, is essential to improving intelligence in children. Conducting educational outings, teaching new skills, and supporting hobbies encouraged the development of curiosity.

These 10 ways of raising intelligence in children are easy to apply, practical, and within the reach of parents and teachers. Research has shown that they are highly effective in creating the environmental support children need to develop their intelligence.

HOME SCHOOLING


In these present times, getting the best education for your children is of the utmost importance. The topic of student education is a controversial one as there are more than a few options available for the parent to plan the educational development of their children. It does not help that the public educational setting is often full of issue and debate over allocation of school funding, curricula choices and external influences. These things and others end up affecting a student's education, personal development and belief system.

As time has past, it has been taken for granted that getting a good education and nurturing the academic and interest path of many children is successfully accomplished by the institutionalized school systems of our states and cities.

For many, the public school systems have not met the needs of many parents and their children with respect to the academic educational standards expected by the proactive parent. This has resulted in a growing movement of parents taking the education of their children into their own hands. Home schooling continues to grow and to expand as more and more parents realize the many benefits and advantages of teaching at home.

Home schooling offers many benefits and advantages over traditional educational methods and systems offered through our public schools.

Home schooling allows the parent to select the exact lesson plan or curriculum the students will learn from based on what the parent thinks is best for the student, not the public school system. It is often found that many public schools teach students subjects that are academically irrelevant, not challenging, or that are really best left to the parent to teach.

Home schooling offers a control mechanism over this and allows for a way to tailor the student's education to specific interests and desires while continuing to provide a challenge level that will keep the student growing in terms of his or her learning abilities.

Home schooling offers flexibility of the educational process. Some students excel at some things but not at others. Home schooling a student of this nature would allow that student to excel where his or her strengths are while at the same time allowing that student to spend a little more in the development of the weaker areas.

Some students are gifted and do well with all subject matter they are being taught. For them, home schooling allows for the education process to be more challenging since a more academically challenging curriculum can be adopted. Gifted home schooled students are able to pursue their interests and development path without the time constraints or curriculum limitations that are present in the traditional learning environment.

There are many ways that home schooling can be accomplished today. Some parents opt for a structured curriculum while others use available textbooks. Some parents combine these things with their own teaching while others teach each lesson completely of their own resources. Knowing this, it is evident that this education process is completely flexible, can be specifically tailored to the student's needs and can be changed on the fly as student educational needs change.

Home schooling offers other indirect advantages as well. One of these might be more available time. Home schooling can be an efficient way to teach. The time you have during the day can be used efficiently, thereby reducing the overall time that the student actually spends at school. This efficient use of time results in more time to be spent on additional activities either related or unrelated to the student's education.

Home schooling allows for the parent to become the main mentor and source of guidance for a child. Since a home schooled child relates to the parent a lot more, the child and parent can form a tighter bond than they might otherwise form. This bond could be the foundation of a higher degree of trust between the child and parent where the child is more apt to come to the parent for help and guidance instead of turning elsewhere.

Home schooling can be an outlet for a special case where a child may have been a victim of excessive bullying at a regular public school. School bullying is a serious problem at some schools and is a hard issue to resolve. The home schooling of a child victimized in this way offers the child a way to re-focus on learning while at the same time being able to receive the close parental guidance needed to overcome how the child handles situations of this nature.

It is now known for a fact that home schooled students do well when it comes to college preparation. In general, home schooled students have performed equal to or better than public schooled students on SAT assessments. In addition, it is a fact that home schooled students have an equal success factor for doing well in college as their public schooled peers.

Home schooling is not for everyone. Each parent should carefully evaluate whether home schooling will benefit their particular situation or not. There are many considerations to be made when choosing to home school, but for many, home schooling has been a choice that has proven to be very beneficial to the student's exceptional education.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

SCHOOSING CHILD CARE : a tips

Finding good childcare requires patience, persistence and a few detective skills. Here's what to look for in a qualified day-care center.

For most of us, returning to work and finding alternative care for our child is a fact of life. For many, licensed day-care centers offer the answer. The question is, what makes a good day-care center?

Every day-care center provides, as the name implies, all day care including snacks, lunch and naptime. Generally the caregivers at licensed day-care centers must be fully trained in Early Childhood Education, or its equivalent. Beyond that, the signs of a good day-care center is how adult caregivers interact with children, says Nadia Hall of Mothercraft. "Look at the way care-giving routines are handled such as eating. Is it a time to socialize, to have a warm conversation so as to develop language skills and to allow the child to feel special? Look to see that children's self esteem is being built and that each child is known intimately well by the care-giver."

Hall believes one of the benefits of good day-care is socialization, even for babies as young as ten months. "Children form peer groups at nine and ten months and they know when someone is away. By the time they are toddlers they have formed a very solid peer group and that's the time care-givers are teaching them social skills such as sharing, empathy and learning how to do things as a group."

Finally, Hall says that as good as a day-care center may be, it may still not be the answer for your own child. "If the child is shy, slow to warm up to large groups of children or bothered by the noise level then perhaps a better option is family day care at private homes where there are smaller numbers with one nurturing mother figure."

While leaving young children behind in care is inevitable for many working parents, it's still a difficult adjustment. But by finding the most appropriate childcare arrangement from the onset, this back-to-work transition can be eased for both child and parent.

FIGHTS WITH OTHERS

Is your child on the outs with her friends? As tempting as it is, jumping in to solve her tiffs isn't the best solution.

When our children have a fight with one of their friends, it's very tempting to want to step in and wave a magic wand to make it all better. After all, it's difficult to see your child hurt. Of course if a child is being physically and verbally abused, we need to step in, perhaps by speaking to a teacher or parent. But if the hurt is due to a tiff between a couple of friends, our best reaction is to simply listen says pediatrician Dr. Kathryn Leonard. "I think so often a child will come home from school and tell you of something awful a friend did to them and our response will be to tell them to forget about it and that this person wasn't a good friend anyway. It’s an attempt to make a child feel better. It’s more important to be noncommittal and ask about what happened, how they feel, and to just be on the receiving end of things. There is no way a parent can help them feel better by telling them not to feel bad."

Parent educator Sarah Dimmerman agrees. "If a child has been hurt by one of his friends at school, a parent shouldn't immediately jump in and try to change the situation, instead they should focus on their own child's thoughts and feelings, help them problem solve, and see what their options are in dealing with the situation the next time."

Michelle Borba, author of "Esteem Builders" adds that when a child is having trouble making or keeping friends, parents may need to hone their detective skills to "see if you can pinpoint where the problem is. So often they're saying that they're having problems with friends. This is too general. See if there's a specific problem like sharing or conversing. Pinpoint it and then reteach it as a skill by modeling how to do that one area. "

Finally, it really helps if children know that no matter what storm they're weathering at school, they are 100% supported by their parents on the home front says Dimmerman. "It's always important for children to know, especially when they're about to go into grade one, that they have a really open and good relationship with their parents to talk about what's happened."

MAKE FRIENDS


Socializing is one of the most complex skills a child will learn. As parents, we can do a lot to help them develop these skills positively.

Even as toddlers, friends play a special role in children's lives. Friendship helps build self esteem and teach empathy. But the seeds of friendship begin before the toddler years, planted when our children are still infants.

Child psychiatrist Dr. Alice Charach explains that "friendship actually begins at birth because the basic building block of friendship is that special relationship between a child and his parent. After children have developed really strong, trusting relationships with their mom or dad, they can then go on and expand their world." Dr. Charach adds that "children start to expand their world around age one or two, when they become interested in other children. They want to be with them, play with them, and watch them. And that is when it's really helpful for parents to start coaching them in what is the best way in getting along with other children."

Making friends begins with learning how to play. "The first type of play that you’ll see your child engage in is solitary play," says child life specialist Bindy Sweet. That means playing alone or watching others. People get concerned about children playing alone or watching others and they think that it isn’t really play. But it’s fine for children to have time alone and watch others."

At about 18 months we begin to see children engage in parallel play. "That’s the kind of play we often get when toddlers get together," says Sweet. "They’re playing side by side but doing different things. They’re getting comfortable with each other and watching each other, but we wouldn’t really call it interactive play at that point. Soon however they will move into co-operative play where you see that back and forth exchange and communication."

During the toddler years friendship can involve little fights and bouts of crying. But Dr. Charach says many fights can be avoided by preparing children for visits with friends. "If you want to help young children develop friendships, then make sure they're not tired and hungry when they're with little friends. Help them feel good at the time that they're with their friends and they are more likely to have positive experiences."

CHOOSING A PRESCHOOL

Preschool is a big step for a child. Make sure the one you’re sending your little one to is right for him.

Sending your child off to nursery or preschool is a big step for both children and parents. After all, it’s usually children’s first taste of true independence and possibly the first time they’ll have been separated from parents or caregivers on a regular basis.

Naturally you’ll want to choose the best nursery or preschool possible for your child. But what should you look for? According to preschool consultant Dr. Jennifer Hardacre, "the most important thing to consider is the teacher, in that all preschool teachers should be well qualified and show an interest in your child’s particular needs. They should also have a degree in early childhood education or it’s equivalent."

Something else to look for is the way the nursery school program is presented. Dr. Hardacre feels that young children need an atmosphere that “is relaxed and low-key, and that has plenty of time for individual children to pursue their own interests. So for instance you might see in the morning for as much as an hour, many different activities for children to engage themselves in. That’s where you see the sand play available, and the water play and the dramatic play and the big blocks and puzzles, and art materials. There should be plenty of time for individual activities to go on.”

Of course songs and games are a major component of the preschool experience. However Dr. Hardacre adds that it’s best if “group activities are brief and pleasant and not dominated by requirements to sit up and sit still.”

Overall, nursery school should be far less structured than what your child will experience when they reach grade one and their formal education begins in earnest. Dr. Hardacre says you’ll know if a nursery school is right for your child by researching the school, asking good questions of the teachers and by listening to your intuition. “I think if the adult gets the feeling of being relaxed and comfortable, then the children likely feel relaxed and comfortable too. "

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

STRUGGLING SCHOOL-AGE BOYS

A new study says parents are right to worry about their sons.

Every other week it seems a new study comes out that adds to our already-formidable arsenal of parental worries. But even by those escalating standards, the report issued last week by the federal government's National Center for Health Statistics contained a jaw-dropper: the parents of nearly one of every five boys in the United States were concerned enough about what they saw as their sons' emotional or behavioral problems that they consulted a doctor or a health-care professional.

The report confirms what many of us have been observing for some time now: that lots of school-age boys are struggling. And, parents are intensely worried about them.
What is ailing our sons? Some experts suggest we are witnessing an epidemic of ADHD and say boys need more medication. Others say that environmental pollutants found in plastics, among other things, may be eroding their attention spans and their ability to regulate their emotions.

Those experts may be right but I have another suggestion. Let's examine the way our child rearing and our schools have evolved in the last 10 years. Then ask ourselves this challenging question: could some of those changes we have embraced in our families, our communities and our schools be driving our sons crazy?
Instead of unstructured free play, parents now schedule their kids' time from dawn till dusk (and sometimes beyond.) By age 4, an ever-increasing number of children are enrolled in preschool. There, instead of learning to get along with other kids, hold a crayon and play Duck, Duck, Goose, children barely out of diapers are asked to fill out work sheets, learn computation or study Mandarin. The drumbeat for early academics gets even louder when they enter "real" school. Veteran teachers will tell you that first graders are now routinely expected to master a curriculum that, only 15 years ago, would have been considered appropriate for second, even third graders. The way we teach children has changed, too. In many communities, elementary schools have become test-prep factories—where standardized testing begins in kindergarten and "teaching to the test" is considered a virtue. At the same time, recess is being pushed aside in order to provide extra time for reading and math drills. So is history and opportunities for hands-on activities—like science labs and art. Active play is increasingly frowned on—some schools have even banned recess and tag. In the wake of school shootings like the tragedy at Virginia Tech, kids who stretch out a pointer finger, bend their thumb and shout "pow!" are regarded with suspicion and not a little fear.
Our expectations for our children have been ramped up but the psychological and physical development of our children has remained about the same. Some kids are thriving in the changing world. But many aren't. What parents and teachers see—and what this government study now shows—is that the ones who can't handle it are disproportionately boys.
Some researchers responded to last weeks' study by calling for more resources for more mental-health services for children—especially males. That's an admirable goal. But when nearly one in five boys has such serious behavioral and emotional issues that their parents are talking it over with their pediatrician, you can bet we are facing a problem that requires a more fundamental change in our society than medication or weekly therapy. Let's take a moment, before the school year gets any farther underway, and ask ourselves whether we are raising and educating our boys in a way that respects their natural development. And if we are not, let's figure out how we can bring our family life and our schools back into line.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

SUCCESFUL APPROACHES IN EDUCATION

Successful Approaches to Family Involvement in Education
This idea is intended to assist educators, parents, and policy makers as they develop and nurture school-family partnerships. These district and school programs enhance parent-school communications and help parents support their children's academic work at school and at home.
Some of the programs involve parents in school planning and governance activities and as volunteers. Some also provide coordinated essential non-educational services for families to support their children's academic development. Telephone interviews with staff and parents at these programs as well as focus group interviews with parents provided the detailed illustrations of specific strategies for overcoming barriers to parent involvement included here.
This idea suggests ways that schools, families, and communities can work together to build strong partnerships. It is organized around strategies for overcoming common barriers to family involvement in schools. These strategies include:
  • Overcoming time and resource constraints. In order to build strong partnerships, families and school staff members need time to get to know one another, plan how they will work together to increase student learning, and carry out their plans. Successful programs find the time and resources for both teachers and parents to develop school-family partnerships.
  • Providing information and training to parents and school staff. Without the information and skills to communicate with each other, misperceptions and distrust can flourish between parents and school personnel. Initiatives to bridge the information gap between parents and school are at the center of each of the 20 programs reviewed for this Idea Book. Through workshops and a variety of outreach activities such as informative newsletters, handbooks, and home visits, parents and school staff across these programs are learning how to trust each other and work together to help children succeed in school.
  • Restructuring schools to support family involvement. Developing a successful school-family partnership must be a whole school endeavor, not the work of a single person or program. Traditional school organization and practices, especially in secondary schools, often discourage family members from becoming involved. To create a welcoming environment for parents, one that enlists their support in helping their children succeed, schools can make changes that make them more personal and inviting places. Whatever steps schools take in developing partnerships with families, schools that are most successful are prepared to reconsider all of their established ways of doing business and to restructure in ways that will make them less hierarchical, more personal, and more accessible to parents.
  • Bridging school-family differences. Language and cultural differences as well as differences in educational attainment separating families and school staff can make communication and family participation in school activities difficult. Strategies to address these differences include reaching out to parents with little formal education, addressing language differences through bilingual services for communicating both orally and in writing with families about school programs and children's progress, and promoting cultural understanding to build trust between home and school.
  • Tapping external supports for partnerships. Many Title I schools have nourished and strengthened partnerships by tapping the supports available in their local communities and beyond. Collaborative efforts to provide schools and families with the tools they need to support learning can include partnerships with local businesses, health care and other community service agencies, and colleges and universities, as well as supports provided by school districts and states.

FAMILIES AND SCHOOL AS PARTNERS

If families are to work with schools as partners in the education of their children, schools must provide them with the opportunities and support they need to become involved. Too often schools expect families to do it all alone. Developing effective partnerships with families requires that all school staff (administrators, teachers, and support staff) create a school environment that welcomes parents and encourages them to raise questions and voice their concerns as well as to participate appropriately in decision making. Developing partnerships also requires that school staff provide parents with the information and training they need to become involved and that they reach out to parents with invitations to participate in their children's learning.
Schools that are most successful in engaging parents and other family members in support of their children's learning look beyond traditional definitions of parent involvement--participating in a parent teacher organization or signing quarterly report cards--to a broader conception of parents as full partners in the education of their children. Rather than striving only to increase parent participation in school-based activities, successful schools seek to support families in their activities outside of school that can encourage their children's learning. Schools that have developed successful partnerships with parents view student achievement as a shared responsibility, and all stakeholders--including parents, administrators, teachers, and community leaders--play important roles in supporting children's learning.
Successful school-family partnerships require the sustained mutual collaboration, support, and participation of school staffs and families at home and at school in activities that can directly affect the success of children's learning. If families are to work with schools as full partners in the education of their children, schools must provide them with the opportunities and support they need for success.

Monday, September 8, 2008

PARENTING TIPS


A Well-Balanced Meal: Fighting Childhood Obesity


When the mont with it warmer spring weather and new beginnings, making it the perfect time to begin a healthier and more active lifestyle. Making good food choices helps the entire family stay healthy and is especially important to help children develop strong bones and muscles.

At the most schools, the teachers may integrate nutrition into daily activities to help children learn to make good food choices, as well as learn how food helps keep their bodies healthy and strong. Students learn to identify nutritious foods as part of the Balanced Learning® curriculum, practice healthy habits and life skills during the regular school day, and even grow their own fruits and vegetables in an on site garden.
Teachers find that integrating health, nutrition, and physical activity into daily experiences and routines helps to promote health and well-being as a way of life. Here are a few tips to help you and your family set the early foundations for a lifetime of healthy choices:

Make mealtime family time and set a good example. Turn off the television and try to eat at least one meal a day together as a family. Children tend to eat more fruits, vegetables, and dairy when they watch adults and older siblings do the same at shared meals.
Get the family involved in meal planning and preparation. Set guidelines for healthy meals and ask each family member to select a meal for the week by leafing through magazines, recipe books, or browsing online for healthy meal options. Grocery shop together as family and point out healthy foods as you go.
Make healthy foods readily available. Keep healthy snacks—fruit, whole-grain crackers, vegetable sticks, cheese, etc.—at eye-level in the pantry and refrigerator. Store these items in a variety of locations such as the car, in backpacks and purses, etc. so they are readily available when needed.
Incorporate fruits and vegetables into favorite family recipes. Chop fruit and vegetables and add them to family favorites such as pizza, pasta sauce, lean hamburger, etc. for a quick and easy way to increase your family’s fruit and vegetable intake.
Eat a variety of colors at each meal. Incorporating colorful fruits, vegetables, and low fat cheeses into meals with more neutral-colored proteins and starches is a simple way to ensure a balance of vitamins and nutrients at every meal.
Balance good food choices with an active lifestyle. Encourage everyone in the family to be active, whether it means playing outside, being involved in sports, joining a gym, etc. Balancing healthy eating with physical activity helps each family member maintain optimum health.

PARTENTING TIPS


Using Computers with Children at Home
Computers have become an essential part of today’s world. At school teachers integrate computers into daily learning to enhance children’s cognitive and social development and help them learn to use technology effectively.
Computers and the Internet enable children to explore the world in a new way and provide resources to answer a variety of questions. Many children may enjoy playing on the computer alone or with a friend. In addition, teachers have found that children benefit even more from their time at the computer when they spend time reviewing the selected Internet sites, games, or activities with them first. This enables the teachers to explain rules for the computer and Internet, preview games and Internet sites for age-appropriate activities, as well as have conversations with children about what they are learning on the computer. Spending time together on the computer provides an opportunity for a shared learning experience and for adults to share the purpose of computer-based activities.
Here are a few tips to help you and your family use computers and the Internet at home:
• Balance computer time with a variety of other experiences such as books, outdoor play, drawing, board games, toys, art projects, blocks, etc.
• Most children are ready to begin using computers at the age of three under adult supervision and guidance. They will pick up use of a mouse and keyboard quickly given the opportunity. Special child-sized keyboard and mouse are also available to better fit small hands.
• Discuss rules of computer use and demonstrate the various parts of a computer prior to use by children.
• Meet with your child’s teachers to coordinate and reinforce school learning with computer activities at home. Families have access to links and activities related to weekly School Units of Learning themes through the Theme-Related Links under the School-to-Home section of School Parents’ Place on the school website.
• Select online activities and software that provide a variety of creative learning opportunities such as early word processing skills and the review of academic skills such as number and letter recognition, etc.
• Use web quests to help children learn more about a particular subject or to answer a question about a topic. Families all have access to searchable websites through School Parents’ Place. Resources include online encyclopedias, safe web quests, and more.
• Allow children to print the work they have done on the computer to demonstrate tangible results of their work.

PARENTING TIPS


Organize and enjoy this summer!

Another school year has come to an end, along with a multitude of adorable art work and school projects authored by your little one. As a proud parent, you want to keep and cherish all of your child's creations. However, many of us find that they pile up in a space in our kitchen or family room, which can turn into a very overwhelming mess to tackle. Now that it is summertime, take time to organize these masterpieces collected throughout the school year, so that the whole family can enjoy them and remember them for years to come.
  1. Sort through what you have collected and have your child help you select the favorites which you will keep.
  2. Label it with your child’s name, grade, and year.
  3. Select several art projects to send to grandparents and other relatives.
  4. Select a few favorite pieces to hang up in the house. Stores sell “art cables” with clips to hang favorite artwork or you might prefer to frame your child’s artwork and hang it in a special location (ex: toy room, office, child’s bedroom, etc.).
  5. Organize what’s left:
  • Consider buying a three-ring binder for each child — place the school papers and art work in the binder and have your child create a picture to insert on the outside cover. In a couple of years, your child will enjoy remembering the school year, and you will have one less pile in your kitchen!
  • Purchase clear storage bins for a closet or to slide under a bed — label bins with each child’s name. Slide artwork and school work into these bins throughout the school year.
  • File them away — label hanging file folders with your child’s name and the school year and place them in the family’s filing cabinet. Slide favorite art work and saved school papers in the hanging file folders for easy access throughout the year. The filing cabinet keeps precious art work safe and provides a fun contrast to the paperwork sharing the file cabinet.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

GREAT PRESCHOOL

10 Signs of a Great Preschool

If your child is between the ages of 3 and 6 and attends a child care center, preschool, or kindergarten program, the National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC) suggests you look for these 10 signs to make sure your child is in a good classroom.

  1. Children spend most of their playing and working with materials or other children. They do not wander aimlessly, and they are not expected to sit quietly for long periods of time.
  2. Children have access to various activities throughout the day. Look for assorted building blocks and other construction materials, props for pretend play, picture books, paints and other art materials, and table toys such as matching games, pegboards, and puzzles. Children should not all be doing the same thing at the same time.
  3. Teachers work with individual children, small groups, and the whole group at different times during the day. They do not spend all their time with the whole group.
  4. The classroom is decorated with children's original artwork, their own writing with invented spelling, and stories dictated by children to teachers.
  5. Children learn numbers and the alphabet in the context of their everyday experiences. The natural world of plants and animals and meaningful activities like cooking, taking attendance, or serving snack provide the basis for learning activities.
  6. Children work on projects and have long periods of time (at least one hour) to play and explore. Worksheets are used little if at all.
  7. Children have an opportunity to play outside every day. Outdoor play is never sacrificed for more instructional time.
  8. Teachers read books to children individually or in small groups throughout the day, not just at group story time.
  9. Curriculum is adapted for those who are ahead as well as those who need additional help. Teachers recognize that children's different background and experiences mean that they do not learn the same things at the same time in the same way.
  10. Children and their parents look forward to school. Parents feel secure about sending their child to the program. Children are happy to attend; they do not cry regularly or complain of feeling sick.

Friday, September 5, 2008

THE SEVEN-LESSON SCHOOLTEACHER


Teaching means different things in different places, but seven lessons are universally taught from Harlem to Hollywood Hills. They constitute a national curriculum you pay for in more ways than you can imagine, so you might as well know what it is. You are at liberty, of course, to regard these lessons any way you like, but believe me when I say I intend no irony in this presentation. These are the things I teach, these are the things you pay me to teach. Make of them what you will.

1. CONFUSION

A lady named Kathy wrote this to me from Dubois, Indiana the other day:

"What big ideas are important to little kids? Well, the biggest idea I think they need is that what they are learning isn't idiosyncratic -- that there is some system to it all and it's not just raining down on them as they helplessly absorb. That's the task, to understand, to make coherent."

Kathy has it wrong. The first lesson I teach is confusion. Everything I teach is out of context. I teach the un-relating of everything. I teach disconnections. I teach too much: the orbiting of planets, the law of large numbers, slavery, adjectives, architectural drawing, dance, gymnasium, choral singing, assemblies, surprise guests, fire drills, computer languages, parents' nights, staff-development days, pull-out programs, guidance with strangers my students may never see again, standardized tests, age-segregation unlike anything seen in the outside world....What do any of these things have to do with each other?

Even in the best schools a close examination of curriculum and its sequences turns up a lack of coherence, full of internal contradictions. Fortunately the children have no words to define the panic and anger they feel at constant violations of natural order and sequence fobbed off on them as quality in education. The logic of the school-mind is that it is better to leave school with a tool kit of superficial jargon derived from economics, sociology, natural science and so on than to leave with one genuine enthusiasm. But quality in education entails learning about something in depth. Confusion is thrust upon kids by too many strange adults, each working alone with only the thinnest relationship with each other, pretending for the most part, to an expertise they do not possess.

Meaning, not disconnected facts, is what sane human beings seek, and education is a set of codes for processing raw facts into meaning. Behind the patchwork quilt of school sequences and the school obsession with facts and theories, the age-old human search lies well concealed. This is harder to see in elementary school where the hierarchy of school experience seems to make better sense because the good-natured simple relationship of "let's do this" and "let's do that" is just assumed to mean something and the clientele has not yet consciously discerned how little substance is behind the play and pretense.

Think of the great natural sequences like learning to walk and learning to talk; following the progression of light from sunrise to sunset; witnessing the ancient procedures of a farmer, a smithy, or a shoemaker; watching your mother prepare a Thanksgiving feast -- all of the parts are in perfect harmony with each other, each action justifies itself and illuminates the past and the future. School sequences aren't like that, not inside a single class and not among the total menu of daily classes. School sequences are crazy. There is no particular reason for any of them, nothing that bears close scrutiny. Few teachers would dare to teach the tools whereby dogmas of a school or a teacher could be criticized since everything must be accepted. School subjects are learned, if they can be learned, like children learn the catechism or memorize the Thirty-nine Articles of Anglicanism.

I teach the un-relating of everything, an infinite fragmentation the opposite of cohesion; what I do is more related to television programming than to making a scheme of order. In a world where home is only a ghost, because both parents work, or because too many moves or too many job changes or too much ambition, or because something else has left everybody too confused to maintain a family relation, I teach you how to accept confusion as your destiny. That's the first lesson I teach.

2. CLASS POSITION

The second lesson I teach is class position. I teach that students must stay in the class where they belong. I don't know who decides my kids belong there but that's not my business. The children are numbered so that if any get away they can be returned to the right class. Over the years the variety of ways children are numbered by schools has increased dramatically, until it is hard to see the human beings plainly under the weight of numbers they carry. Numbering children is a big and very profitable undertaking, though what the strategy is designed to accomplish is elusive. I don't even know why parents would, without a fight, allow it to be done to their kids.

In any case, again, that's not my business. My job is to make them like it, being locked in together with children who bear numbers like their own. Or at the least to endure it like good sports. If I do my job well, the kids can't even imagine themselves somewhere else, because I've shown them how to envy and fear the better classes and how to have contempt for the dumb classes. Under this efficient discipline the class mostly polices itself into good marching order. That's the real lesson of any rigged competition like school. You come to know your place.

In spite of the overall class blueprint, which assumes that ninety-nine percent of the kids are in their class to stay, I nevertheless make a public effort to exhort children to higher levels of test success, hinting at eventual transfer from the lower class as a reward. I frequently insinuate that the day will come when an employer will hire them on the basis of test scores and grades, even though my own experience is that employers are rightly indifferent to such things. I never lie outright, but I've come to see that truth and schoolteaching are, at bottom, incompatible just as Socrates said they were thousands of years ago. The lesson of numbered classes is that everyone has a proper place in the pyramid and that there is no way out of your class except by number magic. Failing that, you must stay where you are put.

3. INDIFFERENCE

The third lesson I teach kids is indifference. I teach children not to care about anything too much, even though they want to make it appear that they do. How I do this is very subtle. I do it by demanding that they become totally involved in my lessons, jumping up and down in their seats with anticipation, competing vigorously with each other for my favor. It's heartwarming when they do that; it impresses everyone, even me. When I'm at my best I plan lessons very carefully in order to produce this show of enthusiasm. But when the bell rings I insist that they stop whatever it is that we've been working on and proceed quickly to the next work station. They must turn on and off like a light switch. Nothing important is ever finished in my class, nor in any other class I know of. Students never have a complete experience except on the installment plan.

Indeed, the lesson of the bells is that no work is worth finishing, so why care too deeply about anything? Years of bells will condition all but the strongest to a world that can no longer offer important work to do. Bells are the secret logic of schooltime; their logic is inexorable. Bells destroy the past and future, converting every interval into a sameness, as the abstraction of a map renders every living mountain and river the same, even though they are not. Bells inoculate each undertaking with indifference.

4. EMOTIONAL DEPENDENCY

The fourth lesson I teach is emotional dependency. By stars and red checks, smiles and frowns, prizes, honors and disgraces I teach kids to surrender their will to the predestined chain of command. Rights may be granted or withheld by any authority without appeal, because rights do not exist inside a school -- not even the right of free speech, as the Supreme Court has ruled -- unless school authorities say they do. As a schoolteacher, I intervene in many personal decisions, issuing a pass for those I deem legitimate, or initiating a disciplinary confrontation for behavior that threatens my control. Individuality is constantly trying to assert itself among children and teenagers, so my judgments come thick and fast. Individuality is a contradiction of class theory, a curse to all systems of classification.

Here are some common ways it shows up: children sneak away for a private moment in the toilet on the pretext of moving their bowels, or they steal a private instant in the hallway on the grounds they need water. I know they don't, but I allow them to deceive me because this conditions them to depend on my favors. Sometimes free will appears right in front of me in children angry, depressed or happy about things outside my ken; rights in such matters cannot be recognized by schoolteachers, only privileges that can be withdrawn, hostages to good behavior.

5. INTELLECTUAL DEPENDENCY

The fifth lesson I teach is intellectual dependency. Good people wait for a teacher to tell them what to do. It is the most important lesson, that we must wait for other people, better trained than ourselves, to make the meanings of our lives. The expert makes all the important choices; only I, the teacher, can determine what you must study, or rather, only the people who pay me can make those decisions which I then enforce. If I'm told that evolution is a fact instead of a theory, I transmit that as ordered, punishing deviants who resist what I have been told to tell them to think. This power to control what children will think lets me separate successful students from failures very easily.

Successful children do the thinking I appoint them with a minimum of resistance and a decent show of enthusiasm. Of the millions of things of value to study, I decide what few we have time for, or actually it is decided by my faceless employers. The choices are theirs, why should I argue? Curiosity has no important place in my work, only conformity.

Bad kids fight this, of course, even though they lack the concepts to know what they are fighting, struggling to make decisions for themselves about what they will learn and when they will learn it. How can we allow that and survive as schoolteachers? Fortunately there are procedures to break the will of those who resist; it is more difficult, naturally, if the kid has respectable parents who come to his aid, but that happens less and less in spite of the bad reputation of schools. No middle-class parents I have ever met actually believe that their kid's school is one of the bad ones. Not one single parent in twenty-six years of teaching. That's amazing and probably the best testimony to what happens to families when mother and father have been well-schooled themselves, learning the seven lessons.

Good people wait for an expert to tell them what to do. It is hardly an exaggeration to say that our entire economy depends upon this lesson being learned. Think of what would fall apart if kids weren't trained to be dependent: the social-service businesses could hardly survive; they would vanish, I think, into the recent historical limbo out of which they arose. Counselors and therapists would look on in horror as the supply of psychic invalids vanished. Commercial entertainment of all sorts, including television, would wither as people learned again how to make their own fun. Restaurants, prepared-food and a whole host of other assorted food services would be drastically down-sized if people returned to making their own meals rather than depending on strangers to plant, pick, chop, and cook for them. Much of modern law, medicine, and engineering would go too, the clothing business and schoolteaching as well, unless a guaranteed supply of helpless people continued to pour out of our schools each year.

Don't be too quick to vote for radical school reform if you want to continue getting a paycheck. We've built a way of life that depends on people doing what they are told because they don't know how to tell themselves what to do. It's one of the biggest lessons I teach.

6. PROVISIONAL SELF-ESTEEM

The sixth lesson I teach is provisional self-esteem. If you've ever tried to wrestle a kid into line whose parents have convinced him to believe they'll love him in spite of anything, you know how impossible it is to make self-confident spirits conform. Our world wouldn't survive a flood of confident people very long, so I teach that your self-respect should depend on expert opinion. My kids are constantly evaluated and judged.

A monthly report, impressive in its provision, is sent into students' homes to signal approval or to mark exactly, down to a single percentage point, how dissatisfied with their children parents should be. The ecology of "good" schooling depends upon perpetuating dissatisfaction just as much as the commercial economy depends on the same fertilizer. Although some people might be surprised how little time or reflection goes into making up these mathematical records, the cumulative weight of the objective-seeming documents establishes a profile that compels children to arrive at certain decisions about themselves and their futures based on the casual judgment of strangers. Self-evaluation, the staple of every major philosophical system that ever appeared on the planet, is never considered a factor. The lesson of report cards, grades, and tests is that children should not trust themselves or their parents but should instead rely on the evaluation of certified officials. People need to be told what they are worth.

7. ONE CAN'T HIDE

The seventh lesson I teach is that one can't hide. I teach children they are always watched, that each is under constant surveillance by myself and my colleagues. There are no private spaces for children, there is no private time. Class change lasts three hundred seconds to keep promiscuous fraternization at low levels. Students are encouraged to tattle on each other or even to tattle on their own parents. Of course, I encourage parents to file their own child's waywardness too. A family trained to snitch on itself isn't likely to conceal any dangerous secrets.

I assign a type of extended schooling called "homework," so that the effect of surveillance, if not that surveillance itself, travels into private households, where students might otherwise use free time to learn something unauthorized from a father or mother, by exploration, or by apprenticing to some wise person in the neighborhood. Disloyalty to the idea of schooling is a Devil always ready to find work for idle hands.

The meaning of constant surveillance and denial of privacy is that no one can be trusted, that privacy is not legitimate. Surveillance is an ancient imperative, espoused by certain influential thinkers, a central prescription set down in The Republic, in The City of God, in the Institutes of the Christian Religion, in New Atlantis, in Leviathan, and in a host of other places. All these childless men who wrote these books discovered the same thing: children must be closely watched if you want to keep a society under tight central control. Children will follow a private drummer if you can't get them into a uniformed marching band.

II

It is the great triumph of compulsory government monopoly mass-schooling that among even the best of my fellow teachers, and among the best of my students' parents, only a small number can imagine a different way to do things. "The kids have to know how to read and write, don't they?" "They have to know how to add and subtract, don't they?" "They have to learn to follow orders if they ever expect to keep a job."

Only a few lifetimes ago things were very different in the United States. Originality and variety were common currency; our freedom from regimentation made us the miracle of the world; social-class boundaries were relatively easy to cross; our citizenry was marvelously confident, inventive, and able to do much for themselves independently, and to think for themselves. We were something special, we Americans, all by ourselves, without government sticking its nose into our lives, without institutions and social agencies telling us how to think and feel. We were something special, as individuals, as Americans.

But we've had a society essentially under central control in the United States since just before the Civil War, and such a society requires compulsory schooling, government monopoly schooling, to maintain itself. Before this development schooling wasn't very important anywhere. We had it, but not too much of it, and only as much as an individual wanted. People learned to read, write, and do arithmetic just fine anyway; there are some studies that suggest literacy at the time of the American Revolution, at least for non-slaves on the Eastern seaboard, was close to total. Thomas Paine's Common Sense sold 600,000 copies to a population of 3,000,000, twenty percent of whom were slaves, and fifty percent indentured servants.

Were the colonists geniuses? No, the truth is that reading, writing, and arithmetic only take about one hundred hours to transmit as long as the audience is eager and willing to learn. The trick is to wait until someone asks and then move fast while the mood is on. Millions of people teach themselves these things, it really isn't very hard. Pick up a fifth-grade math or rhetoric textbook from 1850 and you'll see that the texts were pitched then on what would today be considered college level. The continuing cry for "basic skills" practice is a smoke screen behind which schools preempt the time of children for twelve years and teach them the seven lessons I've just described to you.

The society that has become increasingly under central control since just before the Civil War shows itself in the lives we lead, the clothes we wear, the food we eat, and the green highway signs we drive by from coast to coast, all of which are the products of this control. So, too, I think, are the epidemics of drugs, suicide, divorce, violence, cruelty, and the hardening of class into caste in the United States products of the dehumanization of our lives, the lessening of individual, family, and community importance, a diminishment that proceeds from central control. The character of large compulsory institutions is inevitable; they want more and more until there isn't any more to give. School takes our children away from any possibility of an active role in community life -- in fact it destroys communities by relegating the training of children to the hands of certified experts -- and by doing so it ensures our children cannot grow up fully human. Aristotle taught that without a fully active role in community life one could not hope to become a healthy human being. Surely he was right. Look around you the next time you are near a school or an old people's reservation if you wish a demonstration.

School as it was built is an essential support system for a vision of social engineering that condemns most people to be subordinate stones in a pyramid that narrows as it ascends to a terminal of control. School is an artifice which makes such a pyramidical social order seem inevitable, although such a premise is a fundamental betrayal of the American Revolution. From colonial days through the period of the Republic we had no schools to speak of -- read Benjamin Franklin's Autobiography for an example of a man who had no time to waste in school -- and yet the promise of Democracy was beginning to be realized. We turned our backs on this promise by bringing to life the ancient pharaonic dream of Egypt: compulsory subordination for all. That was the secret Plato reluctantly transmitted in The Republic when Glaucon and Adeimantus exhorted from Socrates the plan for total state control of human life, a plan necessary to maintain a society where some people take more than their share. "I will show you," says Socrates, "how to bring about such a feverish city, but you will not like what I am going to say." And so the blueprint of the seven-lesson school was first sketched.

The current debate about whether we should have a national curriculum is phony. We already have a national curriculum locked up in the seven lessons I have just outlined. Such a curriculum produces physical, moral, and intellectual paralysis, and no curriculum of content will be sufficient to reverse its hideous effects. What is currently under discussion in our national school hysteria about failing academic performance misses the point. Schools teach exactly what they are intended to teach and they do it well: how to be a good Egyptian and remain in your place in the pyramid.

III

None of this is inevitable. None of it is impossible to overthrow. We do have choices in how we bring up young people; there is no one right way. If we broke through the power of the pyramidical illusion we would see that. There is no life-and-death international competition threatening our national existence, difficult as that idea is even to think about, let alone believe, in the face of a continual media barrage of myth to the contrary. In every important material respect our nation is self-sufficient, including in energy. I realize that idea runs counter to the most fashionable thinking of political economists, but the "profound transformation" of our economy these people talk about is neither inevitable nor irreversible. Global economics does not speak to the public need for meaningful work, affordable housing, fulfilling education, adequate medical care, a clean environment, honest and accountable government, social and cultural renewal, or simple justice. All global ambitions are based on a definition of productivity and the good life so alienated from common human reality I am convinced it is wrong and that most people would agree with me if they could perceive an alternative. We might be able to see that if we regained a hold on a philosophy that locates meaning where meaning is genuinely to be found -- in families, in friends, in the passage of seasons, in nature, in simple ceremonies and rituals, in curiosity, generosity, compassion, and service to others, in a decent independence and privacy, in all the free and inexpensive things out of which real families, real friends and real communities are built -- then we would be so self-sufficient we would not even need the material "sufficiency" which our global "experts" are so insistent we be concerned about.

How did these awful places, these "schools", come about? Well, casual schooling has always been with us in a variety of forms, a mildly useful adjunct to growing up. But "modern schooling" as we know it is a by-product of the two "Red Scares" of 1848 and 1919, when powerful interests feared a revolution among our own industrial poor. Partly, too, total schooling came about because old-line American families were appauled by the native cultures of Celtic, Slavic, and Latin immigrants of the 1840s and felt repugnance towards the Catholic religion they brought with them. Certainly a third contributing factor in creating a jail for children called school must have been the consternation with which these same "Americans" regarded the movement of African-Americans through the society in the wake of the Civil War.

Look again at the seven lessons of schoolteaching: confusion, class position, indifference, emotional and intellectual dependency, conditional self-esteem, surveillance -- all of these things are prime training for permanent underclasses, people deprived forever of finding the center of their own special genius. And over time this training has shaken loose from its own original logic: to regulate the poor. For since the 1920s the growth of the school bureaucracy, and the less visible growth of a horde of industries that profit from schooling exactly as it is, has enlarged this institution's original grasp to the point that it now seizes the sons and daughters of the middle classes as well.

Is it any wonder Socrates was outraged at the accusation that he took money to teach? Even then, philosophers saw clearly the inevitable direction the professionalization of teaching would take, preempting the teaching function, which belongs to everyone in a healthy community.

With lessons like the ones I teach day after day it should be little wonder we have a real national crisis, the nature of which is very different from that proclaimed by the national media. Young people are indifferent to the adult world and to the future, indifferent to almost everything except the diversion of toys and violence. Rich or poor, schoolchildren who face the twenty-first century cannot concentrate on anything for very long; they have a poor sense of time past and time to come. They are mistrustful of intimacy like the children of divorce they really are (for we have divorced them from significant parental attention); they hate solitude, are cruel, materialistic, dependent, passive, violent, timid in the face of the unexpected, addicted to distraction.

All the peripheral tendencies of childhood are nourished and magnified to a grotesque extent by schooling, which, through its hidden curriculum, prevents effective personality development. Indeed, without exploiting the fearfulness, selfishness, and inexperience of children, our schools could not survive at all, nor could I as a certified schoolteacher. No common school that actually dared to teach the use of critical thinking tools -- like the dialectic, the heuristic, or other devices that free minds should employ -- would last very long before being torn to pieces. School has become the replacement for church in our secular society, and like church it requires that its teachings must be taken on faith.

It is time that we squarely face the fact that institutional schoolteaching is destructive to children. Nobody survives the seven-lesson curriculum completely unscathed, not even the instructors. The method is deeply and profoundly anti-educational. No tinkering will fix it. In one of the great ironies of human affairs, the massive rethinking the schools require would cost so much less than we are spending now that powerful interests cannot afford to let it happen. You must understand that first and foremost the business I am in is a jobs project and an agency for letting contracts. We cannot afford to save money by reducing the scope of our operation or by diversifying the product we offer, even to help children grow up right. That is the iron law of institutional schooling -- it is a business, subject neither to normal accounting procedures nor to the rational scalpel of competition.

Some form of free-market system in public schooling is the likeliest place to look for answers, a free market where family schools and small entrepreneurial schools and religious schools and crafts schools and farm schools exist in profusion to compete with government education. I'm trying to describe a free market in schooling just exactly like the one the country had until the Civil War, one in which students volunteer for the kind of education that suits them, even if that means self-education; it didn't hurt Benjamin Franklin that I can see. These options exist now in miniature, wonderful survivals of a strong and vigorous past, but they are available only to the resourceful, the courageous, the lucky, or the rich. The near impossibility of one of these better roads opening for the shattered families of the poor or for the bewildered host camped on the fringes of the urban middle class suggests that the disaster of seven-lesson schools is going to grow unless we do something bold and decisive with the mess of government monopoly schooling.

After an adult lifetime spent teaching school, I believe the method of mass-schooling is its only real content. Don't be fooled into thinking that good curriculum or good equipment or good teachers are the critical determinants of your son's or daughter's education. All the pathologies we've considered come about in large measure because the lessons of school prevent children from keeping important appointments with themselves and with their families to learn lessons in self-motivation, perseverance, self-reliance, courage, dignity, and love -- and lessons in service to others, too, which are among the key lessons of home and community life.

Thirty years ago [in the early 60s] these things could still be learned in the time left after school. But television has eaten up most of that time, and a combination of television and the stresses peculiar to two-income or single-parent families have swallowed up most of what used to be family time as well. Our kids have no time left to grow up fully human and only thin-soil wastelands to do it in.

A future is rushing down upon our culture which will insist all of us learn the wisdom of non-material experience; a future which will demand as the price of survival that we follow a path of natural life economical in material cost. These lessons cannot be learned in schools as they are. School is a twelve-year jail sentence where bad habits are the only curriculum truly learned.

Adapted an essay by John Taylor Gatto - 1991 New York State Teacher of the Year