If you think about it, although school is very important, it does not really take up very much of a child's time. In the United States, the school year averages 180 days; in other nations, the school year can last up to 240 days and students are often in school more hours per day than American students. Clearly, the hours and days that a child is not in school are important for learning, too. Here are some things that you can do to help your child to make the most of that time:
Childlike drawing of a child and a mother in a livingroom setting pointing at a bookcase.
Encourage Your Child to Read
Helping your child become a reader is the single most important thing that you can do to help the child to succeed in school—and in life. The importance of reading simply can't be overstated. Reading helps children in all school subjects. More important, it is the key to lifelong learning. Here are some tips on how to help your child become a reader.
* Start early. When your child is still a baby, reading aloud to him should become part of your daily routine. At first, read for no more than a few minutes at a time, several times a day. As your child grows older, you should be able to tell if he wants you to read for longer periods. As you read, talk with your child. Encourage him to ask questions and to talk about the story. Ask him to predict what will come next. When your child begins to read, ask him to read to you from books or magazines that he enjoys.
* Make sure that your home has lots of reading materials that are appropriate for your child. Keep books, magazines and newspapers in the house. Reading materials don't have to be new or expensive. You often can find good books and magazines for your child at yard or library sales. Ask family members and friends to consider giving your child books and magazine subscriptions as gifts for birthdays or other special occasions. Set aside quiet time for family reading. Some families even enjoy reading aloud to each other, with each family member choosing a book, story, poem or article to read to the others.
* Show that you value reading. Let your child see you reading for pleasure as well as for performing your routine activities as an adult—reading letters and recipes, directions and instructions, newspapers, computer screens and so forth. Go with her to the library and check out books for yourself. When your child sees that reading is important to you, she is likely to decide that it's important to her, too.
If you feel uncomfortable with your own reading ability or if you would like reading help for yourself or other family members, check with your local librarian or with your child's school about literacy programs in your community.
* Get help for your child if he has a reading problem. When a child is having reading difficulties, the reason might be simple to understand and deal with. For example, your child might have trouble seeing and need glasses or he may just need more help with reading skills. If you think that your child needs extra help, ask his teachers about special services, such as after—school or summer reading programs. Also ask teachers or your local librarian for names of community organizations and local literacy volunteer groups that offer tutoring services.
The good news is that no matter how long it takes, most children can learn to read. Parents, teachers and other professionals can work together to determine if a child has a learning disability or other problem and then provide the right help as soon as possible. When a child gets such help, chances are very good that she will develop the skills she needs to succeed in school and in life. Nothing is more important than your support for your child as she goes through school. Make sure she gets any extra help she needs as soon as possible and always encourage her and praise her efforts.
Talk with Your Child
Talking and listening play major roles in children's school success. It's through hearing parents and family members talk and through responding to that talk that young children begin to pick up the language skills they will need if they are to do well. For example, children who don't hear a lot of talk and who aren't encouraged to talk themselves often have problems learning to read, which can lead to other school problems. In addition, children who haven't learned to listen carefully often have trouble following directions and paying attention in class.
Think of talking with your child as being like a tennis game with words—instead of a ball—bouncing back and forth. Find time to talk any place, for example:
* As you walk with your child or ride with her in a car or on a bus, talk with her about what she's doing at school Ask her to tell you about a school assembly or a field trip. Point out and talk about things that you see as you walk—funny signs, new cars, interesting people.
* As you shop in a store, talk with your child about prices, differences in brands and how to pick out good vegetables and fruit. Give your child directions about where to find certain items, then have him go get them.
* As you fix dinner, ask your child to help you follow the steps in a recipe. Talk with him about what can happen if you miss a step or leave out an ingredient.
* As you fix a sink or repair a broken table, ask your child to hand you the tools that you name. Talk with her about each step you take to complete the repair. Tell her what you're doing and why you're doing it. Ask her for suggestions about how you should do something.
* As you watch TV together, talk with your child about the programs. If you're watching one of her favorite programs, encourage her to tell you about the background of the characters, which ones she likes and dislikes and who the actors are. Compare the program to a program that you liked when you were her age.
* As you read a book with your child, pause occasionally to talk to him about what's happening in the book. Help him to relate the events in the book to events in his life: "Look at that tall building! Didn't we see that when we were in Chicago?" Ask him to tell in his own words what the book was about. Ask him about new words in a book and help him to figure out what they mean.
It's also important for you to show your child that you're interested in what he has to say. Demonstrate for him how to be a good listener:
* When your child talks to you, stop what you're doing and pay attention. Look at him and ask questions to let him know that you've heard what he said: "So when are you going to help your granddad work on his car?"
* When your child tells you about something, occasionally repeat what he says to let him know that you're listening closely: "The school bus broke down twice!"
Monitor Homework
Let your child know that you think education is important and so homework has to be done. Here are some ways to help your child with homework:
* Have a special place for your child to study. The homework area doesn't have to be fancy. A desk in the bedroom is nice, but for many children, the kitchen table or a corner of the living room works just fine. The area should have good lighting and it should be fairly quiet. Provide supplies and identify resources. For starters, have available pencils, pens, erasers, writing paper and a dictionary. Other supplies that might be helpful include a stapler, paper clips, maps, a calculator, a pencil sharpener, tape, glue, paste, scissors, a ruler, a calculator, index cards, a thesaurus and an almanac. If possible, keep these items together in one place. If you can't provide your child with needed supplies, check with her teacher, school counselor or principal about possible sources of assistance.
* Set a regular time for homework. Having a regular time to do homework helps children to finish assignments. Of course, a good schedule depends in part on your child's age, as well as her specific needs. You'll need to work with a young child to develop a schedule. You should give your older child the responsibility for making up a schedule independently—although you'll want to make sure that it's a workable one. You may find it helpful to have her write out her schedule and put it in a place where you'll see it often, such as on the refrigerator.
* Remove distractions. Turn off the TV and discourage your child from making and receiving social telephone calls during homework time. (A call to a classmate about an assignment, however, may be helpful.) If you live in a small or noisy household, try having all family members take part in a quiet activity during homework time. You may need to take a noisy toddler outside or into another room to play. If distractions can't be avoided, your child may want to complete assignments in the local library.
* Don't expect or demand perfection. When your child asks you to look at what she's done—from skating a figure 8 to finishing a math assignment—show interest and praise her when she's done something well. If you have criticisms or suggestions, make them in a helpful way.
One final note: You may be reluctant to help your child with homework because you feel that you don't know the subject well enough or because you don't speak or read English as well as your child. But helping with homework doesn't mean doing the homework. It isn't about solving the problems for your child, it's about supporting him to do his best. You may not know enough about a subject such as calculus to help your child with a specific assignment, but you can help nonetheless by showing that you are interested, helping him get organized, providing a place the materials he needs to work, monitoring his work to see that he completes it and praising his efforts.
If distractions can't be avoided, your child may want to complete assignments in the local library.
Monitor TV Viewing and Video Game Playing
American children on average spend far more time watching TV or playing video games than they do completing homework or other school-related activities. Here are some suggestions for helping your child to use TV and video games wisely:
* Limit the time that you let your child watch TV. Too much television cuts into important activities in a child's life, such as reading, playing with friends and talking with family members.
* Model good TV viewing habits. Remember that children often imitate their parents' behavior. Children who live in homes in which parents and other family members watch a lot of TV are likely to spend their time in the same way. Children who live in homes in which parents and other family members have "quiet" time away from the TV when they read (either alone to each other), talk to each other, play games or engage in other activities tend to do the same.
* Watch TV with your child when you can. Talk with him about what you see. Answer his questions. Try to point out the things in TV programs that are like your child's everyday life.
* When you can't watch TV with your child, spot check to see what she's watching. Ask questions after the program ends. See what excites her and what troubles her. Find out what she has learned and remembered.
* Go to the library and find books that explore the themes of the TV shows that your child watches.
* Limit the amount of time your child spends playing video games. As with TV programs, be aware of the games he likes to play and discuss his choices with him.
Encourage Your Child to Use the Library
Libraries are places of learning and discovery for everyone. Helping your child find out about libraries will set him on the road to being an independent learner. Here are some suggestions for how to help:
* Introduce your child to the library as early as possible. Even when your child is a toddler, take him along on weekly trips to the library. If you work during the day or have other obligations, remember that many libraries are open in the evening.
* If your child can print his name, it is likely that your library will issue him a library card if you will also sign for him. See that your child gets his own library card as soon as possible so that he can check out his own books.
* When you take your child to the library, introduce yourself and your child to the librarian. Ask the librarian to show you around the library and tell you about the services it has to offer. For example, in addition to all kinds of books, your library most likely will have magazines of interest to both your child and to you. It will likely have newspapers from many different places. Most libraries also have tapes and CDs of books, music CDs and tapes, movies on video and on DVD and many more resources. Your library also might have books in languages other than English or programs to help adults improve their English reading skills.
Ask the librarian to tell your child about special programs that he might participate in, such as summer reading programs and book clubs and about services such as homework help.
Your child needs to learn how long she can keep materials and what the fine will be for materials that are returned late.
* Let your child know that she must follow the library's rules of behavior. Libraries want children to use their materials and services. However, they generally have rules such as the following that your child needs to know and obey:
o Library materials must be handled carefully.
o Materials that are borrowed must be returned on time. Your child needs to learn how long she can keep materials and what the fine will be for materials that are returned late.
o All library users need to be considerate of each other. Shouting, running and being disruptive are not appropriate library behaviors.
Help Your Child Learn to Use the Internet Properly and Effectively
The Internet/World Wide WEB—a network of computers that connects people and information all around the world—has become an important part of how we learn and of how we interact with others. For children to succeed today, they must be able to use the Internet. Here are some suggestions for helping your child learn to do so properly and effectively:
* Spend time online with your child. If you don't have a computer at home, ask your librarian if the library has computers that you and your child may use. Learn along with your child. If you're not familiar with computers or with the Internet, ask the librarian if and when someone is available at the library to help you and your child learn together to use them. If your child knows about computers, let her teach you. Ask her to explain what she is doing and why. Ask her to show you her favorite Web sites and to tell you what she likes about them. This will help her build self-confidence and pride in her abilities.
* Help your child to locate appropriate Internet Web sites. At the same time, make sure that she understands what you think are appropriate Web sites for her to visit. Point her in the direction of sites that can help her with homework or that relate to her interests.
Pay attention to any games she might download or copy from the Internet. Some games are violent or contain sexual or other content that is inappropriate for children. Resources such as GetNetWise (http://www.getnetwise.org/), a public service provided by Internet corporations and public interest groups and FamiliesConnect (http://www.ala.org/ICONN/familiesconnect.html), a service of the American Library Association, can help you to make good Web site choices and give you more information about Internet use.
You might consider using "filters" to block your child from accessing sites that may be inappropriate. These filters include software programs that you can install on your computer. In addition, many Internet service providers offer filters (often for free) that restrict the sites that children can visit. Of course, these filters are not always completely effective—and children can find ways around them. The best safeguard is your supervision and involvement.
* Monitor the amount of time that your child spends online. Internet surfing can be just as time consuming as watching TV. Don't let it take over your child's life. Have her place a clock near the computer and keep track of how much time she is spending online. Remember, many commercial online services charge for the amount of time the service is used. These charges can mount up quickly!
* Teach your child rules for using the Internet safely. Let him know that he should never do the following:
o tell anyone—including his friends—his computer password;
o use bad language or send cruel, threatening or untrue e-mail messages;
o give out any personal information, including his name or the names of family members, home address, phone number, age, school name; or
o arrange to meet a stranger that he has "talked" with in an online "chat room."
For more information about helping your child use the Internet, see the following publications, listed in the Resources section: The Librarian's Guide to Cyberspace for Parents and Kids, American Library Association; The Parents' Guide to the Information Superhighway, Children's Partnership.
Encourage Your Child to Be Responsible and to Work Independently
Taking responsibility and working independently are important qualities for school success. Here are some suggestions for helping your child to develop these qualities:
* Establish rules. Every home needs reasonable rules that children know and can depend on. Have your child help you to set rules, then make sure that you enforce the rules consistently.
* Make it clear to your child that he has to take responsibility for what he does, both at home and at school. For example, don't automatically defend your child if his teacher tells you that he is often late to class or is disruptive when he is in class. Ask for his side of the story. If a charge is true, let him take the consequences.
* Work with your child to develop a reasonable, consistent schedule of jobs to do around the house. List them on a calendar. Younger children can help set the table or put away their toys and clothes. Older children can help prepare meals and clean up afterwards.
* Show your child how to break a job down into small steps, then to do the job one step at a time. This works for everything—getting dressed, cleaning a room or doing a big homework assignment.
* Make your child responsible for getting ready to go to school each morning—getting up on time, making sure that he has everything he needs for the school day and so forth. If necessary, make a checklist to help him remember what he has to do.
* Monitor what your child does after school, in the evenings and on weekends. If you can't be there when your child gets home, give her the responsibility of checking in with you by phone to discuss her plans.
Encourage Active Learning
Children need active learning as well as quiet learning such as reading and doing homework. Active learning involves asking and answering questions, solving problems and exploring interests. Active learning also can take place when your child plays sports, spends time with friends, acts in a school play, plays a musical instrument or visits museums and bookstores.
To promote active learning, listen to your child's ideas and respond to them. Let him jump in with questions and opinions when you read books together. When you encourage this type of give-and-take at home, your child's participation and interest in school is likely to increase.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
2 + 2 = 5
If it was your son, would you care?
Have you looked into his eyes? My son's, I mean. The one who is having so much trouble in your math class.
I have. When I help him at night, I see the frustration in his eyes when he can't understand. I see him search my face, fearful of my disappointment, my criticism when he gets the problem wrong after I've explained it so many times.
I see in his eyes the desire to give up. Around his lips I see the sadness and creeping despair.
I watch the tension in his forehead as he tries so hard to understand. I watch his fingers turn white as he grips his pencil tight with the hope that this time -- this time -- the pencil won't betray him and will write the answers correctly on the page.
Do you look at him in the classroom when you teach him? Do you look in his eyes and see how the disappointment and frustration threaten to reach into his soul? To break his heart? Can you see his failure harden into the foundation of his character?
I ask you: Do you see how hard he tries? How much he wants to please? How his self-esteem is crumbling each time he can't remember seven times eight equals fifty six? He knows more painfully than you that he's tried to learn this five hundred and sixty times and still forgets.
I see how hard he tries. I see it all. When I sit with him at night I can barely continue with our homework session as I watch his freckled face struggle to remember four times six equals twenty-four and my heart breaks into as many pieces.
And so we try to joke and laugh. I tell him that people learn at different speeds and different times. I tell him about his older brother who didn't learn to read till he was eight and then, when it was his time, he learned to read in only three months and went straight to the top of his class that year.
I tell him that some babies get toilet trained at one year, and some at two, and some not till three or four but that you're not likely to see a sixteen-year-old in diapers. And he laughs. I see his eyes brighten a little. His forehead relax. And as he lets go of his tension he seems to focus more, to remember better.
But still it is not enough. And I find myself hating the multiplication tables for hurting my son. Division has become my enemy. Sixty four divided by eight is simply more than I can tolerate. Eighty one divided by nine is more than any nine-year-old should have to deal with.
And I sometimes blame you. Do you teach him well enough? Sometimes I'm angry that you've criticized and made him feel bad. But then I think that you are simply there to blame while I'm feeling so bad for my sweet little boy.
Do you know how sweet he is? My son.
Last night, we fought until he finally sat to do his math. Then we sat for an hour and a half going over three times three equals nine, nine divided by three is three. We put kidney beans on the table and made them into students in a class, candies for each student, shekels for the store, all the things that can be divided and multiplied, estimated and rounded. Sometimes we used a calculator, anything to help him see the numbers again and again. Finally his eyes turned red, his eyelids drooped and he said: "Ta, I'm too tired. Can I go to bed now?"
Dressed in his pajamas he came to kiss me good night. "Y'know Ta", he said, "I hate when I have to stop playing to do homework with you. But then, when we do it, I like it so much I don't want to stop."
Do you know how much my heart jumped with these words, how hard I prayed last night that you will give him a good grade on his math test this morning?
To tell you the truth I don't care if he does the problem right or wrong. It wouldn't bother me at all if just for today seven times eight equaled fifty-four or fifty-two or fifty-six or forty-eight. As far as I'm concerned two plus two doesn't have to equal four if it means that my son will feel good about himself, if he'll want to continue trying, if he'll begin to think of himself as smart and courageous and capable.
Is five plus five really ten? Could it not be twelve just once for the sake of my boy? For the sake of his well-being? Does math care if it is done correctly, or is it only you? Would the numbers take offense, or is it only your rigidity that forces five to be the impossible answer to two times two? Are these numbers worth a life? A future?
Do you ask yourself these questions when you grade his test?
If you looked in his eyes you would? If you loved him you would?
Because, you see, love is strong enough to allow five times zero to be five instead of zero just this once.
If it was your son, would you care?
I don't ask you to love my son as I do. Nor that you grade his papers unfairly. I want him to do his math correctly and to understand the importance of exactitude in all things and ways.
Only please, look into his eyes. While the numbers may not change, the way you teach him might. Though his answers may be flawed, you'll see that his heart is not. Though it may take time for him to learn, you'll see how very hard he tries. And when you grade him -- do it in such a way that only the numbers are judged and not the boy. Five plus five may always be ten, four times four is always sixteen, but just make sure that whatever he writes, my boy does not add up to zero in your eyes or his.
Have you looked into his eyes? My son's, I mean. The one who is having so much trouble in your math class.
I have. When I help him at night, I see the frustration in his eyes when he can't understand. I see him search my face, fearful of my disappointment, my criticism when he gets the problem wrong after I've explained it so many times.
I see in his eyes the desire to give up. Around his lips I see the sadness and creeping despair.
I watch the tension in his forehead as he tries so hard to understand. I watch his fingers turn white as he grips his pencil tight with the hope that this time -- this time -- the pencil won't betray him and will write the answers correctly on the page.
Do you look at him in the classroom when you teach him? Do you look in his eyes and see how the disappointment and frustration threaten to reach into his soul? To break his heart? Can you see his failure harden into the foundation of his character?
I ask you: Do you see how hard he tries? How much he wants to please? How his self-esteem is crumbling each time he can't remember seven times eight equals fifty six? He knows more painfully than you that he's tried to learn this five hundred and sixty times and still forgets.
I see how hard he tries. I see it all. When I sit with him at night I can barely continue with our homework session as I watch his freckled face struggle to remember four times six equals twenty-four and my heart breaks into as many pieces.
And so we try to joke and laugh. I tell him that people learn at different speeds and different times. I tell him about his older brother who didn't learn to read till he was eight and then, when it was his time, he learned to read in only three months and went straight to the top of his class that year.
I tell him that some babies get toilet trained at one year, and some at two, and some not till three or four but that you're not likely to see a sixteen-year-old in diapers. And he laughs. I see his eyes brighten a little. His forehead relax. And as he lets go of his tension he seems to focus more, to remember better.
But still it is not enough. And I find myself hating the multiplication tables for hurting my son. Division has become my enemy. Sixty four divided by eight is simply more than I can tolerate. Eighty one divided by nine is more than any nine-year-old should have to deal with.
And I sometimes blame you. Do you teach him well enough? Sometimes I'm angry that you've criticized and made him feel bad. But then I think that you are simply there to blame while I'm feeling so bad for my sweet little boy.
Do you know how sweet he is? My son.
Last night, we fought until he finally sat to do his math. Then we sat for an hour and a half going over three times three equals nine, nine divided by three is three. We put kidney beans on the table and made them into students in a class, candies for each student, shekels for the store, all the things that can be divided and multiplied, estimated and rounded. Sometimes we used a calculator, anything to help him see the numbers again and again. Finally his eyes turned red, his eyelids drooped and he said: "Ta, I'm too tired. Can I go to bed now?"
Dressed in his pajamas he came to kiss me good night. "Y'know Ta", he said, "I hate when I have to stop playing to do homework with you. But then, when we do it, I like it so much I don't want to stop."
Do you know how much my heart jumped with these words, how hard I prayed last night that you will give him a good grade on his math test this morning?
To tell you the truth I don't care if he does the problem right or wrong. It wouldn't bother me at all if just for today seven times eight equaled fifty-four or fifty-two or fifty-six or forty-eight. As far as I'm concerned two plus two doesn't have to equal four if it means that my son will feel good about himself, if he'll want to continue trying, if he'll begin to think of himself as smart and courageous and capable.
Is five plus five really ten? Could it not be twelve just once for the sake of my boy? For the sake of his well-being? Does math care if it is done correctly, or is it only you? Would the numbers take offense, or is it only your rigidity that forces five to be the impossible answer to two times two? Are these numbers worth a life? A future?
Do you ask yourself these questions when you grade his test?
If you looked in his eyes you would? If you loved him you would?
Because, you see, love is strong enough to allow five times zero to be five instead of zero just this once.
If it was your son, would you care?
I don't ask you to love my son as I do. Nor that you grade his papers unfairly. I want him to do his math correctly and to understand the importance of exactitude in all things and ways.
Only please, look into his eyes. While the numbers may not change, the way you teach him might. Though his answers may be flawed, you'll see that his heart is not. Though it may take time for him to learn, you'll see how very hard he tries. And when you grade him -- do it in such a way that only the numbers are judged and not the boy. Five plus five may always be ten, four times four is always sixteen, but just make sure that whatever he writes, my boy does not add up to zero in your eyes or his.
Friday, December 19, 2008
STOPPING SCHOOL VIOLENCE
Forty years ago the biggest problems in the lives of teachers and students in our school systems were things such as: gum chewing, forgetting a pencil, and excessive talking. Today, teachers and students only wish their problems were so trivial. The mention of towns like Jonesboro, Columbine, and Santee cause these same teachers and students to cringe and learn in fear. Why do our children learn in fear as apposed to forty years ago? The answer isn't always a simple one to pin point.
Parents, students, school faculty, and even politicians have different opinions as to why our children bring guns/weapons to school to solve conflicts. Many Americans feel that if children had better parental supervision in the home then they would be less likely to lash out at their peers. School educators believe that bad parenting and the family that is uninvolved with the school and/or their own child's education is to blame. Still, other opinions point to environment and a child's exposure to violence through the mass media. Politicians tend to voice these same opinions, however, they also try to help find solutions to the problem.
Learning to understand our children and their needs is the first step in obtaining a solution to violence in school. A child that behaves violently, more often than not, has been a victim of physical violence themselves. Children learn by watching adults and how they behave in society. When an adult acts physically to solve a problem, children see that violent act and take away the message that it is okay to be abusive in order to get what they want. This is a behavior that most parents do not want to echo throughout the life of their child. Therefore, instead of teaching our children about hitting/attacking, we should teach them skills that will cause healing, compromise, and resolution.
Once a child feels isolated by their society, friends, and/or family, he or she will begin to show signs of being neglected by lashing out verbally, emotionally, or physically toward others. Many psychologists see this strictly as a behavioral problem caused by a child wanting adult attention. The child does not care whether or not that attention is bad or good as long as the feelings of neglect and isolation are remedied. If a child continually lashes out and is never given the attention they long for soon they will go into survival mode. Survival mode is when a child has feelings of rejection that births a deep anger within themselves that gives them a reprobate mind set. Their conscious is severed from their rational thought process and they begin to have feelings of not caring whom they harm.
The misguidedness of adult role models in a child's life is also a contributing factor in a violent child's life. A child can become confused as to the difference between wrong and right when they see other adults handle the same situation in different manners. An example of this is when child may see their own parent exhibiting signs of road rage. Their parent is yelling and threatening at other drivers in a high traffic area. However, the driver next to them seems unaffected by other drivers. Yet, even another driver impatiently maneuvers their vehicle almost causing a wreck. Whose behavior will the child later echo? Most likely, it will be the parent's example that the child will follow in the future. Children are victims and products of their environment, therefore, they must be taught responsibility and right and wrong not only at home but in society. How can a parent do this? Simple, talk to your kids frequently, and watch their behavior. If it needs modification, you will know and can solve the problem as soon as it begins.
The lack of supervision at home and school results in a child feeling they have more freedom to misbehave. It is impossible for a child to have supervision 24 hours a day. However, it is important that you give your child your time, understanding and love. They need these things in order to survive and grow up to be mentally healthy adults. It is a misconception that children that come from impoverished families are the most likely ones to be the violent offenders in school. It is true that many low income families do struggle daily to meet their necessary living needs and that this struggle does produce stress in the household. In this type of living situation an impoverished children can begin to feel neglected by their parents that work too long or too hard. However, in upper class homes where the parent indulges every material whim of the child can be just as harmful. Many times this child will feel that they should always get what they want and will lash out physically if things don't go their way. Middle class families are no exception to violence either. The very fact that most middle class families are two income families means that a middle class parent has less time to spend with their children resulting in neglect. That neglect can lead to the middle class child acting out to get attention. Parents need to offer their children strong, positive guidance, discipline and leave time for nurturing.
While it may appear that most violent acts in school most frequently occur from male students, the violent acts from female students is rapidly on the rise. Therefore, it is safe to assume that these violent acts are not gender oriented. A child's behavior is not always determined by what sex they are. Students have deducted that there are four reasons for most violent acts in school. First, they agree with society's opinion that violent children have poor parental supervision. Secondly, they believe that influence or peer pressure from friends, groups, memberships, and/or gangs is a strong instigator to violent acts made by students. Thirdly, they consider the effects that drugs and alcohol has on their lives and believe it too could be a contributing factor. Lastly, students reveal that many violent acts are race or religion motivated.
School violence is usually targeted toward students between the sixth and tenth grades. However, a minority in this grouping is more likely to be physically assaulted than any other of their peers. Teachers are also victims of school violence and tend to feel less safe out of the shadow of the education system and in their own homes. Our children have placed fear into our schools and because of this fear the quality of education has been affected. Inadequate education leaves students frustrated, which can lead to delinquency, antisocial behavior, and criminal acts. These three side effects will eventually lead to physical violence.
So what can be done to prevent your child from becoming violent in school? Parents should make time to help their child develop into a productive member of society. Talking with your children is a good start. Answer their questions as honestly as you can. Teach them clearly the difference between right and wrong and give them good problem solving skills. A parent's example can say more to a child that a thousand conversations so let your actions speak louder than your words. Home is the best place to give your child morals and ethics that they will later take with them into their school environment.
Schools have taken on the challenge of solving the problem of violence in school. Solutions that not only make all children safe in their teaching environment but also make them better citizens within the community. Extremely violent students are sent to boot camps, shock incarceration programs, or they perform community service. Education institutions have become aware of the increased availability of weapons in school and because of this they randomly check backpacks and lockers. Many schools have guards and metal detectors at their front doors. Schools add to this security by putting up fences and blocking access to roads. Also, they have begun to lock and chain doors that should not be accessed by students. Teachers and parents visiting as teacher's aides, help to monitor students for discipline problems. New dress codes and discipline codes have been established to make school a less controversial environment. School counselors are on site to talk with students and help them resolve their problems. Many schools have instituted Conflict Resolution Programs within their system. A Conflict Resolution Program is a program that can defuse potentially violent situations and offers alternative nonviolent means to resolve students' differences. Crisis Centers within the school is also a place where teachers can send students to cool off when they become angry and to get counseling for that anger. Ideas such as these can help students feel safer within their own environment.
Remedies to prevent school violence are growing everyday. Our children should be safe in their learning environment and not live in fear that one of their classmates will assault them or even kill them. If the problem of school violence is not solved eventually these violent students will become tomorrow's citizens. Citizens that don't know right from wrong, who do not care whom they harm, and who must get attention or their way the fastest way they know how. This is not how we view the future of the younger generation. Therefore, we must teach our children at a young age right and wrong, problem solving, and also show them the right way to live by our own examples of the lives we lead before them. It is up to all of us (parents, students, school faculty, and government) to give our children a brighter future and to show them a better way.
Parents, students, school faculty, and even politicians have different opinions as to why our children bring guns/weapons to school to solve conflicts. Many Americans feel that if children had better parental supervision in the home then they would be less likely to lash out at their peers. School educators believe that bad parenting and the family that is uninvolved with the school and/or their own child's education is to blame. Still, other opinions point to environment and a child's exposure to violence through the mass media. Politicians tend to voice these same opinions, however, they also try to help find solutions to the problem.
Learning to understand our children and their needs is the first step in obtaining a solution to violence in school. A child that behaves violently, more often than not, has been a victim of physical violence themselves. Children learn by watching adults and how they behave in society. When an adult acts physically to solve a problem, children see that violent act and take away the message that it is okay to be abusive in order to get what they want. This is a behavior that most parents do not want to echo throughout the life of their child. Therefore, instead of teaching our children about hitting/attacking, we should teach them skills that will cause healing, compromise, and resolution.
Once a child feels isolated by their society, friends, and/or family, he or she will begin to show signs of being neglected by lashing out verbally, emotionally, or physically toward others. Many psychologists see this strictly as a behavioral problem caused by a child wanting adult attention. The child does not care whether or not that attention is bad or good as long as the feelings of neglect and isolation are remedied. If a child continually lashes out and is never given the attention they long for soon they will go into survival mode. Survival mode is when a child has feelings of rejection that births a deep anger within themselves that gives them a reprobate mind set. Their conscious is severed from their rational thought process and they begin to have feelings of not caring whom they harm.
The misguidedness of adult role models in a child's life is also a contributing factor in a violent child's life. A child can become confused as to the difference between wrong and right when they see other adults handle the same situation in different manners. An example of this is when child may see their own parent exhibiting signs of road rage. Their parent is yelling and threatening at other drivers in a high traffic area. However, the driver next to them seems unaffected by other drivers. Yet, even another driver impatiently maneuvers their vehicle almost causing a wreck. Whose behavior will the child later echo? Most likely, it will be the parent's example that the child will follow in the future. Children are victims and products of their environment, therefore, they must be taught responsibility and right and wrong not only at home but in society. How can a parent do this? Simple, talk to your kids frequently, and watch their behavior. If it needs modification, you will know and can solve the problem as soon as it begins.
The lack of supervision at home and school results in a child feeling they have more freedom to misbehave. It is impossible for a child to have supervision 24 hours a day. However, it is important that you give your child your time, understanding and love. They need these things in order to survive and grow up to be mentally healthy adults. It is a misconception that children that come from impoverished families are the most likely ones to be the violent offenders in school. It is true that many low income families do struggle daily to meet their necessary living needs and that this struggle does produce stress in the household. In this type of living situation an impoverished children can begin to feel neglected by their parents that work too long or too hard. However, in upper class homes where the parent indulges every material whim of the child can be just as harmful. Many times this child will feel that they should always get what they want and will lash out physically if things don't go their way. Middle class families are no exception to violence either. The very fact that most middle class families are two income families means that a middle class parent has less time to spend with their children resulting in neglect. That neglect can lead to the middle class child acting out to get attention. Parents need to offer their children strong, positive guidance, discipline and leave time for nurturing.
While it may appear that most violent acts in school most frequently occur from male students, the violent acts from female students is rapidly on the rise. Therefore, it is safe to assume that these violent acts are not gender oriented. A child's behavior is not always determined by what sex they are. Students have deducted that there are four reasons for most violent acts in school. First, they agree with society's opinion that violent children have poor parental supervision. Secondly, they believe that influence or peer pressure from friends, groups, memberships, and/or gangs is a strong instigator to violent acts made by students. Thirdly, they consider the effects that drugs and alcohol has on their lives and believe it too could be a contributing factor. Lastly, students reveal that many violent acts are race or religion motivated.
School violence is usually targeted toward students between the sixth and tenth grades. However, a minority in this grouping is more likely to be physically assaulted than any other of their peers. Teachers are also victims of school violence and tend to feel less safe out of the shadow of the education system and in their own homes. Our children have placed fear into our schools and because of this fear the quality of education has been affected. Inadequate education leaves students frustrated, which can lead to delinquency, antisocial behavior, and criminal acts. These three side effects will eventually lead to physical violence.
So what can be done to prevent your child from becoming violent in school? Parents should make time to help their child develop into a productive member of society. Talking with your children is a good start. Answer their questions as honestly as you can. Teach them clearly the difference between right and wrong and give them good problem solving skills. A parent's example can say more to a child that a thousand conversations so let your actions speak louder than your words. Home is the best place to give your child morals and ethics that they will later take with them into their school environment.
Schools have taken on the challenge of solving the problem of violence in school. Solutions that not only make all children safe in their teaching environment but also make them better citizens within the community. Extremely violent students are sent to boot camps, shock incarceration programs, or they perform community service. Education institutions have become aware of the increased availability of weapons in school and because of this they randomly check backpacks and lockers. Many schools have guards and metal detectors at their front doors. Schools add to this security by putting up fences and blocking access to roads. Also, they have begun to lock and chain doors that should not be accessed by students. Teachers and parents visiting as teacher's aides, help to monitor students for discipline problems. New dress codes and discipline codes have been established to make school a less controversial environment. School counselors are on site to talk with students and help them resolve their problems. Many schools have instituted Conflict Resolution Programs within their system. A Conflict Resolution Program is a program that can defuse potentially violent situations and offers alternative nonviolent means to resolve students' differences. Crisis Centers within the school is also a place where teachers can send students to cool off when they become angry and to get counseling for that anger. Ideas such as these can help students feel safer within their own environment.
Remedies to prevent school violence are growing everyday. Our children should be safe in their learning environment and not live in fear that one of their classmates will assault them or even kill them. If the problem of school violence is not solved eventually these violent students will become tomorrow's citizens. Citizens that don't know right from wrong, who do not care whom they harm, and who must get attention or their way the fastest way they know how. This is not how we view the future of the younger generation. Therefore, we must teach our children at a young age right and wrong, problem solving, and also show them the right way to live by our own examples of the lives we lead before them. It is up to all of us (parents, students, school faculty, and government) to give our children a brighter future and to show them a better way.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
THE BIG SIX PROBLEM-SOLVING
Parents can play an important role in helping their children succeed in school, but they need an effective approach in order to do this well. The approach taken in the book, "Helping with Homework: A Parent's Guide to Information Problem-Solving," is based on the Big Six Skills problem-solving approach. The Big Six Skills apply to any problem or activity that requires a solution or result based on information. An abundance of information is available from many sources, and the Big Six can help parents effectively deal with that information to guide their youngsters through school assignments.
THE BIG SIX APPROACH
The Big Six approach has six components: task definition, information seeking strategies, location and access, use of information, synthesis, and evaluation.
1. Task Definition: In the task definition stage, students need to determine what is expected from the assignment.
2. Information Seeking Strategies: Once students know what's expected of them, they need to identify the resources they will need to solve the task as defined. This is information seeking.
3. Location & Access: Next, the students must find potentially useful resources. This is location and access--the implementation of the information seeking strategy.
4. Use of Information: Use of information requires the students to engage the information (e.g., read it) and decide how to use it (e.g., in text or in a footnote).
5. Synthesis: Synthesis requires the students to repackage the information to meet the requirements of the task as defined.
6. Evaluation: Finally, students need to evaluate their work on two levels before it is turned in to the teacher. Students need to know if their work will meet their teacher's expectations for quality and efficiency.
The Big Six steps may be applied in any order, but all steps must be completed.
PARENTS' ROLE AND STUDENTS' ROLE
The Big Six approach requires parents and students to assume different roles. The parent assumes the role of a "coach" and the child assumes the role of "thinker and doer." As a coach, the parent can use the Big Six Skills to guide the student through all the steps it takes to complete the assignment.
1. Parents can help by first asking their children to explain assignments in their own words. This is "task definition"--a logical first step.
2. Parents can also help by discussing possible sources of information. This is "information seeking strategies."
3. Parents can then help their children implement information seeking strategies by helping their children find useful resources. This is the Big Six step called "location and access." Location and access may have to be repeated during an assignment because some children may not identify everything they need right at the beginning. Parents can facilitate by brainstorming with their children alternate places where information might be available.
4. In the "use of information" stage, parents can discuss whether the information the child located is relevant and if so, help the child decide how to use it.
5. In the "synthesis" stage, parents can ask for a summary of the information in the child's own words, and ask whether the information meets the requirements identified in the "task definition" stage.
6. The end of any assignment is the final check--an evaluation of all the work that has been done. Parents can help their children with the "evaluation" stage by discussing whether the product answers the original question, whether it meets the teacher's expectations, and whether the project could have been done more efficiently.
As children work through each of the Big Six steps, they need to think about what they need to do, and then they need to find appropriate ways to do it. This is their role--"thinker and doer." Children should be encouraged to be as independent as possible, but they will often have difficulty beginning an assignment because they are confused about what is expected of them. Whatever the reason is for their inability to get started, students have the ultimate responsibility for getting their work done. When parents act as coaches, they can help their children assume this responsibility by engaging them in conversation about what is expected of them, and then by guiding them throughout the assignment using the Big Six Skills.
WHY ASSIGNMENTS?
Assignments provide students with an opportunity to review and practice new material, to correct errors in understanding and production, and to assess levels of mastery. Every assignment is an information problem that can be solved using the Big Six. For instance, the goal of many assignments is to have the students practice a skill taught in class. If a child is having a problem understanding an assignment, the parent may help by encouraging the child to explain what it is he or she does not understand. The parent can use information seeking strategies to help the child identify information sources by asking questions such as: "Is there another student in your class, who can help you understand how to do this?" or, "Did the teacher give any other examples?" The parent can help the child identify information sources and suggest ways to get them. For instance, the public television network may have a homework hotline, the public library may have study guides, or a neighborhood child may be in the same class.
TECHNOLOGY AND THE BIG SIX
The Big Six approach recognizes the benefits of technology in education because computers are tools that help organize information. Software programs do a variety of functions such as edit written work, check grammar and spelling, chart and graph quantities, and construct outlines. Computers can also help with time management, setting priorities, and evaluating efficiency.
Using the Internet, students can connect to many non-traditional sources of information and are not limited to information contained on library shelves. They can use e-mail to talk directly with specialists and experts who can add a personal dimension to an assignment.
THE BIG SIX APPROACH
The Big Six approach has six components: task definition, information seeking strategies, location and access, use of information, synthesis, and evaluation.
1. Task Definition: In the task definition stage, students need to determine what is expected from the assignment.
2. Information Seeking Strategies: Once students know what's expected of them, they need to identify the resources they will need to solve the task as defined. This is information seeking.
3. Location & Access: Next, the students must find potentially useful resources. This is location and access--the implementation of the information seeking strategy.
4. Use of Information: Use of information requires the students to engage the information (e.g., read it) and decide how to use it (e.g., in text or in a footnote).
5. Synthesis: Synthesis requires the students to repackage the information to meet the requirements of the task as defined.
6. Evaluation: Finally, students need to evaluate their work on two levels before it is turned in to the teacher. Students need to know if their work will meet their teacher's expectations for quality and efficiency.
The Big Six steps may be applied in any order, but all steps must be completed.
PARENTS' ROLE AND STUDENTS' ROLE
The Big Six approach requires parents and students to assume different roles. The parent assumes the role of a "coach" and the child assumes the role of "thinker and doer." As a coach, the parent can use the Big Six Skills to guide the student through all the steps it takes to complete the assignment.
1. Parents can help by first asking their children to explain assignments in their own words. This is "task definition"--a logical first step.
2. Parents can also help by discussing possible sources of information. This is "information seeking strategies."
3. Parents can then help their children implement information seeking strategies by helping their children find useful resources. This is the Big Six step called "location and access." Location and access may have to be repeated during an assignment because some children may not identify everything they need right at the beginning. Parents can facilitate by brainstorming with their children alternate places where information might be available.
4. In the "use of information" stage, parents can discuss whether the information the child located is relevant and if so, help the child decide how to use it.
5. In the "synthesis" stage, parents can ask for a summary of the information in the child's own words, and ask whether the information meets the requirements identified in the "task definition" stage.
6. The end of any assignment is the final check--an evaluation of all the work that has been done. Parents can help their children with the "evaluation" stage by discussing whether the product answers the original question, whether it meets the teacher's expectations, and whether the project could have been done more efficiently.
As children work through each of the Big Six steps, they need to think about what they need to do, and then they need to find appropriate ways to do it. This is their role--"thinker and doer." Children should be encouraged to be as independent as possible, but they will often have difficulty beginning an assignment because they are confused about what is expected of them. Whatever the reason is for their inability to get started, students have the ultimate responsibility for getting their work done. When parents act as coaches, they can help their children assume this responsibility by engaging them in conversation about what is expected of them, and then by guiding them throughout the assignment using the Big Six Skills.
WHY ASSIGNMENTS?
Assignments provide students with an opportunity to review and practice new material, to correct errors in understanding and production, and to assess levels of mastery. Every assignment is an information problem that can be solved using the Big Six. For instance, the goal of many assignments is to have the students practice a skill taught in class. If a child is having a problem understanding an assignment, the parent may help by encouraging the child to explain what it is he or she does not understand. The parent can use information seeking strategies to help the child identify information sources by asking questions such as: "Is there another student in your class, who can help you understand how to do this?" or, "Did the teacher give any other examples?" The parent can help the child identify information sources and suggest ways to get them. For instance, the public television network may have a homework hotline, the public library may have study guides, or a neighborhood child may be in the same class.
TECHNOLOGY AND THE BIG SIX
The Big Six approach recognizes the benefits of technology in education because computers are tools that help organize information. Software programs do a variety of functions such as edit written work, check grammar and spelling, chart and graph quantities, and construct outlines. Computers can also help with time management, setting priorities, and evaluating efficiency.
Using the Internet, students can connect to many non-traditional sources of information and are not limited to information contained on library shelves. They can use e-mail to talk directly with specialists and experts who can add a personal dimension to an assignment.
SEVEN INTELLIGENCES
Arguing that "reason, intelligence, logic, knowledge are not synonymous...," Howard Gardner (1983) proposed a new view of intelligence that is rapidly being incorporated in school curricula. In his Theory of Multiple Intelligences, Gardner expanded the concept of intelligence to also include such areas as music, spacial relations, and interpersonal knowledge in addition to mathematical and linguistic ability.
This digest discusses the origins of Gardner's Theory of Multiple Intelligences, his definition of intelligence, the incorporation of the Theory of Multiple Intelligences into the classroom, and its role in alternative assessment practices.
SEVEN INTELLIGENCES
Gardner defines intelligence as "the capacity to solve problems or to fashion products that are valued in one or more cultural setting" (Gardner & Hatch, 1989). Using biological as well as cultural research, he formulated a list of seven intelligences. This new outlook on intelligence differs greatly from the traditional view which usually recognizes only two intelligences, verbal and computational. The seven intelligences Gardner defines are:
1. Logical-Mathematical Intelligence
consists of the ability to detect patterns, reason deductively and think logically. This intelligence is most often associated with scientific and mathematical thinking.
2. Linguistic Intelligence
involves having a mastery of language. This intelligence includes the ability to effectively manipulate language to express oneself rhetorically or poetically. It also allows one to use language as a means to remember information.
3. Spatial Intelligence
gives one the ability to manipulate and create mental images in order to solve problems. This intelligence is not limited to visual domains--Gardner notes that spatial intelligence is also formed in blind children.
4. Musical Intelligence
encompasses the capability to recognize and compose musical pitches, tones, and rhythms. (Auditory functions are required for a person to develop this intelligence in relation to pitch and tone, but it is not needed for the knowledge of rhythm.)
5. Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence
is the ability to use one's mental abilities to coordinate one's own bodily movements. This intelligence challenges the popular belief that mental and physical activity are unrelated.
6. The Personal Intelligences includes
* interpersonal feelings and intentions of others and
* intrapersonal intelligence--the ability to understand one's own feelings and motivations.
These two intelligences are separate from each other. Nevertheless, because of their close association in most cultures, they are often linked together.
Although the intelligences are anatomically separated from each other, Gardner claims that the seven intelligences very rarely operate independently. Rather, the intelligences are used concurrently and typically complement each other as individuals develop skills or solve problems. For example, a dancer can excel in his art only if he has
* strong musical intelligence to understand the rhythm and variations of the music,
* interpersonal intelligence to understand how he can inspire or emotionally move his audience through his movements, as well as
* bodily-kinesthetic intelligence to provide him with the agility and coordination to complete the movements successfully.
BASIS FOR INTELLIGENCE
Gardner argues that there is both a biological and cultural basis for the multiple intelligences. Neurobiological research indicates that learning is an outcome of the modifications in the synaptic connections between cells. Primary elements of different types of learning are found in particular areas of the brain where corresponding transformations have occurred. Thus, various types of learning results in synaptic connections in different areas of the brain. For example, injury to the Broca's area of the brain will result in the loss of one's ability to verbally communicate using proper syntax. Nevertheless,this injury will not remove the patient's understanding of correct grammar and word usage.
In addition to biology, Gardner (1983) argues that culture also plays a large role in the development of the intelligences. All societies value different types of intelligences. The cultural value placed upon the ability to perform certain tasks provides the motivation to become skilled in those areas. Thus, while particular intelligences might be highly evolved in many people of one culture, those same intelligences might not be as developed in the individuals of another.
USING MULTIPLE INTELLIGENCES IN THE CLASSROOM
Accepting Gardner's Theory of Multiple Intelligences has several implications for teachers in terms of classroom instruction. The theory states that all seven intelligences are needed to productively function in society. Teachers, therefore, should think of all intelligences as equally important. This is in great contrast to traditional education systems which typically place a strong emphasis on the development and use of verbal and mathematical intelligences. Thus, the Theory of Multiple Intelligences implies that educators should recognize and teach to a broader range of talents and skills.
Another implication is that teachers should structure the presentation of material in a style which engages most or all of the intelligences. For example, when teaching about the revolutionary war, a teacher can show students battle maps, play revolutionary war songs, organize a role play of the signing of the Declaration of Independence, and have the students read a novel about life during that period. This kind of presentation not only excites students about learning, but it also allows a teacher to reinforce the same material in a variety of ways. By activating a wide assortment of intelligences, teaching in this manner can facilitate a deeper understanding of the subject material.
Everyone is born possessing the seven intelligences. Nevertheless, all students will come into the classroom with different sets of developed intelligences. This means that each child will have his own unique set of intellectual strengths and weaknesses. These sets determine how easy (or difficult) it is for a student to learn information when it is presented in a particular manner. This is commonly referred to as a learning style. Many learning styles can be found within one classroom. Therefore, it is impossible, as well as impractical, for a teacher to accommodate every lesson to all of the learning styles found within the classroom. Nevertheless the teacher can show students how to use their more developed intelligences to assist in the understanding of a subject which normally employs their weaker intelligences (Lazear, 1992). For example, the teacher can suggest that an especially musically intelligent child learn about the revolutionary war by making up a song about what happened.
TOWARDS A MORE AUTHENTIC ASSESSMENT
As the education system has stressed the importance of developing mathematical and linguistic intelligences, it often bases student success only on the measured skills in those two intelligences. Supporters of Gardner's Theory of Multiple Intelligences believe that this emphasis is unfair. Children whose musical intelligences are highly developed, for example, may be overlooked for gifted programs or may be placed in a special education class because they do not have the required math or language scores. Teachers must seek to assess their students' learning in ways which will give an accurate overview of the their strengths and weaknesses.
As children do not learn in the same way, they cannot be assessed in a uniform fashion. Therefore, it is important that a teacher create an "intelligence profiles" for each student. Knowing how each student learns will allow the teacher to properly assess the child's progress (Lazear, 1992). This individualized evaluation practice will allow a teacher to make more informed decisions on what to teach and how to present information.
Traditional tests (e.g., multiple choice, short answer, essay...) require students to show their knowledge in a predetermined manner. Supporters of Gardner's theory claim that a better approach to assessment is to allow students to explain the material in their own ways using the different intelligences. Preferred assessment methods include student portfolios, independent projects, student journals, and assigning creative tasks. An excellent source for a more in-depth discussion on these different evaluation practices is Lazear (1992).
CONCLUSION
Schools have often sought to help students develop a sense of accomplishment and self-confidence. Gardner's Theory of Multiple Intelligences provides a theoretical foundation for recognizing the different abilities and talents of students. This theory acknowledges that while all students may not be verbally or mathematically gifted, children may have an expertise in other areas, such as music, spatial relations, or interpersonal knowledge. Approaching and assessing learning in this manner allows a wider range of students to successfully participate in classroom learning.
This digest discusses the origins of Gardner's Theory of Multiple Intelligences, his definition of intelligence, the incorporation of the Theory of Multiple Intelligences into the classroom, and its role in alternative assessment practices.
SEVEN INTELLIGENCES
Gardner defines intelligence as "the capacity to solve problems or to fashion products that are valued in one or more cultural setting" (Gardner & Hatch, 1989). Using biological as well as cultural research, he formulated a list of seven intelligences. This new outlook on intelligence differs greatly from the traditional view which usually recognizes only two intelligences, verbal and computational. The seven intelligences Gardner defines are:
1. Logical-Mathematical Intelligence
consists of the ability to detect patterns, reason deductively and think logically. This intelligence is most often associated with scientific and mathematical thinking.
2. Linguistic Intelligence
involves having a mastery of language. This intelligence includes the ability to effectively manipulate language to express oneself rhetorically or poetically. It also allows one to use language as a means to remember information.
3. Spatial Intelligence
gives one the ability to manipulate and create mental images in order to solve problems. This intelligence is not limited to visual domains--Gardner notes that spatial intelligence is also formed in blind children.
4. Musical Intelligence
encompasses the capability to recognize and compose musical pitches, tones, and rhythms. (Auditory functions are required for a person to develop this intelligence in relation to pitch and tone, but it is not needed for the knowledge of rhythm.)
5. Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence
is the ability to use one's mental abilities to coordinate one's own bodily movements. This intelligence challenges the popular belief that mental and physical activity are unrelated.
6. The Personal Intelligences includes
* interpersonal feelings and intentions of others and
* intrapersonal intelligence--the ability to understand one's own feelings and motivations.
These two intelligences are separate from each other. Nevertheless, because of their close association in most cultures, they are often linked together.
Although the intelligences are anatomically separated from each other, Gardner claims that the seven intelligences very rarely operate independently. Rather, the intelligences are used concurrently and typically complement each other as individuals develop skills or solve problems. For example, a dancer can excel in his art only if he has
* strong musical intelligence to understand the rhythm and variations of the music,
* interpersonal intelligence to understand how he can inspire or emotionally move his audience through his movements, as well as
* bodily-kinesthetic intelligence to provide him with the agility and coordination to complete the movements successfully.
BASIS FOR INTELLIGENCE
Gardner argues that there is both a biological and cultural basis for the multiple intelligences. Neurobiological research indicates that learning is an outcome of the modifications in the synaptic connections between cells. Primary elements of different types of learning are found in particular areas of the brain where corresponding transformations have occurred. Thus, various types of learning results in synaptic connections in different areas of the brain. For example, injury to the Broca's area of the brain will result in the loss of one's ability to verbally communicate using proper syntax. Nevertheless,this injury will not remove the patient's understanding of correct grammar and word usage.
In addition to biology, Gardner (1983) argues that culture also plays a large role in the development of the intelligences. All societies value different types of intelligences. The cultural value placed upon the ability to perform certain tasks provides the motivation to become skilled in those areas. Thus, while particular intelligences might be highly evolved in many people of one culture, those same intelligences might not be as developed in the individuals of another.
USING MULTIPLE INTELLIGENCES IN THE CLASSROOM
Accepting Gardner's Theory of Multiple Intelligences has several implications for teachers in terms of classroom instruction. The theory states that all seven intelligences are needed to productively function in society. Teachers, therefore, should think of all intelligences as equally important. This is in great contrast to traditional education systems which typically place a strong emphasis on the development and use of verbal and mathematical intelligences. Thus, the Theory of Multiple Intelligences implies that educators should recognize and teach to a broader range of talents and skills.
Another implication is that teachers should structure the presentation of material in a style which engages most or all of the intelligences. For example, when teaching about the revolutionary war, a teacher can show students battle maps, play revolutionary war songs, organize a role play of the signing of the Declaration of Independence, and have the students read a novel about life during that period. This kind of presentation not only excites students about learning, but it also allows a teacher to reinforce the same material in a variety of ways. By activating a wide assortment of intelligences, teaching in this manner can facilitate a deeper understanding of the subject material.
Everyone is born possessing the seven intelligences. Nevertheless, all students will come into the classroom with different sets of developed intelligences. This means that each child will have his own unique set of intellectual strengths and weaknesses. These sets determine how easy (or difficult) it is for a student to learn information when it is presented in a particular manner. This is commonly referred to as a learning style. Many learning styles can be found within one classroom. Therefore, it is impossible, as well as impractical, for a teacher to accommodate every lesson to all of the learning styles found within the classroom. Nevertheless the teacher can show students how to use their more developed intelligences to assist in the understanding of a subject which normally employs their weaker intelligences (Lazear, 1992). For example, the teacher can suggest that an especially musically intelligent child learn about the revolutionary war by making up a song about what happened.
TOWARDS A MORE AUTHENTIC ASSESSMENT
As the education system has stressed the importance of developing mathematical and linguistic intelligences, it often bases student success only on the measured skills in those two intelligences. Supporters of Gardner's Theory of Multiple Intelligences believe that this emphasis is unfair. Children whose musical intelligences are highly developed, for example, may be overlooked for gifted programs or may be placed in a special education class because they do not have the required math or language scores. Teachers must seek to assess their students' learning in ways which will give an accurate overview of the their strengths and weaknesses.
As children do not learn in the same way, they cannot be assessed in a uniform fashion. Therefore, it is important that a teacher create an "intelligence profiles" for each student. Knowing how each student learns will allow the teacher to properly assess the child's progress (Lazear, 1992). This individualized evaluation practice will allow a teacher to make more informed decisions on what to teach and how to present information.
Traditional tests (e.g., multiple choice, short answer, essay...) require students to show their knowledge in a predetermined manner. Supporters of Gardner's theory claim that a better approach to assessment is to allow students to explain the material in their own ways using the different intelligences. Preferred assessment methods include student portfolios, independent projects, student journals, and assigning creative tasks. An excellent source for a more in-depth discussion on these different evaluation practices is Lazear (1992).
CONCLUSION
Schools have often sought to help students develop a sense of accomplishment and self-confidence. Gardner's Theory of Multiple Intelligences provides a theoretical foundation for recognizing the different abilities and talents of students. This theory acknowledges that while all students may not be verbally or mathematically gifted, children may have an expertise in other areas, such as music, spatial relations, or interpersonal knowledge. Approaching and assessing learning in this manner allows a wider range of students to successfully participate in classroom learning.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
THE BASICS OF CHILD STRESS
Parents tend to assume that it is only adults who can rightfully claim that they are stressed. It is a condition that is normally attributed to a fast-paced workplace and the burden of responsibilities. With this, they become insensitive to their children’s daily problems and wave of the symptoms of stress that their children might be showing. Stress is a condition that is inevitably felt by all ages, parents should always watch out for symptoms in their children in order to properly guide them to deal with stress.
There are two types of stress that children experience. The first is called normative stress which is stress that is experienced by children as they progress through different phases of development. Examples of normative stress are learning to walk, learning to talk, to read and write and learning to make new friends, among others. Normative stress is productive, it cannot and should not be prevented as this helps the child mature and become more independent.
The second type of stress is life-changing stress. This is a more serious situation caused by abrupt changes in a child’s routine. One of the biggest life-changing stress trigger in children is divorce. Children are highly dependent on their parents and when this foundation of their family is threatened, in most cases children feel lonely and frightened. For this reason, parents should try refraining from fighting in front of their children. Death is another life-changing stress that could leave children confused and sad. When death happens, be it a family member, a pet, a friend or a relative, parents must be ready to explain the situation to their children and help as much as they can to help the child grieve and move on with life. Peer pressure is another common cause of stress.
Children have a heavy need to belong and be liked by other children and at an early stage this entails conforming to the social norms in the classroom even if it is against the child’s personal wants. There are many other causes of child stress such as moving to a new community, school work, extra-curricular activities, etc. The key to helping a child handle stress properly is knowing the symptoms of child stress.
The physical symptoms of child stress includes sweaty palms, aggressive outburst, self-comforting actions such as hugging knees while rocking, wetting the bed, trouble sleeping and nervous motor behaviors such as thumb-sucking, finger-nail biting, hair twirling, etc.
The emotional symptoms of stress are excessive shyness and being over clingy to a parent. In time, children develop different ways to cope with stress, some distance themselves from emotions, some would use violence as an outlet and some would simply cry. Stress is a normal part of life that does not normally raise concern. However, over-exposure to stress at a young age and subjecting children to continuously apply their coping strategies may result to a behavioral change that a child would likely carry for the rest of his life. For this reason, it is pertinent to help a child deal with stress properly.
Adults can help by preparing the child for changes to come. Be it moving to a new home or a new sibling, talking to a child about what to expect and helping them have the proper mindset for what is to come would prevent the trauma. Adults should also provide the child an outlet for feelings so that they will always have an idea of what goes on in the child’s head and be able to pinpoint when action is needed.
There are two types of stress that children experience. The first is called normative stress which is stress that is experienced by children as they progress through different phases of development. Examples of normative stress are learning to walk, learning to talk, to read and write and learning to make new friends, among others. Normative stress is productive, it cannot and should not be prevented as this helps the child mature and become more independent.
The second type of stress is life-changing stress. This is a more serious situation caused by abrupt changes in a child’s routine. One of the biggest life-changing stress trigger in children is divorce. Children are highly dependent on their parents and when this foundation of their family is threatened, in most cases children feel lonely and frightened. For this reason, parents should try refraining from fighting in front of their children. Death is another life-changing stress that could leave children confused and sad. When death happens, be it a family member, a pet, a friend or a relative, parents must be ready to explain the situation to their children and help as much as they can to help the child grieve and move on with life. Peer pressure is another common cause of stress.
Children have a heavy need to belong and be liked by other children and at an early stage this entails conforming to the social norms in the classroom even if it is against the child’s personal wants. There are many other causes of child stress such as moving to a new community, school work, extra-curricular activities, etc. The key to helping a child handle stress properly is knowing the symptoms of child stress.
The physical symptoms of child stress includes sweaty palms, aggressive outburst, self-comforting actions such as hugging knees while rocking, wetting the bed, trouble sleeping and nervous motor behaviors such as thumb-sucking, finger-nail biting, hair twirling, etc.
The emotional symptoms of stress are excessive shyness and being over clingy to a parent. In time, children develop different ways to cope with stress, some distance themselves from emotions, some would use violence as an outlet and some would simply cry. Stress is a normal part of life that does not normally raise concern. However, over-exposure to stress at a young age and subjecting children to continuously apply their coping strategies may result to a behavioral change that a child would likely carry for the rest of his life. For this reason, it is pertinent to help a child deal with stress properly.
Adults can help by preparing the child for changes to come. Be it moving to a new home or a new sibling, talking to a child about what to expect and helping them have the proper mindset for what is to come would prevent the trauma. Adults should also provide the child an outlet for feelings so that they will always have an idea of what goes on in the child’s head and be able to pinpoint when action is needed.
TIPS FOR PARENTS WITH A SPOILED CHILD
There are tips for parents with a spoiled child that can help make things easier. The first thing a parent needs to understand is why the child is spoiled. Every parent wants to have a happy child and sometimes being to permissive and lenient with a small child can result in the child becoming a bit spoiled and always wanting their way. Temper tantrums and doing what they want to do no matter what you say are signs that the child might have a problem with authority. Saying no to a spoiled child can be difficult if you have always allowed them to have their way.
The rule of thumb for parenting a spoiled child is to ignore bad behavior and reward good behavior. This is the hardest thing for parents to do. If you are out in public and the child is having a temper tantrum, it can be hard to ignore and easier to give in. This however is what might have caused the problem in the first place. You must stand strong and ignore the child. If other people see this behavior, they will more than likely understand and know what you are going through. Do not respond to bad behavior by giving in to save yourself from embarrassment.
Reading about how to handle a spoiled child is easier than actually doing it. Keep in mind that rewarding for good behavior will work only if you ignore bad behavior. If you happen to see the child doing something that is good, you can offer a reward and praise. By praising them for doing something good, they will learn that doing something good is the only way to get a reward and praise. It is very hard for a parent to change how they react or what they give into, but if you want the child to learn right from wrong, you have to be firm.
Setting limits is not only necessary for parents with a spoiled child, but also for parents that do not want to have a spoiled child. If you set limits early, you will have a child that realizes the difference between right and wrong behavior. If your child is a bit spoiled, you must start small. Set a limit that they can adhere to easily. Setting limits that are unreasonable and consist of a total change for the child can be too much for a child to understand. Start small and work up. As the child learns, you can increase the limits. It will not seem like that big of a change.
There are many tips for parents with spoiled children, but these are the best tips that can turn a child around the easiest. You can say yes to some things, but make sure it is not for the wrong reasons. To avoid having a spoiled child means starting when they are young. Children need to learn the difference between good behavior and bad behavior early in life or it will be a little harder to discipline them later on
The rule of thumb for parenting a spoiled child is to ignore bad behavior and reward good behavior. This is the hardest thing for parents to do. If you are out in public and the child is having a temper tantrum, it can be hard to ignore and easier to give in. This however is what might have caused the problem in the first place. You must stand strong and ignore the child. If other people see this behavior, they will more than likely understand and know what you are going through. Do not respond to bad behavior by giving in to save yourself from embarrassment.
Reading about how to handle a spoiled child is easier than actually doing it. Keep in mind that rewarding for good behavior will work only if you ignore bad behavior. If you happen to see the child doing something that is good, you can offer a reward and praise. By praising them for doing something good, they will learn that doing something good is the only way to get a reward and praise. It is very hard for a parent to change how they react or what they give into, but if you want the child to learn right from wrong, you have to be firm.
Setting limits is not only necessary for parents with a spoiled child, but also for parents that do not want to have a spoiled child. If you set limits early, you will have a child that realizes the difference between right and wrong behavior. If your child is a bit spoiled, you must start small. Set a limit that they can adhere to easily. Setting limits that are unreasonable and consist of a total change for the child can be too much for a child to understand. Start small and work up. As the child learns, you can increase the limits. It will not seem like that big of a change.
There are many tips for parents with spoiled children, but these are the best tips that can turn a child around the easiest. You can say yes to some things, but make sure it is not for the wrong reasons. To avoid having a spoiled child means starting when they are young. Children need to learn the difference between good behavior and bad behavior early in life or it will be a little harder to discipline them later on
Friday, November 28, 2008
AGES & STAGES - INDIVIDUAL DIFFERENCES
Developmental milestones give a general idea about what to expect from children of different ages. However, there will always be differences between individual children. Some children begin to walk at 10 months, some at 15 months. Some toddle along quickly and smoothly, getting the "hang of it" right away. Others fall down a lot, hesitate, or even give up for a few days. Some children talk before they are 2, others talk very little before they are 3 or so. Some will always be quiet people.
Some abilities become clear in one child, but may never be very strong in another.
Recognize the individual in the child and look for differences based on the following:
SENSE OF SECURITY
Some children need more consistency, more reassurance, and more confidence and trust-building than others. Insecurity sometimes can cause a child to withdraw or behave aggressively.
ACTIVITY LEVEL
Some children need more active play than others. They need the opportunity to move around, jump, run, and bounce many times throughout the day. Other children need more quiet time or more rest.
RESPONSE TO STIMULATION
Children are inherently different in their tolerance to noise, activity, visual stimulation, or changes in the environment. An environment that is sensitive to this need in children will provide interesting activities as well as a quiet place to get away from the action.
THINKING STYLE
Some children think quietly through possible solutions to a problem; others push in and try the first idea that occurs to them. Some children are interested in experimenting to find out how objects work; others choose to ask friends or adults for help.
Developmental guidelines should be used as a general rule of thumb. In your work with children, do not confuse earlier or faster development with better development. Early talking by a 1-year-old does not mean that the child will be a chatterbox or a brilliant conversationalist at age 10. Later talking may mean that a toddler is putting more energy into physical growth and motor exploration right now.
Development or the lack of it that falls outside the normal range may indicate a problem that requires attention. You may need to help parents recognize possible problems and special needs, such as poor vision or hearing. Familiarity with developmental norms and with community resources can assist you in helping parents seek professional advice about developmental questions.
Some abilities become clear in one child, but may never be very strong in another.
Recognize the individual in the child and look for differences based on the following:
SENSE OF SECURITY
Some children need more consistency, more reassurance, and more confidence and trust-building than others. Insecurity sometimes can cause a child to withdraw or behave aggressively.
ACTIVITY LEVEL
Some children need more active play than others. They need the opportunity to move around, jump, run, and bounce many times throughout the day. Other children need more quiet time or more rest.
RESPONSE TO STIMULATION
Children are inherently different in their tolerance to noise, activity, visual stimulation, or changes in the environment. An environment that is sensitive to this need in children will provide interesting activities as well as a quiet place to get away from the action.
THINKING STYLE
Some children think quietly through possible solutions to a problem; others push in and try the first idea that occurs to them. Some children are interested in experimenting to find out how objects work; others choose to ask friends or adults for help.
Developmental guidelines should be used as a general rule of thumb. In your work with children, do not confuse earlier or faster development with better development. Early talking by a 1-year-old does not mean that the child will be a chatterbox or a brilliant conversationalist at age 10. Later talking may mean that a toddler is putting more energy into physical growth and motor exploration right now.
Development or the lack of it that falls outside the normal range may indicate a problem that requires attention. You may need to help parents recognize possible problems and special needs, such as poor vision or hearing. Familiarity with developmental norms and with community resources can assist you in helping parents seek professional advice about developmental questions.
Persiapan Sekolah ke Luar Negeri
Perlu persiapan matang dan panjang bila ingin menyekolahkan anak ke luar negeri.
Sebagai orangtua, Anda pasti ingin memberikan pendidikan terbaik bagi si kecil. Tak hanya ingin menyekolahkan si kecil ke sekolah atau perguruan tinggi terbaik di Indonesia, mungkin Anda ingin menyekolahkan si kecil ke luar negeri. Sekolah ke luar negeri memang memiliki beberapa nilai positif. Anda bisa memilih sekolah dengan kualitas terbaik, sekaligus memberikan bekal pengalaman kepada si kecil untuk berinteraksi dengan bermacam latar belakang budaya yang berbeda.
Sayangnya tidak mudah untuk sekolah di luar negeri. Selain biaya pendidikan yang mahal, untuk masuk ke sekolah atau perguruan tinggi dengan kualitas terbaik si kecil harus melalui seleksi yang ketat dan memiliki pengetahuan luas. Selain membekali si kecil dengan pengetahuan yang luas, Anda juga harus mempersiapkan dana pendidikan yang besar.
Hal pertama yang harus diperhitungkan adalah akan disekolahkan di mana si kecil. Berbeda negara tentu akan membutuhkan dana yang berbeda pula. Misalnya si kecil akan disekolahkan di Singapura, tentu biayanya berbeda bila ia sekolah di negara Eropa. Selain standar biaya pendidikan yang berbeda, biaya hidupnya pun berbeda. Faktor biaya hidup ini harus Anda pertimbangkan pula dengan matang, karena jumlah tidak sedikit, atau bahkan lebih besar dari biaya pendidikannya sendiri.
Kedua, perhitungkan biaya pendidikan dalam beberapa tahun ke depan. Hal ini bisa berdasarkan kenaikan inflasi di negara tersebut. Misalnya di negara Eropa yang memiliki inflasi kecil, berarti kenaikan biayanya tidak akan sebesar kenaikan biaya pendidikan di Indonesia yang memiliki angka inflasi tinggi. Hitung biaya sekarang dikalikan berapa tahun ke depan si kecil masuk dan inflasi tahunan di negara tersebut. Meski itu bukan hitungan pasti, Anda bisa mendapatkan gambaran kasar berapa kira-kira biaya pendidikan di negara tersebut dalam 10-15 tahun ke depan.
Setelah mengetahui biaya hidup dan perkiraan biaya pendidikan di negara tujuan tersebut dalam beberapa tahun ke depan, Anda tinggal menentukan investasi yang akan Anda pilih untuk mempersiapkan biaya pendidikan si kecil. Anda tidak bisa hanya mengandalkan menabung saja untuk biaya pendidikan si kecil, karena bunga yang didapat kecil. Anda bisa menggabungkan beberapa jenis investasi sekaligus, seperti reksadana hingga saham.
Yang perlu Anda pertimbangkan juga adalah investasi berbasis mata uang setempat. Misalnya Anda akan menyekolahkan si kecil di Jerman, berarti Anda harus menempatkan sebagian uang Anda untuk investasi berbasis mata uang euro, bukan dolar atau poundsterling. Investasi berbasis mata uang setempat sangat pas bila si kecil akan segera berangkat suatu saat nanti, misalnya deposito berbasis euro atau dolar.
Satu hal lagi yang tak kalah penting adalah kedisiplinan Anda dalam berinvestasi. Jangan sampai seperti listrik yang nyala dan kemudian padam saat berinvestasi. Anda harus menyisakan uang secara rutin setiap bulan agar bisa mempersiapkan dana untuk si kecil. Kedisiplinan Anda dalam menyisihkan dana pendidikan bagi si kecil merupakan kunci yang sangat penting untuk mendukung si kecil meraih cita-cita tertingginya.
Sebagai orangtua, Anda pasti ingin memberikan pendidikan terbaik bagi si kecil. Tak hanya ingin menyekolahkan si kecil ke sekolah atau perguruan tinggi terbaik di Indonesia, mungkin Anda ingin menyekolahkan si kecil ke luar negeri. Sekolah ke luar negeri memang memiliki beberapa nilai positif. Anda bisa memilih sekolah dengan kualitas terbaik, sekaligus memberikan bekal pengalaman kepada si kecil untuk berinteraksi dengan bermacam latar belakang budaya yang berbeda.
Sayangnya tidak mudah untuk sekolah di luar negeri. Selain biaya pendidikan yang mahal, untuk masuk ke sekolah atau perguruan tinggi dengan kualitas terbaik si kecil harus melalui seleksi yang ketat dan memiliki pengetahuan luas. Selain membekali si kecil dengan pengetahuan yang luas, Anda juga harus mempersiapkan dana pendidikan yang besar.
Hal pertama yang harus diperhitungkan adalah akan disekolahkan di mana si kecil. Berbeda negara tentu akan membutuhkan dana yang berbeda pula. Misalnya si kecil akan disekolahkan di Singapura, tentu biayanya berbeda bila ia sekolah di negara Eropa. Selain standar biaya pendidikan yang berbeda, biaya hidupnya pun berbeda. Faktor biaya hidup ini harus Anda pertimbangkan pula dengan matang, karena jumlah tidak sedikit, atau bahkan lebih besar dari biaya pendidikannya sendiri.
Kedua, perhitungkan biaya pendidikan dalam beberapa tahun ke depan. Hal ini bisa berdasarkan kenaikan inflasi di negara tersebut. Misalnya di negara Eropa yang memiliki inflasi kecil, berarti kenaikan biayanya tidak akan sebesar kenaikan biaya pendidikan di Indonesia yang memiliki angka inflasi tinggi. Hitung biaya sekarang dikalikan berapa tahun ke depan si kecil masuk dan inflasi tahunan di negara tersebut. Meski itu bukan hitungan pasti, Anda bisa mendapatkan gambaran kasar berapa kira-kira biaya pendidikan di negara tersebut dalam 10-15 tahun ke depan.
Setelah mengetahui biaya hidup dan perkiraan biaya pendidikan di negara tujuan tersebut dalam beberapa tahun ke depan, Anda tinggal menentukan investasi yang akan Anda pilih untuk mempersiapkan biaya pendidikan si kecil. Anda tidak bisa hanya mengandalkan menabung saja untuk biaya pendidikan si kecil, karena bunga yang didapat kecil. Anda bisa menggabungkan beberapa jenis investasi sekaligus, seperti reksadana hingga saham.
Yang perlu Anda pertimbangkan juga adalah investasi berbasis mata uang setempat. Misalnya Anda akan menyekolahkan si kecil di Jerman, berarti Anda harus menempatkan sebagian uang Anda untuk investasi berbasis mata uang euro, bukan dolar atau poundsterling. Investasi berbasis mata uang setempat sangat pas bila si kecil akan segera berangkat suatu saat nanti, misalnya deposito berbasis euro atau dolar.
Satu hal lagi yang tak kalah penting adalah kedisiplinan Anda dalam berinvestasi. Jangan sampai seperti listrik yang nyala dan kemudian padam saat berinvestasi. Anda harus menyisakan uang secara rutin setiap bulan agar bisa mempersiapkan dana untuk si kecil. Kedisiplinan Anda dalam menyisihkan dana pendidikan bagi si kecil merupakan kunci yang sangat penting untuk mendukung si kecil meraih cita-cita tertingginya.
Persiapan Biaya Preschool
Kapan waktu terbaik menyiapkan dana pendidikan anak? ”Sejak Anda menikah dan berencana punya anak,” kata Antony Japari penulis buku Solusi Cerdas Keuangan Keluarga.
Menurut Antony, begitu menikah, misalnya tahun depan ingin memiliki anak, maka orangtua sudah harus melakukan perencanaan.
Dalam hal ini, rencana pendidikan paling awal adalah preschool. Siapkan dana sesuai kemampuan keuangan Anda. Menurut Antony, ada beberapa langkah yang perlu diperhatikan.
1. Perkirakan preschool mana yang akan Anda pilih. Hitung semua biaya sekolah, ongkos transportasi, dan biaya pendukung lainnya. Semakin detil perhitungan biaya yang Anda bisa dapatkan, semakin jelas bagi Anda mengatur perencanaan. Siapa tahu ada biaya yang bisa disubsitusi atau dikurangi. Misalnya, jika lokasi preschool anak Anda searah dengan kantor suami Anda, berarti Anda bisa mengurangi biaya transportasi berangkat.
2. Tentukan berapa lama lagi biaya tersebut harus dipenuhi. Misalnya anak Anda kini berumur setahun, maka dalam dua atau tiga tahun lagi anak Anda akan masuk preschool.
3. Berarti Anda punya waktu dua atau tiga tahun untuk menyiapkan biaya preschool. Kurun waktu ini bisa Anda manfaatkan dengan menabung atau memilih investasi seperti deposito, reksadana atau asuransi pendidikan.
4. Cari tahu informasi total biaya pendidikan di masa anak Anda masuk preschool. Agar dana yang Anda siapkan sesuai dengan kebutuhan biaya pendidikan pada masa tersebut.
5. Lakukan revisi dan evaluasi atas tabungan atau investasi yang Anda pilih. Langkah ini perlu dilakukan mengingat asumsi suku bunga tabungan, deposito, asuransi maupun produk investasi lain bisa berubah. Terlebih untuk mengantisipasi perubahan biaya pendidikan yang biasanya terjadi tiap tahun ajaran.
Menurut Antony, begitu menikah, misalnya tahun depan ingin memiliki anak, maka orangtua sudah harus melakukan perencanaan.
Dalam hal ini, rencana pendidikan paling awal adalah preschool. Siapkan dana sesuai kemampuan keuangan Anda. Menurut Antony, ada beberapa langkah yang perlu diperhatikan.
1. Perkirakan preschool mana yang akan Anda pilih. Hitung semua biaya sekolah, ongkos transportasi, dan biaya pendukung lainnya. Semakin detil perhitungan biaya yang Anda bisa dapatkan, semakin jelas bagi Anda mengatur perencanaan. Siapa tahu ada biaya yang bisa disubsitusi atau dikurangi. Misalnya, jika lokasi preschool anak Anda searah dengan kantor suami Anda, berarti Anda bisa mengurangi biaya transportasi berangkat.
2. Tentukan berapa lama lagi biaya tersebut harus dipenuhi. Misalnya anak Anda kini berumur setahun, maka dalam dua atau tiga tahun lagi anak Anda akan masuk preschool.
3. Berarti Anda punya waktu dua atau tiga tahun untuk menyiapkan biaya preschool. Kurun waktu ini bisa Anda manfaatkan dengan menabung atau memilih investasi seperti deposito, reksadana atau asuransi pendidikan.
4. Cari tahu informasi total biaya pendidikan di masa anak Anda masuk preschool. Agar dana yang Anda siapkan sesuai dengan kebutuhan biaya pendidikan pada masa tersebut.
5. Lakukan revisi dan evaluasi atas tabungan atau investasi yang Anda pilih. Langkah ini perlu dilakukan mengingat asumsi suku bunga tabungan, deposito, asuransi maupun produk investasi lain bisa berubah. Terlebih untuk mengantisipasi perubahan biaya pendidikan yang biasanya terjadi tiap tahun ajaran.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Moral Education
Moral Education - A New Perspective
For teachers, parents and all concerned with public life, moral education is an indispensable part of children's education. The systematic development of a moral education programme must be regarded as central to the building of a progressive society and a sense of true identity among its future citizens.
There is compelling and conspicuous evidence of widespread social disintegration in the world today. It is characterised by the lack of moral discipline, the increasing breakdown of the family and community, the loss of cultural identity and purposeful traditional values, the rise of lawlessness, and the want of genuine and committed concern for the welfare of humanity. Such social disintegration points to the imperative need for children to receive moral education in school from their earliest years.
Any one believe that the development of moral character constitutes the essential foundation of a true education. The Baha'i writings state: "Good behaviour and high moral character must come first, for unless the character is trained, acquiring knowledge will only prove injurious. Knowledge is praiseworthy when it is coupled with ethical conduct and a virtuous character; otherwise it is a deadly poison, a frightful danger."
Thus, beyond the belief in the importance of providing children with a relevant and excellent academic education, it is the Baha'i view that education must also exercise a transforming influence upon the character of the individual so that intellectual learning may be of genuine benefit to the individual and society.
The approach that the Baha'i community has taken in its education efforts has been to focus on the training of individuals capable of making moral decisions and acting accordingly. Examples of the capabilities that must be developed throughout the stages of growth of an individual are those of: exercising initiative in a creative and disciplined way; sustaining effort, persevering and overcoming obstacles; thinking systemically in the search for solutions; opposing one's lower passions and self-centered tendencies by turning towards one's noble attributes and aspirations and by directing one's energies towards the welfare of society; managing one's affairs and responsibilities with rectitude of conduct; creating environments of unity built on diversity; contributing to the establishment of justice; and participating effectively in consultation and in collective enterprise.
The Baha'is believe that moral capabilities, such as the few mentioned above, cannot be developed in a secular framework of education. An indispensable requisite for developing these capabilities is to establish a connection between the human heart and God, thus enabling the individual to manifest the spiritual qualities with which the human soul has been endowed, such as justice, generosity, love, compassion and truthfulness. The teachings of the religions of the world are the depositories of those truths that assist every human being in establishing a relationship with God and developing these qualities.
Thus, educational programmes addressing the moral dimensions of life draw upon the religious heritage of humanity, particularly the scriptures of the world's religions. This does not mean that such an approach is sectarian in nature. Rather, educational efforts are carried out in the context of the unity of God, the fundamental unity of all religions and the oneness of mankind. An essential concept underlying these programmes is that only an unfettered investigation of truth can free an individual from the chains of blind imitation and prejudice. A primary objective, then, of moral educational curricula is to foster in students the desire, skills and discipline for the systematic investigation of reality.
Adapted from: www.experiencefestival.com/a/Bahai/id/50440
For teachers, parents and all concerned with public life, moral education is an indispensable part of children's education. The systematic development of a moral education programme must be regarded as central to the building of a progressive society and a sense of true identity among its future citizens.
There is compelling and conspicuous evidence of widespread social disintegration in the world today. It is characterised by the lack of moral discipline, the increasing breakdown of the family and community, the loss of cultural identity and purposeful traditional values, the rise of lawlessness, and the want of genuine and committed concern for the welfare of humanity. Such social disintegration points to the imperative need for children to receive moral education in school from their earliest years.
Any one believe that the development of moral character constitutes the essential foundation of a true education. The Baha'i writings state: "Good behaviour and high moral character must come first, for unless the character is trained, acquiring knowledge will only prove injurious. Knowledge is praiseworthy when it is coupled with ethical conduct and a virtuous character; otherwise it is a deadly poison, a frightful danger."
Thus, beyond the belief in the importance of providing children with a relevant and excellent academic education, it is the Baha'i view that education must also exercise a transforming influence upon the character of the individual so that intellectual learning may be of genuine benefit to the individual and society.
The approach that the Baha'i community has taken in its education efforts has been to focus on the training of individuals capable of making moral decisions and acting accordingly. Examples of the capabilities that must be developed throughout the stages of growth of an individual are those of: exercising initiative in a creative and disciplined way; sustaining effort, persevering and overcoming obstacles; thinking systemically in the search for solutions; opposing one's lower passions and self-centered tendencies by turning towards one's noble attributes and aspirations and by directing one's energies towards the welfare of society; managing one's affairs and responsibilities with rectitude of conduct; creating environments of unity built on diversity; contributing to the establishment of justice; and participating effectively in consultation and in collective enterprise.
The Baha'is believe that moral capabilities, such as the few mentioned above, cannot be developed in a secular framework of education. An indispensable requisite for developing these capabilities is to establish a connection between the human heart and God, thus enabling the individual to manifest the spiritual qualities with which the human soul has been endowed, such as justice, generosity, love, compassion and truthfulness. The teachings of the religions of the world are the depositories of those truths that assist every human being in establishing a relationship with God and developing these qualities.
Thus, educational programmes addressing the moral dimensions of life draw upon the religious heritage of humanity, particularly the scriptures of the world's religions. This does not mean that such an approach is sectarian in nature. Rather, educational efforts are carried out in the context of the unity of God, the fundamental unity of all religions and the oneness of mankind. An essential concept underlying these programmes is that only an unfettered investigation of truth can free an individual from the chains of blind imitation and prejudice. A primary objective, then, of moral educational curricula is to foster in students the desire, skills and discipline for the systematic investigation of reality.
Adapted from: www.experiencefestival.com/a/Bahai/id/50440
Monday, October 27, 2008
KINDERGARTEN
What is a kindergarten?
A kindergarten, or kindy as a lot of us know them, is an education and care centre governed by a Kindergarten Association. They are funded in exactly the same way by Government as Early Childhood Centres, with funding dependent upon how many qualified teachers are on the staff.
Traditionally, these centres were known as Free Kindergartens (i.e. available to all pre-school children), but are now more commonly known as Community Kindergartens, which reflects the enhanced partnership role of parents, whanau and the local community.
Kindys have traditionally provided part-time, sessional care for pre-schoolers (with a morning session for older children, and an afternoon session for the youngsters), but increasingly more and more kindergartens now provide an "all day" (i.e. up to 6 hours/day) service for each child. Check with your local kindy on their service offerings.
What ages does a kindergarten cater for?
Most kindys enrol children aged between two and five years, but placement is subject to availability. A quick phone call to your local kindy will enable you to find out at what age they are accepting children.
A word of warning: kindys are usually very popular, and often operate Waiting Lists. Their popularity is related to both their relatively low cost and their high quality education. We therefore strongly recommend that you get your child added to the waiting list well before you want them to start, or you may find that your child will not be able to gain entry until they are 3.5 or 4 years old.
At kindy the children are traditionally divided into two groups:
* older children attend morning sessions five-days-a-week. These sessions generally run between 8.30am and 12pm; and
* younger children attend afternoon sessions three-days-a-week which, for the most part run between 1pm and 3.15pm
But there is increasingly an "all day"service (i.e. 6 hour session x 4 days, and 4.25 hour session x 1 day each week).
Again, these are guidelines and can vary from kindy to kindy. The best place to find out about session times is from your local kindy.
The age at which children start and the age at which they move up a group will vary from kindy to kindy. There are no legal requirements or rules that apply across the country. The only legal requirement related to age at kindy, is that your child must be enrolled and attending a primary school by the age of six years.
How does kindergarten differ from other service providers?
Kindy is different from other ECE services in several ways.
* One of the biggest differences is the fact that all kindergarten teachers must be registered teachers. This means holding a Diploma in Teaching (ECE) or similar qualification, with a minimum of three years training.
* Cost-wise there is a noticeable difference. Kindy is, for the most part, government funded and costs parents roughly $2 - $5 per morning or aftersession. The fees are compulsory, enforced by a debt collection policy, the same as all other ECE centres.
* The ratio of teachers to children differs greatly. At kindys the ratio is around 1 teacher : 15 children, whereas it sits around 1 teacher : 5 children at other services.
* Kindy caters for children from 2 years through to 5 years of age, when they begin attending primary school. (In 2009, Government will raise the earliest starting date for kindy children to 2.5 years.) Other services cater for a broader age group including toddlers and babies.
* Kindy is part-time education. This can be difficult for working parents. The majority of other services provide full-time education and care.
What will my child learn?
In New Zealand we have an early childhood curriculum called Te Whaariki. This curriculum sets out the learning experiences and goals for children before they reach school age. The overriding aim of Te Whaariki is for children:
“to grow up as competent and confident learners and communicators, healthy in mind, body and spirit, secure in their sense of belonging and in the knowledge that they make a valued contribution to society”
To help achieve this, kindergarten aims to provide environments for our children that create trust and foster their confidence. Children are encouraged to give things a go and to become active in their own learning.
Teachers plan learning programmes around the children’s interests at the time. As we all know, if our children are interested in something, they will be encouraged to participate for longer and consequently derive greater value from the experience.
There’s a lot of dramatic play and activity at kindergarten that allows the children to learn important social lessons about equal roles and equal rights for everyone.
Children are also encouraged to use language to communicate. They are taught to let others know how they are feeling and what their needs are by talking to them. The expression “Use your words” will be commonly heard – especially when encouraging youngsters not to hit or get frustrated. Your child will also be taught to stand up for themselves verbally, by learning phrases such as "Stop it, I don't like it".
The older children in the morning sessions will also learn to be “school ready”. They will become used to “mat time”, sitting quietly and listening, following the teacher’s instructions, and “playing nicely” with other children. They will also learn the basics of numbers and letters, and probably be able to write their name. They will also become familiar with books and reading, which will lay the foundations for their primary schooling.
How are kindergartens run?
Kindys are run by a committee made up of parents and people from the community. You can get involved on a day-to-day level by taking the opportunity to join the committee, or become a volunteer helper or fundraiser.
At a higher level, each kindy committee is answerable to the local kindergarten association. For example, the largest association in the country is the Auckland Kindergarten Association, which is responsible for 107 kindys in the greater Auckland region. The Associations take a strong governance and management role, and are responsible for the quality of education and financial control in each kindy.
What will it cost me?
Kindys will charge a fee at the beginning of each term. This is because government funding does not fully cover the costs of running a centre and resourcing it properly. Most kindys charge between $2 and $5 per (morning or afternoon) session per child to cover their operational costs.
Refer to the "20 Hours Free ECE" article regarding Government subsidies for parents with children aged 3 years and 4 years, and enquire about its availability at your local kindy.
Despite these additional charges, they also have to rely heavily on fund-raising undertaken by the community, committee and parent helpers, so kindy may also cost you some volunteered time.
Can my child attend kindy and another ECE at the same time?
Yes. There’s absolutely no reason why your child can’t attend kindy and daycare for example. Logistically this may be challenging in terms of pick-up and drop-off, especially if you are a working parent. But ask around, there may be other parents in the same position who are willing to share the task. Some day-cares do provide a drop off and pick-up service, but may charge extra for this.
If your child does attend daycare, making the decision to have them also attend kindy can be a difficult one due to the logistics involved. Some of the reasons parents choose this option are related to -
* cost – it may save you money to have your child attend kindy
* school-readiness – at many other ECE services the teacher/child ratio is likely to be 4-5 children to one teacher. This ratio dramatically changes at kindys where it is more likely to be 1 teacher to 15 or so children. This may better prepare your child for the primary school classroom where they must deal with less one-on-one teacher contact.
What will my child need to take?
This will depend a little on the kindy your child attends. Some kindys have shared morning and afternoon tea for which the parents contribute a healthy item of food daily or weekly. For example, you may be asked to bring a piece of fruit each day for the fruit basket.
For the most part you’ll need to prepare a backpack with the following:
* small lunch box and drink bottle
* sun hat
* sun cream
* a change of clothes, and plastic bag to hold the dirty clothes
What else do I need to know?
Some kindys require that your child be toilet trained before they attend kindy, and some kindys do not require your child to be toilet trained. Please check the requirements of your local kindy.
In addition, it’s helpful if you can send them in shoes which are easy for them to get on and off themselves (i.e. with Velcro or elastic tops). Shoes with laces become very time consuming for teachers when taking a group of children outside to play!
A kindergarten, or kindy as a lot of us know them, is an education and care centre governed by a Kindergarten Association. They are funded in exactly the same way by Government as Early Childhood Centres, with funding dependent upon how many qualified teachers are on the staff.
Traditionally, these centres were known as Free Kindergartens (i.e. available to all pre-school children), but are now more commonly known as Community Kindergartens, which reflects the enhanced partnership role of parents, whanau and the local community.
Kindys have traditionally provided part-time, sessional care for pre-schoolers (with a morning session for older children, and an afternoon session for the youngsters), but increasingly more and more kindergartens now provide an "all day" (i.e. up to 6 hours/day) service for each child. Check with your local kindy on their service offerings.
What ages does a kindergarten cater for?
Most kindys enrol children aged between two and five years, but placement is subject to availability. A quick phone call to your local kindy will enable you to find out at what age they are accepting children.
A word of warning: kindys are usually very popular, and often operate Waiting Lists. Their popularity is related to both their relatively low cost and their high quality education. We therefore strongly recommend that you get your child added to the waiting list well before you want them to start, or you may find that your child will not be able to gain entry until they are 3.5 or 4 years old.
At kindy the children are traditionally divided into two groups:
* older children attend morning sessions five-days-a-week. These sessions generally run between 8.30am and 12pm; and
* younger children attend afternoon sessions three-days-a-week which, for the most part run between 1pm and 3.15pm
But there is increasingly an "all day"service (i.e. 6 hour session x 4 days, and 4.25 hour session x 1 day each week).
Again, these are guidelines and can vary from kindy to kindy. The best place to find out about session times is from your local kindy.
The age at which children start and the age at which they move up a group will vary from kindy to kindy. There are no legal requirements or rules that apply across the country. The only legal requirement related to age at kindy, is that your child must be enrolled and attending a primary school by the age of six years.
How does kindergarten differ from other service providers?
Kindy is different from other ECE services in several ways.
* One of the biggest differences is the fact that all kindergarten teachers must be registered teachers. This means holding a Diploma in Teaching (ECE) or similar qualification, with a minimum of three years training.
* Cost-wise there is a noticeable difference. Kindy is, for the most part, government funded and costs parents roughly $2 - $5 per morning or aftersession. The fees are compulsory, enforced by a debt collection policy, the same as all other ECE centres.
* The ratio of teachers to children differs greatly. At kindys the ratio is around 1 teacher : 15 children, whereas it sits around 1 teacher : 5 children at other services.
* Kindy caters for children from 2 years through to 5 years of age, when they begin attending primary school. (In 2009, Government will raise the earliest starting date for kindy children to 2.5 years.) Other services cater for a broader age group including toddlers and babies.
* Kindy is part-time education. This can be difficult for working parents. The majority of other services provide full-time education and care.
What will my child learn?
In New Zealand we have an early childhood curriculum called Te Whaariki. This curriculum sets out the learning experiences and goals for children before they reach school age. The overriding aim of Te Whaariki is for children:
“to grow up as competent and confident learners and communicators, healthy in mind, body and spirit, secure in their sense of belonging and in the knowledge that they make a valued contribution to society”
To help achieve this, kindergarten aims to provide environments for our children that create trust and foster their confidence. Children are encouraged to give things a go and to become active in their own learning.
Teachers plan learning programmes around the children’s interests at the time. As we all know, if our children are interested in something, they will be encouraged to participate for longer and consequently derive greater value from the experience.
There’s a lot of dramatic play and activity at kindergarten that allows the children to learn important social lessons about equal roles and equal rights for everyone.
Children are also encouraged to use language to communicate. They are taught to let others know how they are feeling and what their needs are by talking to them. The expression “Use your words” will be commonly heard – especially when encouraging youngsters not to hit or get frustrated. Your child will also be taught to stand up for themselves verbally, by learning phrases such as "Stop it, I don't like it".
The older children in the morning sessions will also learn to be “school ready”. They will become used to “mat time”, sitting quietly and listening, following the teacher’s instructions, and “playing nicely” with other children. They will also learn the basics of numbers and letters, and probably be able to write their name. They will also become familiar with books and reading, which will lay the foundations for their primary schooling.
How are kindergartens run?
Kindys are run by a committee made up of parents and people from the community. You can get involved on a day-to-day level by taking the opportunity to join the committee, or become a volunteer helper or fundraiser.
At a higher level, each kindy committee is answerable to the local kindergarten association. For example, the largest association in the country is the Auckland Kindergarten Association, which is responsible for 107 kindys in the greater Auckland region. The Associations take a strong governance and management role, and are responsible for the quality of education and financial control in each kindy.
What will it cost me?
Kindys will charge a fee at the beginning of each term. This is because government funding does not fully cover the costs of running a centre and resourcing it properly. Most kindys charge between $2 and $5 per (morning or afternoon) session per child to cover their operational costs.
Refer to the "20 Hours Free ECE" article regarding Government subsidies for parents with children aged 3 years and 4 years, and enquire about its availability at your local kindy.
Despite these additional charges, they also have to rely heavily on fund-raising undertaken by the community, committee and parent helpers, so kindy may also cost you some volunteered time.
Can my child attend kindy and another ECE at the same time?
Yes. There’s absolutely no reason why your child can’t attend kindy and daycare for example. Logistically this may be challenging in terms of pick-up and drop-off, especially if you are a working parent. But ask around, there may be other parents in the same position who are willing to share the task. Some day-cares do provide a drop off and pick-up service, but may charge extra for this.
If your child does attend daycare, making the decision to have them also attend kindy can be a difficult one due to the logistics involved. Some of the reasons parents choose this option are related to -
* cost – it may save you money to have your child attend kindy
* school-readiness – at many other ECE services the teacher/child ratio is likely to be 4-5 children to one teacher. This ratio dramatically changes at kindys where it is more likely to be 1 teacher to 15 or so children. This may better prepare your child for the primary school classroom where they must deal with less one-on-one teacher contact.
What will my child need to take?
This will depend a little on the kindy your child attends. Some kindys have shared morning and afternoon tea for which the parents contribute a healthy item of food daily or weekly. For example, you may be asked to bring a piece of fruit each day for the fruit basket.
For the most part you’ll need to prepare a backpack with the following:
* small lunch box and drink bottle
* sun hat
* sun cream
* a change of clothes, and plastic bag to hold the dirty clothes
What else do I need to know?
Some kindys require that your child be toilet trained before they attend kindy, and some kindys do not require your child to be toilet trained. Please check the requirements of your local kindy.
In addition, it’s helpful if you can send them in shoes which are easy for them to get on and off themselves (i.e. with Velcro or elastic tops). Shoes with laces become very time consuming for teachers when taking a group of children outside to play!
Monday, October 20, 2008
CHILDREN ANGRY
Here are some things to think about as you and you daughter strive to develop new skills for dealing with anger:
. Expect anger. Many of us have learned that anger is a bad emotion which good people don't have. When we operate on this premise, we tend to use denial and suppression when our inevitable angry feelings arise. Then when we can't contain it any longer, we blow up and feel out of control. If we can learn that anger exists as one in a range of healthy emotions, we can be more accepting of our own and our children's angry feelings. This allows us to be more conscious and in control of how we choose to express our anger.
. Think about where your daughter's anger is coming from. At one time or another most parents try to "take the blame" for their children's anger. When our kids start yelling at us and calling us names we go straight to the places we feel the most guilty. "Maybe, I haven't set enough limits with her." "Maybe I've set too many." "Maybe I don't even know how to set appropriate limits." Or, "I haven't been spending enough time with her." And then we tend to respond with anger at our child for "making us feel guilty." While it may be true that our kids would enjoy and benefit from more time with us, that is probably only a small part, if any, of what they are really upset about. They may be feeling frustrated with things in school: friendships, homework, whether they will get picked for a team. They may be feeling the push for independence and the best way they can think to establish it is to actively push away from us. If we can avoid "taking it personally," we may be better able to help our children sort out their complicated feelings and prevent our own anger from building up.
. Remember that anger is often a secondary emotion. Children and other people often choose anger as the vehicle to express a number of other emotions. Somehow, anger doesn't leave us feeling as vulnerable as sadness, fear, frustration, rejection, or confusion. If we treat our children's raging outbursts only as a sign of anger, we may miss many other important feelings they are trying to express. If you stay with a child who is "angry" and manage to keep your own anger from building up, you will most often discover more feelings underneath your child's anger, after the "steam has been burned off." You can even invite your child to think about other feelings she may be having as she starts to wind down. "I know you have been feeling very mad. I wonder if you have any other feelings." or "As well as looking mad, you also look sad."
This can be useful to remember for ourselves, as well as for our children. When we look under our own angry feelings, we are likely to find feelings of inadequacy, guilt, fear, sadness, frustration and confusion.
. Work to figure out what you can and can't control. When our children are in the middle of an angry outburst, often our first urge is to try to "stop" their feelings. As many of us have discovered, that is usually not possible. We still have an enormous amount of control, however, because we can control how we respond. If you can get enough perspective on your daughter's feelings that you don't end up mad yourself, you can help her through her struggle. If you do get mad yourself, you still get to control how you express your anger (and other feelings.) "I feel hurt when you call me names and say I don't care about you. I want to hear about how you are feeling. Can you tell me in another way?" "I can't let you throw breakable things when you are mad, but I do want to know how you are feeling. Let's figure out something else for you to do that is safe and still feels like a good way to express your feelings."
. Remember that you can prevent the build-up of anger, as well as learn positive ways to express it. Once we acknowledge that we do, indeed, experience feelings of anger, we can begin to recognize the build-up of our anger. If anger is a "10" we can learn to read if we are moving from a 2 to a 4 to a 6 and can do some things to express our feelings before we are at full-blown fury. "I'm feeling really frustrated by your yelling right now. I'm going to go into my room to take a break. I'll be back in 5 minutes if you want to talk to me then." "I don't want to be called those names. If you can tell me how your are feeling in a different way, I would like to stay and listen. If not, I'm going to go into the kitchen to start working on dinner. When you can talk to me without calling me names, come on in and we'll finish this conversation." You may need to remind your child of the limit (several times), but if you understand that she needs to figure out if you really mean it, you may be able to muster the patience to keep reminding her without getting furious yourself.
As well as averting your own anger in a moment of confrontation, you can also think about how to keep yourself in good emotional shape. What is it that helps you feel better about yourself and stronger as a parent? Taking time for yourself? Spending time with friends? Exercise? Movies? Gardening? Hiking? Seeing a therapist regularly? Getting a massage? The better shape you are in the easier it will be to learn positive ways to deal with your anger.
. Discuss the topic of anger with your daughter. It is very helpful to talk with your daughter about anger when you are not in the middle of a heated conflict. Tell her that you want both of you to learn better, safer, non-hurtful ways to express your anger. Brainstorm with her some different possibilities. You might come up with guidelines like, "You can raise your voice as long as you don't say hurtful things. If you accidentally say hurtful things, you can take them back and try again." You can bang on the couch cushions with the plastic bat, but no throwing things or hitting people." Only you and she will be able to come up with the best ways to safely and effectively express your feelings.
. Practice, make a plan. Once you and your daughter figure out the guidelines for anger in your family, you can practice. You could even use puppets or stuffed animals to pretend with.
. Don't be afraid to say you are sorry. Even with the best-laid plans, we may still fall into old habits. Remember that you can always apologize and think together about a better way you could have expressed what you were feeling.
. Talk to parents you admire. If you have a hard time thinking of ways to express anger positively, check in with parents or other friends you admire. Ask them if they have discovered healthy ways to deal with anger.
Friday, October 17, 2008
7 PATH YOUR CHILD'S SUCCESS: Teacher Tips
If you want your child to do well in school, there are several things that you as a parent can do to enhance his or her opportunities. Many of these are common sense items, but go often over-looked in this world of latch key children and hurry, hurry.
When my children, who see me reading for pleasure often, ask me why Mommy thinks reading is so important, I reply, "Smart people read."
Finally: One would think that this would be an already known fact, but it doesn't appear to be. So here goes -- if you want your child to be successful in school, and ultimately grow up and be a successful adult, one of the most basic things that a parent or guardian can do is ensure that your child is not only going to school, but is actually attending his or her classes!
In this day and age, especially when the majority of parents work (both of them), it is easy to either see your children off on the bus, or even drop them off at school, and assume that he or she is attending class. However, in some cases, once that bus or parent drives away, so does the authority that got the child to school in the first place. It is easy for the older child, once at school, to leave. It is also relatively easy for the child to have a note or backup plan when and if the school calls home or attempts to contact the parent or guardian.
Please check with your child's teacher (or teachers, as the case may be) to ensure that
your child is regularly attending class. You would be surprised at how eager most teachers are to help you child succeed -- just as you will be surprised when you get a poor progress report, only to discover that your child has not regularly been attending class!
- Ensure that your child is getting an adequate amount of sleep. I would venture to say that about half of my students do not get more than five or six hours of sleep each night. I currently have a student that averages only two hours per night, because he is working a full time job in addition to attending high school. At the beginning of each school term, I survey my students. Many of them work more than twenty hours each week. Of the students that do work, most of them are working only for spending money or to maintain a car, not to assist the family. If you allow your child to work, limit the number of hours each week that he or she can work to no more than 8 or 10. I recommend that a child not be allowed to work while attending high school. Save it for the summer.
- Ensure that your child is following a proper diet. Too many times children are left to their own devices when it comes to deciding what to eat. Moms and dads often both work outside of the home, and are often too tired at the end of the day to prepare a nutritious meal. Children will go the quick and easy route. Sometimes parents go the quick and easy route. I know several students who subsist on a diet of fast food and junk food. All of us require proper nutrition for optimum health, but this is especially true of children who still have growing bodies. If you are too busy or too tired to ensure that your child is eating nutritious, balanced meals, then try round robin meals with a friend or neighbor, or ask the child to keep a food log. Also, ensure that the child is eating more than one meal a day -- lots of my students skip break- fast so they can sleep later, and skip lunch because they are only allowed a minimum amount of time to eat at school and they would rather socialize.
- Know your child's teachers. As a teacher and a parent, I know that not every child will get along with every teacher, and vice versa. Be involved -- check with your child's school (the counselor or the principal is a good place to start) to see if your child can be moved to another teacher. If you know your child is a visual learner, and has an auditory teacher, then obviously your child isn't under optimum learning conditions.
- Know your child's friends. Stay on top of who your child is friends with. Peer pressure has an amazing stronghold on most children. Invite the children to your house, allow them to stay for diner, have sleepovers, and take them with you on fun days. If your child is friends with kids who place family and academics in high priority, then chances are your child will too. If your child is hanging around with known drinkers and drug users, it is a safe bet that your child is at least experimenting with the same. Place restrictions on your child.
- Know the parents of your child's friends. Even through high school, children look up to the adults they are around. Children often mimic the behaviors of their parents -- if Mom and/or Dad smoke, it is a good chance that the child will too.
- Lead by example. Be the kind of adult that you want your child to be. If you want your child to be educated, ensure that you are educated -- let your child see you learning. Don't drink and smoke if you don't want your child to do so. Don't have sex outside of marriage if you expect your child to be chaste.
- One of the best things you can do if you want your child to do well in school is read to him or her every day when they are small -- several times throughout the day if at all possible. Almost all students who enjoy reading the most are those that say they were read to lots when they were small.
When my children, who see me reading for pleasure often, ask me why Mommy thinks reading is so important, I reply, "Smart people read."
Finally: One would think that this would be an already known fact, but it doesn't appear to be. So here goes -- if you want your child to be successful in school, and ultimately grow up and be a successful adult, one of the most basic things that a parent or guardian can do is ensure that your child is not only going to school, but is actually attending his or her classes!
In this day and age, especially when the majority of parents work (both of them), it is easy to either see your children off on the bus, or even drop them off at school, and assume that he or she is attending class. However, in some cases, once that bus or parent drives away, so does the authority that got the child to school in the first place. It is easy for the older child, once at school, to leave. It is also relatively easy for the child to have a note or backup plan when and if the school calls home or attempts to contact the parent or guardian.
Please check with your child's teacher (or teachers, as the case may be) to ensure that
your child is regularly attending class. You would be surprised at how eager most teachers are to help you child succeed -- just as you will be surprised when you get a poor progress report, only to discover that your child has not regularly been attending class!
Thursday, October 16, 2008
EDUCATION TIPS : Management Conflicts
Right now the process of advocating for your child seems overwhelming. There are new relationships to build, meetings to go to, and inevitable conflicts to negotiate. And then there’s the challenge of your child’s file. Remember as you gain experience the whole process will seem less daunting. Here are a few pointers to help you develop your skills in the some crucial areas. Remember, there’s no substitute for practice, but hopefully these quick tips will help you get started on the right foot.
Building Relationships
Knowing how to deal with people can make all the difference in successfully negotiating for your child. Here are some tips on how to deal with some of the more challenging individuals you might run into as you advocate:
- The job of a gatekeeper is to keep people from bothering their superiors with unnecessary questions. Remember that they’re doing their job, even when they’re making your job much more difficult. Getting angry with them won’t help. Try to present your case to them logically and be persistent. Call as many times a you need to in order to make headway, but always be polite.
- Make sure you have yourself under control whenever you engage in a conversation with anyone at your child’s school.
- Making people feel at ease with you is an incredible skill.
- When suggesting new ideas, do not attack. Acknowledge the power and skills of the person on the other side. Suggest that your ideas might make things go smoother, but do not insist. Be firm and confident, but not overly aggressive.
- Listen to people who know what they’re talking about, but make sure you know enough yourself to be certain of the accuracy of their statements. If you don’t know if what they’ve said is true, ask for some time to research.
- Seek to maintain a business relationship with your child’s school. Don’t bring too much personal information into your relationships.
- Remember that you are an outsider to the school culture. Treat it with respect. Even if you think you know all there is to know, someone will undoubtedly surprise you.
- Many school systems feel threatened by someone who is assertive and knowledgeable. When you speak or bring up points in writing, try to keep from threatening the knowledge or credibility of any members on your child’s team.
Meetings
Meetings. They can be frustrating and terrifying. And yet, they can be the center of action for your child’s education. Learn to use them to the best of your advantage:
- Try to keep the conversation focused. Don’t allow the meeting to derail.
- Be positive. Suggest solutions. Don’t wait for someone else to come up with the next idea.
- Go to meetings with support. When both parents are present, they are more formidable and powerful opponents. If your spouse cannot be present, enlist another family member or friend to go with you.
- Suggest tape recording the meeting. Check your state’s regulations on this before suggesting it to the school.
- Treat everyone in the room, including yourself, with respect.
- Make eye contact.
- Don’t let yourself be rushed or bulldozed if you are running out of time. You can always schedule another meeting.
- Always debrief after the meeting. Write down what you remember, including key points and important resolutions. Add your own opinions. Do this immediately.
- Write a thank you. Use it not only to thank the school for their time and concern, but also as an opportunity to reiterate any open issues and key decisions.
Resolving Conflicts
Negotiating with your child’s school is not always easy. Here are a few pointers that might help you get what you want without making enemies.
- Don’t forget that in a lot of conflicts, both sides can be right.
- Keep in mind that many school systems fear the expense of special education programs.
- Try to see your requests from their side. Ask yourself how you and your child appear to the school. How can you bring both views into line?
- Always approach conflict with civility and respect for the person on the other side. Never seek to blame or find fault. Do not speak with scorn.
- Ask lots of questions so that you can understand the point of view from the other side. This will help you find solutions advantageous to both sides.
- Try to make your child seem as “real” as possible. Tell about your experiences with your child as a way to help people understand what your child really needs.
- Compromise may be the key to getting most of what you want, even if you can’t get all of what you want. (A good argument for making a plan that prioritizes what you want for your child.)
- Keep a paper trail. Even though litigation is never anyone’s first choice, being prepared for it can save you a lot of trouble later.
The FILE
The most important thing you can do in your efforts as an advocate is to keep records. And to keep them organized. Documentation is the only way you can truly know the progress your child is making and the way he is being treated by the school system. Documentation is also the only way you’ll be able to convince your child’s team of the validity of your child’s needs. When you develop your child’s file, keep the following pointers in mind:
- Keep a list of all the people who have ever seen your child for whatever reason. You can organize your list by services, for example, medical, psychological, etc. You can even be more detailed if your child has particular needs by organizing by specialty, for example, ophthalmology.
- Get a complete record of all your child’s medical files. You usually need to send a written request.
- Get a complete record of your child’s educational files. Again, you usually need to send a written request.
- Make copies. Never give your originals to anyone.
- Date all documents and file them in chronological order. This makes accessibility easy. You don’t have to remember the name of the doctor, clinic, or school.
- If you make notes (like dating) on your documents, use pencil.
- Use a three-ring notebook, so that you can easily add or access documents.
- Create a table of contents so that you know what you have.
- Add new information to your file immediately.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)