A mother was scolding her teenage daughter for her careless hairdo. "You modern girls don't care how you look. Your hair looks worse than a mop." To which the daughter inquired innocently, "What's a mop?"
The father of four cleared the room of toys and chuckled to the minister who was visiting, "Since I've been a married, Ive learned what Paul meant by saying, "When I became a man, I put away childish things,' "
A critical neighbor was speaking of the spoiled palyboy who lived next door. "He went to college and received a B.A., but his M.A. and his P.A. still support him."
A love struck 17-year-old was begging his father to sign for his marriage license. "Don't worry about me making a living, Dad. Two can live as cheaply as one!" "I'm sure two can. Your mother and I have lived as cheaply as you for some time now."
The motto of a single mother: Look like a girl, act like a lady, think like a man, and work like a dog.
A single mother was giving her daughter piano lessons every day of the week. One day a man knocked on the door. "Who are you?" the single mom asked. "Jones, the piano tuner." "But I didn't send for you," she protested. "No, but the couple in the apartment upstairs did."
Sammy was practicing his violin lesson while the next door neighbor's hound dog howled pitifully. The neighbor took all he could and finally came over to talk to Sammy's parents. "Please, can't the boy play something the dog doesn't know?"
Two scientists were debating the possibility of life on Jupiter. "I'm sure there's no life ther," said one. "It's never been listed on my daughter's cell phone bills."
A young mother pushed her baby in a stroller while the baby wailed loudly. A child psychologist met her while walking his dog and heard her saying, "Be calm, Margie. Take it easy Margie!" "Young lady," he said, "I congratulate you on knowing how to calm babies." The he leaned over the stroller and said, "Hi Margie. You're a cute little cry baby." "No! No! the mother shrieked, "Im Margie. She's Beverly."
The brown's little baby was quiet and never spoke. The child remained that way until it was six. The one day at the table, the child said distinctly, "Pass the potatoes." Mr. Brown and his wife were flabbergasted. He said, "You've never spoken before. Why did you do it now?" "Didn't need anything until now," the kid said.
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