Every school year parents and students dutifully trudge through the malls in search of the perfect sneaker or the cool new outfit for the coming school year. However, it's unlikely that the new shoe or shirt will benefit them as much as a new design in the bedroom. That's because a bedroom makeover will create new interest and energy - what feng shui calls "chi" - in the bedroom that will benefit a child.
According to feng shui, the Chinese technique for design and arrangement, rooms that have good energy, or "chi", create happier, well-adjusted children. Feng shui theories suggest that for a child's room to have good "chi," the room must follow certain guidelines such as that they must be restful, promote good relationships others and generate good self-esteem. Perhaps most importantly, harmonious children's bedrooms encourage good study habits and promote greater success in school.
What does it take to promote greater success in school? According to feng shui, the following seven tips are key to creating rooms that inspire kids to study.
1. The room has a desk.
It sounds obvious, but many kids' only workspace is either a bed, the bedroom floor, or the family dining table. Every child needs a suitable study area in the bedroom that includes a desk, chair, and a lamp. Children with study areas are more likely to study. Better still, having a study area keeps all the school books and papers confined to the child's room. Feng shui also believes it's best for children to study facing the northeast, the direction of wisdom and learning.
2. Ground your kids.
Buy your kids a globe to promote interest in geography and to help "ground" them and encourage them to study. Add a globe in the Northeast corner of the bedroom, if possible.
3. Create an achievement corner.
Every child needs to have recognition for a job well done. A perfect way to gain this is to create an achievement corner on the South wall of the bedroom. According to feng shui, this is the recognition area and is a good place to pin up awards, papers with good grades, letters of recommendation, ribbons or trophies.
4. Hang a crystal in the Northeast corner of the room.
Crystals are used to make computer chips faster. Hang a crystal in the study location to create more "study" chi and to help sharpen the child's ability to "process" or think!
5. Put your child in the command position.
Avoid having children face a wall when studying because this represents an obstacle. They should be able to see the door when someone enters.
6. Display maps and other educational artwork.
Maps are another way to ground educational pursuits. They encourage "worldly" interest and curiosity and they make suitable images for a child's room. Avoid scary creatures, pictures depicting violence, or sad or dark subjects.
7. Eliminate TV from the bedroom.
Sadly many of today's children have TVs in their bedrooms. This is a feng shui no-no because it can make children much less likely to study and rest fully. If your child doesn't study as much as you would like and has a TV in the bedroom, ask yourself what is more important: television or school?
8. Shells and fish are symbols of education.
Conch shells and koi or goldfish are excellent symbols of educational success. Place the conch shell in the Northeast corner of the bedroom. Or, hang a picture of koi or goldfish in the Northeast corner. It is not recommended to keep live fish in the bedroom as water in the bedroom is associated with loss.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Back to School Feng Shui
Ultimate Airplane Themed Games & Activities for your Childs Birthday Party
Are you looking for the Ultimate Airplane Themed Party Games and Activities? Well stop looking because they are right here...
Good Luck and happy reading...
"Paper Airplane Contest" Have each child make a paper airplane. Depending on the age of the children, you can either have them create their own, follow a pattern or make them ahead of time. Have various contests, such as, longest flight, highest flight, furthest from a target, best crash, most flips, largest flip, etc. Provide enough categories to allow each child to win a prize.
"Pin the Pilot on the Plane" Draw or copy a picture of a plane on a large piece of paper. Draw an outline where the pilot should be sitting. Make a different pilot for each child and either put a number or name on the pilot to identify the child. You can also cut out a picture of your child and paste him on the pilot's head. Using double face tape, blindfold one guest at a time, spin them around and have them try to place the pilot in the correct location. The child closest is the winner.
"Airplane Search" Fill a large container (swimming pool, sandbox, large bowl, etc work best) with packing peanuts. Put enough die cast airplanes in the container so each child finds one. One at a time, have the children find an airplane. You can time them and see who finds the airplane the fastest. This airplane can go home with them in their goody bag.
"Jet Race" To play this wonderful game, mark a target on the ground a short distance away or make a finish line on the floor with tape. Make a starting line and blow up a balloon for each child. For added effects, place airplane stickers on the balloons. To begin, count down from three. When you say go, each child tries to land his or her "jet" inside the target, or cross the finish line, by tossing or hitting it.
"Musical Planes" Here is one of the children's favorite games. To setup, you need enough airplane cutouts for every child minus one. Check out our Airplane pictures and clipart for some ideas. Place them in a circle so the children have enough room to walk around them. Place the children on the outside of the airplanes and make sure they aren't stepping on them yet. When the music starts, the children will walk around the airplanes. As soon as the music stops, the children have to sit on one of the airplanes. Whoever isn't sitting on an airplane is out. Remove one airplane and continue the game until one child remains.
"Obstacle Course" This game is best played outside in a large open area. Create a runway using masking tape, chalk, cones, etc to mark the boundaries. It should be around 50 feet long and 10 feet wide to allow enough room for the children to maneuver their planes. Get some non-breakable items, such as, bouncy balls, sports balls, tin cans, clothing, toys, blankets, etc. These items are going to represent other planes on the runway.
Next, pair up the children. One child will need to be the pilot and the other will be the air traffic controller. The air traffic controller's job is to guide the pilot (blindfolded) down the runway without running into any other plane (non-breakable items).
How to play: the first pilot stands at the end of the runway with their arms stretched out like a plane. The air traffic controller can stand anywhere along the runway, but the best position is behind the pilot. This will eliminate any confusion when they are using the commands left and right.
Once the pilot is blindfolded, all the other children can throw more objects on the runway to make the challenge even more difficult. After the children have added the extra planes, the controller guides the pilot down the runway using commands like, "Take two steps forward", "One step left", "Two large steps to the left".
If the child crashed, the next team will get to take a turn. Award the team who made it the farthest on the runway, without crashing, a prize.
"Sleep/Stand!" This a great modified game of the old time favorite, Simon Says. Have the children line up and face you, or whoever the caller is. There are only two sayings the children have to listen for: I say sleep or I say stand. When you say, "I say sleep" the children must lie down and pretend to sleep or when you say, "I say stand" the children must stand up. If you say a command without, "I say" and the children do it, then they are out. As the game progresses, say the commands faster. The children will be going up and down so fast they won't even hear the "I say" part. It's a great game and packed full of laughs!
"Where's the Cake?" Children always love to go on a mission to find "something" and this game will definitely be a treat for them. This game is going to require help from friends and be under a lot of adult supervision. Separate the children into two teams and give each team a set of clues and party favors to find. Give each child a bag to put the favors in and make sure that each guest has at least one favor. The clues and favors should lead the children to the cake. Whichever team finds the cake first gets to be served first!
"Airport Field Trip" How cool would this activity be? Do you live near a small municipal airport? A lot of airports will allow you to bring a group of children for a tour of the facility. Give them a call and see if you can plan one during some airplane take-offs and landings. The kids will love this experience and they'll talk about for months!
By Geoff Schurman
The Seven Keys of Being a Father
Is there a fathering instinct?
Celebrated child development expert Erik Erikson maintains that adults have a fierce desire to protect and nurture the next generation. This is the generative nature of parenting- to nurture and protect the next generation
We recognise this desire in women as the maternal instinct. Men's strong desire to look after the next generation is best recognised through their protective instincts. Man as hunter and gatherer has always had the survival of his family and community as a motivating force.
But the generative notion of fathering extends way beyond protection of children. Generative fathering means that men help the next generation not just to survive, but to thrive and grow. It is in the wellbeing of the next generation that traditionally men have left their mark.
This generative or instinctive notion of fathering has been lost in recent years as men have spent less time around their children. Fathers may be born to the task of raising children but they need to be around children so they can nudge fathering out them.
Too often fathers see themselves as playing a role, when the essence of fathering is actually embedded in their own psyche and linked to their child's development. According to Erikson there are seven tasks that a father carries out to ensure the well-being of the next generation. It is a brilliant framework that helps men move away from playing roles and gets them to focus on the needs of their children. The seven tasks of fathering, also known as fatherwork, are:
1. Ethical work: Men commit to acting in a child's best interests. Research shows that when men make a strong commitment to look after the well-being of their baby then they will sustain long-term involvement and support for their child. Ethical work is shown when men make decisions about work and careers with their children's best interests in mind.
2. Stewardship work: This aspect of fathering involves men providing for children and also helping them develop the resources and independence to look after themselves. In many ways this shows itself when dads take on a teaching role, which tend to do when they spend time with kids. Listen to a man when he interacts with his son and inevitably he will be showing him how to do something, even if it is how to kick a football.
3. Developmental work: This aspect of fathering refers to the notion of helping children deal with either sudden change, such as a death in the family, or normal developmental changes, such as moving into adolescence. Dads who do this work well support their children though difficulties and respond with understanding to changes in children's development.
4. Recreational work: This aspect refers to men's promotion of relaxation and learning for their children through play. This aspect of fathering tends to be a strong point for many dads, who are the kings of play. It is well-recognised that men play differently with children than mothers, which is fixed in the biological matrix. Men's domain is rough play, sometimes destructive play and often involves a challenge whether intellectual (e.g chess) or physical.
5. Spiritual work: This aspect of fathering involves men helping children develop values and a set of beliefs that will act as a compass as they move through adolescence and beyond. This involves counselling, teaching and advising. Many readers may remember their own fathers delivering stern lectures, which comes from this aspect of fathering. Good intentions, but poor delivery.
6. Relationship work: This aspect of fathering involves men helping children and young people form relationships and friendships. We do this by sharing our love and thoughts, by displaying empathy and understanding for a child and also by facilitating a child's relationships with others. In recent times men have stayed out of this area but it is a part of fatherwork.
7. Mentoring: We complete the cycle by ensuring that we support our own children in their own generative work. This involves giving help, support and ideas for our own children when they move into adulthood. In recent years men have fallen down badly in this area as too many men have shallow relationships with their own fathers.
This framework for fathering has depth and breadth. It works on an instinctive level, but many influences come to bear to prevent this instinct and intuition from informing our action. Often it is useful to ask yourself - "What does this situation with my child require of me?" If a child is having friendship issues at school then relationship work is needed. If a child is feeling stressed and needs to relax then it is time for recreational work. If a child gets worked up through play then it is important to do some stewardship work and ensure a child calms down and regains control before bed. If a child is changing schools then it time for some developmental work, to help him or her cope with change.
If you are a father (mothers can do the same thing), reflect on some of the interactions that you have with children, and determine in which area of fatherwork do they fit. You will find that there is an area for each situation. As you respond to children's needs think about the type of fatherwork you are doing. You will soon discover that you are involved in a variety of very important work. And it will change the way you think about fathering and provide a strong guide to how you should respond to children's future needs.
How to Put Your Kids (Or Grandkids) On the Fast Track to Success
Working with adults (as well as children and teens) for the past 12 years I have noticed that there are just a few primary struggles that most adults face. I also see how better training as a child and teen could have given them the skills and attitudes that would have prevented the problems that they now face.
The primary areas adults struggle with are
1. Money, primarily debt
2. Lack of disciple, or the inability to do what they want to do, be it weight, money, work etc.
3. Relationships
As I see it, much of the way we live our lives is groomed as we grow up. And while we can certainly change, it is harder to do the older we get. This can cut both ways: If we are taught correctly we have a high chance of succeeding as adults and if we are taught poorly, there is a high chance that we will continue those poor habits into adulthood and face many difficulties. The good news? We can put our kids on the fast track to success by diligently applying some basic success skills. To get you started, I've brainstormed some ways you can head off your children's problems years before they face them. Here we go!
To have successful relationships:
Show them unconditional love. No matter what, we are to welcome and love our children. This does not mean that we won't get mad at them from time to time or that we won't discipline them when they cross the line. It means that we will always accept them and treat them with the respect they deserve as human beings, no matter what they have done. It means we do not hold grudges against them. We can disagree or even verbally tangle, but then we bury the hatchet and accept one another.
Teach them manners. There are acceptable ways of behaving. Unfortunately, many people today do not know them! Teach your children how to behave so that others are treated well and do not have to put up with our misbehavior. Why? Because they won't put up with it anyway. Many people will simply write you off and never tell you why.
Help them learn to forgive. Most of the relationship problems I work with boil down to this: The people simply will not forgive one another and continue to hold past wrongs against the other person. Here is the fact, and you have to teach this to your kids: People will wrong you. It is what we do with that and how we react that will determine the health of the relationship in the future.
Help them to be able to focus on and serve others. Many parents make their kid feel like they are the center of the universe. One problem with this: They aren't! The world doesn't revolve around your kids and they can't get their way all of the time. What happens later on in life when little Johnny (who was the center of the universe growing up) marries little Suzie (The center of another universe growing up)? You got it, problems! Now they have to share a universe! Instead we should teach our children to help others. We should teach them to consider other people's interests as more important than our own.
To have successful finances:
Make them EARN money. Sure you can give your kids money - we do. But we should also teach them to earn money. We should give them opportunity to earn money. I don't think a kid should get an allowance for doing chores. Chores are the responsibility of being part of the family. But you can give them extra jobs so they can understand fully the hard work they put in and appreciate the value of the money they receive. This will cause them to handle it better.
Have them give money away. Greed works its wonders on some of the nicest people. That is what I have found. And the best way to break greed is to give money away. Our children give away 10% of every dollar they get. This builds generosity into their hearts. We have been doing it so long that it is just a part of them. How can you be greedy about something you are giving away? And when you give it away you can see the good that it does to the people and organizations you help. (One side story: When my son was younger and got one dollar a week in allowance he would give a dime away. He suggested it would be a good thing if he started getting two dollars - because then he would be able to give two dimes away. I don't know if he was being generous or shrewd!)
Teach them about investing. Yesterday I sat in the car explaining the law of supply and demand with my ten year old. Now he knows what something is "worth." Now he knows why Beanie Babies are so expensive but a very efficient way of separating poor investors from their money. My kids hear about the old guns and butter theory (Guns represent items that appreciate and butter represents the things that melt away. Invest in appreciating assets and you can have all the butter you want later on. Invest in butter and you won't ever have the guns.) These are basic principles that will allow your kids to be financially secure and not strapped later on. They will be the lender and not the borrower.
Teach them to delay self-gratification. I touched on this in the last point. If we teach our kids to delay gratification, they can put themselves into a financial position wherein they can actually afford the item they want rather than put themselves into debt or a precarious position to get it. Besides, half the time when they wait, they don't want it in three weeks!
Teach them to never have any debt! No debt. Never. Period. Nada. Never, ever, ever. Pay cash or wait. Okay, did I get that through? Now let me be a little more temperate. Debt has created more problems I have dealt with than just about any other issue. Marriage problems, emotional problems, work problems, spiritual problems, and physical problems. We should engrain it into our kid's heads that the only acceptable debt is a home mortgage and they should be conservative with that and even pay cash if they can! I hear you, "But I can't get the car I want!" Too bad! See the guns and butter theory above! Your kids will visit your grave every week with flowers after you are gone if you love them and teach them to avoid debt.
To help them be successful in discipline:
Have them do certain tasks/chores on a regularly scheduled basis. Discipline is, well, a discipline. Teach your kids to make their beds every morning. Or do wash every Monday. Or mow the lawn every Saturday morning. Building schedules builds disciplined people who do not procrastinate, who are methodical and who are diligent. These are the people who succeed.
Let them experience discipline and consequences. Consequences are the greatest teachers! Many people who I see fail are people who have never suffered consequences. I know a gentleman who couldn't hold a job. His employers were going to fire him. He was always late and couldn't be relied upon - even by his friends. You never knew if he was telling the truth. One day I was talking to him and he said that he had never been punished or disciplined! The light went on! I finally understood. You know the old saying, "Spare the rod and spoil the child?" I say, spare the rod and you'll raise a criminal! You may not want to let little Johnny experience the pain of consequences, but his boss will let him feel it 20 years from now! Prepare him for success now by making him realize that if he doesn't do what is right, he will spend a lot of time in his room or he will miss out special things. He will grow up to be the most relied upon person in his office and he'll be the boss one day.
Don't protect them from losing. I coached little league football one year. It just so happens we were the youngest team in the league and we were terrible. One game we were getting beat 55-0 with about five minutes to play and I was getting screamed at by an irate parent. I turned to them and said, "You know. I learned some of my best lessons in 55-0 losses. I took a few of them in my athletic career, and I handed a few out too!" Sometimes we win in life, sometimes we lose. We need to learn what it feels like to lose and then get right back out there. It will prepare your kids much better to lose until they win legitimately than to win all the time. I remember one basketball game when I was on my way to about thirty points and a parent from the other team was screaming about it. My brother, who is 13 years older than me told the guy to sit down because I had earned all those point because of how many basketball thrashings I had taken at his hands through the years. Losing made me better!
Teach them to eat right and exercise. Many people struggle with their weight and it is usually because we learned bad habits as kids. We weren't that overweight when we were younger but as our metabolism slows it catches up with us. Teach your kids basic nutritional information. Teach them how Candy bars plus milk shakes plus no exercise equals trouble! When we go to the health club our kids can swim and play all they want in the pool - as soon as they finish their laps!
Teach them to make tough decisions and learn to say "no." The most powerful word in the world! We should teach our children to understand what is the most important - their priorities - and say "no" to everything else. So many people get themselves into trouble and overextended because they do not have the discipline to say "no." The reality is that you will act on an agenda - either yours or someone else's. Saying "no" enables you to stay on track. Teach them to make tough decisions because it is what is right or because it will be better in the long run, rather than on how it will make them feel.
Encourage them to risk failure and try new things. I have met so many people who were always taught to play it safe. And guess what? They are playing it safe, leading, as the quote says, "Lives of quiet desperation." Teach your kids to try new things and give them the opportunity to do so. Help them see the bigger picture when they fail, like what they can learn from the situation so they can win the next time. It is the people who risk failure and try new things who change the world and lead the lives they want to!
Pitch the TV. Okay, my soapbox: Get rid of the television. If you have to have the one-eyed monster in the house just get a monitor so you can watch videos from time to time. I haven't had a TV for 12 years - and I LOVE IT! My kids are healthy, sociable, well-adjusted, smart kids. They have creative imaginations because they have to picture everything themselves rather than rely on someone else's interpretation. They read many grade levels above where they are. They have time to do all sorts of things that they want to because they have an extra 20 hours a week (1040 hours a year) that other kids their age don't! Someday I am going to write a book on benefits and reasons to get rid of the TV because the fact is you will be much better off without it than you are with it! And so will your kids!
Childhood Obesity
Economist John Kenneth Galbraith has said that more people die in this country of too much food than of too little. It's an appalling notion - but an accurate one. As of 1999 more than 60 percent of American adults were overweight or obese - and obesity among children was increasing faster than among adults. In 2000, 22 percent of U.S. preschoolers were overweight and 10 percent clinically obese.
Nevertheless, there are many who consider obesity an individual responsibility. Writing in the Los Angeles Times in December 2001, Brian Doherty ridiculed former surgeon general David Satcher's "fat war." He called on taxpayer-funded agencies to think twice about spending Americans' money to lecture us on what he considers a matter of private health. He believes obesity is a condition "caused by freely chosen behavior" and maintains people can simply cure themselves of obesity by eating less and exercising more.
Fair enough. Everyone's entitled to an opinion. But you have to wonder if Mr. Doherty has done any research on this issue - or if he's simply speaking as someone who personally has a handle on his own "love handles." If it's the latter, he's to be congratulated for his self-discipline - but rebuked for not digging a little deeper as a journalist. After all, if the majority of people in this country have a weight problem, we need to look into the reasons why. If there are now nearly twice as many overweight children and almost three times as many overweight adolescents as there were in 1980 - and it previously took 30 years for the number of overweight American children to double - we have to admit that something, somewhere, is very wrong.
Certainly, we all wish the problem would just disappear - that it wouldn't be our problem at all. Who at one time or another hasn't wished for a simple solution to the predicaments that plague us? In this case, if everyone just took personal responsibility for her or his own weight gain, we wouldn't have to spend $100 billion dealing with obesity. And there's no doubt that personal responsibility is a good thing. But David Satcher tells us this is "the most overweight, obese generation of children in our history." Exactly whose responsibility is that? Let's think about it.
Without even taking into consideration the $100,000 paid to schools by soft drink companies to fill our children's bodies with empty calories, there's still the issue of recess and physical education disappearing from the schools. Who's making the decisions to eliminate all physical activity from the school day (where children spend most of their waking hours) despite mounting evidence that children need to move - for the health of both their bodies and their minds? Not the children. Given a choice, they'd happily choose to mix some movement into the day.
There's also the matter of loading children's days with activities that preclude "exercising more." Given a choice - and the opportunity - children might well opt to spend more of their time running, jumping, and breathing hard. But they're not being allowed to "choose freely." Rather, the adults are choosing for them - the very adults who are supposed to know what's best for them and who have been entrusted with their care and protection.
Are the children responsible for the fact that 32 percent of two- to seven-year-olds - and 65 percent of eight- to eighteen-year-olds - have TVs in their bedrooms? Is it their fault they're not born with self-limiting mechanisms - and that too often parents have forgotten how to say no? If young children were able to set their own limits with regard to television viewing and computer and video use, they'd need parents only to provide food, clothing, and shelter.
The problem is, once a child is obese because of these adult-made decisions, the odds are pretty much stacked against him. Not only are behavior patterns, like eating and physical activity habits, established in childhood (educational psychologist Benjamin Bloom contended that 90 percent of an individual's habits and traits are set by age twelve), but long-term studies have also shown that excess body fat tends to persist throughout childhood and into adulthood.
And it's no wonder. Not only will "supersized" servings confront her at every turn, but also physical activity will become an even smaller part of the overweight child's life as she gets older. This is true of children in general but is even more probable for the overweight child.
Many of us have nightmarish recollections of trying to climb the rope, or being forced to run laps until overcome with nausea, during "gym class." Surely any kind of physical activity would feel equally nightmarish to an overweight child. Even if they're inclined to move, overweight children are often physically incompetent. According to an article at the website of the International Play Equipment Manufacturers Association (IPEMA), during one study approximately 120 children ages three to ten were observed traversing an overhead ladder. The only children unable to cross the ladder successfully were obese. In another study it was determined that even children's walking patterns were affected by overweight, with obese children walking slower, asymmetrically, flat-footed, and with toes turned out. Over time these poor walking habits can result in structural deformities and damage to body tissue. And, of course, if even walking is a challenge, anything beyond that could be perceived as overwhelming.
Is it any surprise, then, that 40 percent of obese children and 70 percent of obese adolescents become obese adults? Indeed, by the time obese children are six years old, their chances of becoming obese adults are over 50 percent. It's a vicious-circle kind of problem. Lack of physical activity is a primary cause of excessive fat accumulation in children. Then, once overweight, children have a tendency to become even less physically active - a tendency that only increases in adolescence.
Sure, Richard Simmons started out as a "fat kid" and managed to overcome the odds, but he's devoted his entire life to it! Not many individuals are likely to hand over the better part of their lives to rid themselves of excessive fat accumulation acquired before they were even old enough to understand the problem.
But something must be done to ensure physical activity is a part of every child's life. Said Dr. Samuel Abate, at a childhood obesity conference sponsored by the North Dakota Department of Health: "The consequences of denying the body exercise are just as severe as depriving it of food, water, or oxygen; it just takes longer to see the consequences."
Top 25 Children Quotations
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
-- Franklin P. Adams
"A child reminds us that playtime is an essential part of our daily routine."
-- Anonymous
"Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own."
-- Aristotle
"Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them."
--James Baldwin
"The best inheritance a person can give to his children is a few minutes of his time each day "
--O. A. Battista
"Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home."
-- Bill Cosby
"There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, employ someone, or forbid your children to do it."
-- Monta Crane
"The children despise their parents until the age of 40, when they suddenly become just like them - thus preserving the system."
-- Quentin Crewe
"Your children will see what you're all about by what you live rather than what you say."
-- Wayne Dyer
"The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives."
-- Albert Einstein
"We find delight in the beauty and happiness of children that makes the heart too big for the body."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Teach your child to hold his tongue; he'll learn fast enough to speak."
-- Benjamin Franklin
"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."
-- Theodore M. Hesburgh
"I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation Where they will not be judged by the color of their skin But by the content of their character."
-- Martin Luther King, Jr.
"The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy."
-- Sam Levenson
"Children need love, especially when they don't deserve it."
-- Harold Hulbert
"If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters."
-- Jacqueline Lee Bouvier Kennedy Onassis
"Children are living jewels dropped unsustained from heaven."
-- Robert Pollok
"Good parents give their children Roots and Wings. Roots to know where home is, wings to fly away and exercise what's been taught them."
-- Jonas Salk
"While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about."
-- Angela Schwindt
"I think that maybe if women and children were in charge we would get somewhere."
--James Thurber
"Child rearing myth #1: Labor ends when the baby is born."
-- Unknown
"Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said."
--Unknown
"Children are the sum of what mothers contribute to their lives. "
--Unknown
"When you put faith, hope and love together, you can raise positive kids in a negative world."
-- Zig Ziglar
Overscheduled Kids
Time devoted the better part of an issue to it. Newsweek featured an article titled "Busy Around the Clock." Articles with titles like "Whatever Happened to Play?" "Pushing Children Too Hard," and "Are You Over-Scheduling Your kids?" show up in print media and on the Internet. Books with titles like Hyper-Parenting: Are Your Hurting Your Child by Trying Too Hard? are appearing on bookshelves.
Child development specialist David Elkind writes: "Parents are under more pressure than ever to overschedule their children and have them engage in organized sports and other activities that may be age-inappropriate." Most agree the practice is today's status symbol among families. In short, a superkid is a child pressured by parents and by society in general to do too much too soon. It's a phenomenon in our society in an escalating trend - with no end in sight. It's a frightening thought.
Writing in the magazine Child Care Information Exchange, Johann Christoph Arnold says: "The pressure to excel is undermining childhood as never before." He also asks: "Why are we so keen to mold [children] into successful adults, instead of treasuring their genuineness and carefree innocence?"
We have the best intentions, of course. We want our children to be happy; we equate happiness with success. And we fervently believe that success won't come unless we give our children a head start - a jump on the competition as it were.
But at what cost will all of this "success" come? If children don't learn to play as children, they aren't likely to discover its value as adults. And, oh, what a dreary, deadening existence daily life will become. Think about the following questions, really pondering each for a moment:
* If children begin living like adults in childhood, what will there be left to look forward to?
* What's to ensure they won't be burned out from all the pushing and pressure before they've even reached puberty?
* If we've caused them to miss the magic of childhood, how will they ever find the magic necessary to cope with the trials and tribulations of adulthood?
* What will become of the childlike nature adults call on when they need reminding of the delight found in simple things - when they need to bring out the playfulness that makes life worth living?
* What joy will our children find as adults if striving to "succeed" becomes life's sole purpose?
Childhood is not a dress rehearsal for adulthood! It is a separate, unique, and very special phase of life. And we're essentially wiping it out of existence in an effort to be sure our children get ahead. But when did we decide that life was one long race? When, exactly, did life become a competition?
Young children are not internally motivated to succeed; their only motivation comes from the value we place on success. And they don't want to let us down. As a result, stress is often a principal factor in the life of a superkid. Of course, into every life a little stress must fall. But when it becomes more than a person is capable of handling, it becomes unhealthy. Studies have shown that the brains of stressed preschoolers now look remarkably like the brains of stressed adults, which have excessive levels of adrenaline and cortisol, the chemicals responsible for the body's fight-or-flight reaction. Young children, who don't have the vocabulary or understanding to express what they're feeling, will often act out as a way of coping.
But there's more than stress involved in pushing children onto the fast track to success before they even understand the concept. For one thing, children aren't allowed to discover motivation on their own - and motivation is often more important to success than talent. Pushed children never have the opportunity to discover who they are. And they never learn to be at ease with themselves when alone, with time on their hands. Having experienced life "by the clock" - and almost constantly surrounded by others - these kids have never learned the joy of solitude, of having only oneself for company. Not only does this mean they're unable to practice self-reflection, but they're also unable to simply be.
Not long ago, in an attempt to help adults realize the folly of all work and no play, a saying began appearing on bumper stickers and in e-mails. It read: "No one ever said on his deathbed, 'I wish I'd spent more time at the office.'" Whether or not the saying had the desired effect remains to be seen, as adults appear as determined as ever to fill up their time with accomplishments. But someone had the right idea, and evidently quite a few people agreed with the sentiment. Isn't it now time to consider the same sentiment as it relates to children? Is there anyone who would say, at the conclusion of childhood, "I wish I'd had less time to play"? Who, after all, wants to look back on life and regret passing up that one and only opportunity to just be a kid?