Economist John Kenneth Galbraith has said that more people die in this country of too much food than of too little. It's an appalling notion - but an accurate one. As of 1999 more than 60 percent of American adults were overweight or obese - and obesity among children was increasing faster than among adults. In 2000, 22 percent of U.S. preschoolers were overweight and 10 percent clinically obese.
Nevertheless, there are many who consider obesity an individual responsibility. Writing in the Los Angeles Times in December 2001, Brian Doherty ridiculed former surgeon general David Satcher's "fat war." He called on taxpayer-funded agencies to think twice about spending Americans' money to lecture us on what he considers a matter of private health. He believes obesity is a condition "caused by freely chosen behavior" and maintains people can simply cure themselves of obesity by eating less and exercising more.
Fair enough. Everyone's entitled to an opinion. But you have to wonder if Mr. Doherty has done any research on this issue - or if he's simply speaking as someone who personally has a handle on his own "love handles." If it's the latter, he's to be congratulated for his self-discipline - but rebuked for not digging a little deeper as a journalist. After all, if the majority of people in this country have a weight problem, we need to look into the reasons why. If there are now nearly twice as many overweight children and almost three times as many overweight adolescents as there were in 1980 - and it previously took 30 years for the number of overweight American children to double - we have to admit that something, somewhere, is very wrong.
Certainly, we all wish the problem would just disappear - that it wouldn't be our problem at all. Who at one time or another hasn't wished for a simple solution to the predicaments that plague us? In this case, if everyone just took personal responsibility for her or his own weight gain, we wouldn't have to spend $100 billion dealing with obesity. And there's no doubt that personal responsibility is a good thing. But David Satcher tells us this is "the most overweight, obese generation of children in our history." Exactly whose responsibility is that? Let's think about it.
Without even taking into consideration the $100,000 paid to schools by soft drink companies to fill our children's bodies with empty calories, there's still the issue of recess and physical education disappearing from the schools. Who's making the decisions to eliminate all physical activity from the school day (where children spend most of their waking hours) despite mounting evidence that children need to move - for the health of both their bodies and their minds? Not the children. Given a choice, they'd happily choose to mix some movement into the day.
There's also the matter of loading children's days with activities that preclude "exercising more." Given a choice - and the opportunity - children might well opt to spend more of their time running, jumping, and breathing hard. But they're not being allowed to "choose freely." Rather, the adults are choosing for them - the very adults who are supposed to know what's best for them and who have been entrusted with their care and protection.
Are the children responsible for the fact that 32 percent of two- to seven-year-olds - and 65 percent of eight- to eighteen-year-olds - have TVs in their bedrooms? Is it their fault they're not born with self-limiting mechanisms - and that too often parents have forgotten how to say no? If young children were able to set their own limits with regard to television viewing and computer and video use, they'd need parents only to provide food, clothing, and shelter.
The problem is, once a child is obese because of these adult-made decisions, the odds are pretty much stacked against him. Not only are behavior patterns, like eating and physical activity habits, established in childhood (educational psychologist Benjamin Bloom contended that 90 percent of an individual's habits and traits are set by age twelve), but long-term studies have also shown that excess body fat tends to persist throughout childhood and into adulthood.
And it's no wonder. Not only will "supersized" servings confront her at every turn, but also physical activity will become an even smaller part of the overweight child's life as she gets older. This is true of children in general but is even more probable for the overweight child.
Many of us have nightmarish recollections of trying to climb the rope, or being forced to run laps until overcome with nausea, during "gym class." Surely any kind of physical activity would feel equally nightmarish to an overweight child. Even if they're inclined to move, overweight children are often physically incompetent. According to an article at the website of the International Play Equipment Manufacturers Association (IPEMA), during one study approximately 120 children ages three to ten were observed traversing an overhead ladder. The only children unable to cross the ladder successfully were obese. In another study it was determined that even children's walking patterns were affected by overweight, with obese children walking slower, asymmetrically, flat-footed, and with toes turned out. Over time these poor walking habits can result in structural deformities and damage to body tissue. And, of course, if even walking is a challenge, anything beyond that could be perceived as overwhelming.
Is it any surprise, then, that 40 percent of obese children and 70 percent of obese adolescents become obese adults? Indeed, by the time obese children are six years old, their chances of becoming obese adults are over 50 percent. It's a vicious-circle kind of problem. Lack of physical activity is a primary cause of excessive fat accumulation in children. Then, once overweight, children have a tendency to become even less physically active - a tendency that only increases in adolescence.
Sure, Richard Simmons started out as a "fat kid" and managed to overcome the odds, but he's devoted his entire life to it! Not many individuals are likely to hand over the better part of their lives to rid themselves of excessive fat accumulation acquired before they were even old enough to understand the problem.
But something must be done to ensure physical activity is a part of every child's life. Said Dr. Samuel Abate, at a childhood obesity conference sponsored by the North Dakota Department of Health: "The consequences of denying the body exercise are just as severe as depriving it of food, water, or oxygen; it just takes longer to see the consequences."
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Childhood Obesity
Top 25 Children Quotations
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
-- Franklin P. Adams
"A child reminds us that playtime is an essential part of our daily routine."
-- Anonymous
"Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own."
-- Aristotle
"Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them."
--James Baldwin
"The best inheritance a person can give to his children is a few minutes of his time each day "
--O. A. Battista
"Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home."
-- Bill Cosby
"There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, employ someone, or forbid your children to do it."
-- Monta Crane
"The children despise their parents until the age of 40, when they suddenly become just like them - thus preserving the system."
-- Quentin Crewe
"Your children will see what you're all about by what you live rather than what you say."
-- Wayne Dyer
"The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives."
-- Albert Einstein
"We find delight in the beauty and happiness of children that makes the heart too big for the body."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Teach your child to hold his tongue; he'll learn fast enough to speak."
-- Benjamin Franklin
"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."
-- Theodore M. Hesburgh
"I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation Where they will not be judged by the color of their skin But by the content of their character."
-- Martin Luther King, Jr.
"The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy."
-- Sam Levenson
"Children need love, especially when they don't deserve it."
-- Harold Hulbert
"If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters."
-- Jacqueline Lee Bouvier Kennedy Onassis
"Children are living jewels dropped unsustained from heaven."
-- Robert Pollok
"Good parents give their children Roots and Wings. Roots to know where home is, wings to fly away and exercise what's been taught them."
-- Jonas Salk
"While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about."
-- Angela Schwindt
"I think that maybe if women and children were in charge we would get somewhere."
--James Thurber
"Child rearing myth #1: Labor ends when the baby is born."
-- Unknown
"Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said."
--Unknown
"Children are the sum of what mothers contribute to their lives. "
--Unknown
"When you put faith, hope and love together, you can raise positive kids in a negative world."
-- Zig Ziglar
Overscheduled Kids
Time devoted the better part of an issue to it. Newsweek featured an article titled "Busy Around the Clock." Articles with titles like "Whatever Happened to Play?" "Pushing Children Too Hard," and "Are You Over-Scheduling Your kids?" show up in print media and on the Internet. Books with titles like Hyper-Parenting: Are Your Hurting Your Child by Trying Too Hard? are appearing on bookshelves.
Child development specialist David Elkind writes: "Parents are under more pressure than ever to overschedule their children and have them engage in organized sports and other activities that may be age-inappropriate." Most agree the practice is today's status symbol among families. In short, a superkid is a child pressured by parents and by society in general to do too much too soon. It's a phenomenon in our society in an escalating trend - with no end in sight. It's a frightening thought.
Writing in the magazine Child Care Information Exchange, Johann Christoph Arnold says: "The pressure to excel is undermining childhood as never before." He also asks: "Why are we so keen to mold [children] into successful adults, instead of treasuring their genuineness and carefree innocence?"
We have the best intentions, of course. We want our children to be happy; we equate happiness with success. And we fervently believe that success won't come unless we give our children a head start - a jump on the competition as it were.
But at what cost will all of this "success" come? If children don't learn to play as children, they aren't likely to discover its value as adults. And, oh, what a dreary, deadening existence daily life will become. Think about the following questions, really pondering each for a moment:
* If children begin living like adults in childhood, what will there be left to look forward to?
* What's to ensure they won't be burned out from all the pushing and pressure before they've even reached puberty?
* If we've caused them to miss the magic of childhood, how will they ever find the magic necessary to cope with the trials and tribulations of adulthood?
* What will become of the childlike nature adults call on when they need reminding of the delight found in simple things - when they need to bring out the playfulness that makes life worth living?
* What joy will our children find as adults if striving to "succeed" becomes life's sole purpose?
Childhood is not a dress rehearsal for adulthood! It is a separate, unique, and very special phase of life. And we're essentially wiping it out of existence in an effort to be sure our children get ahead. But when did we decide that life was one long race? When, exactly, did life become a competition?
Young children are not internally motivated to succeed; their only motivation comes from the value we place on success. And they don't want to let us down. As a result, stress is often a principal factor in the life of a superkid. Of course, into every life a little stress must fall. But when it becomes more than a person is capable of handling, it becomes unhealthy. Studies have shown that the brains of stressed preschoolers now look remarkably like the brains of stressed adults, which have excessive levels of adrenaline and cortisol, the chemicals responsible for the body's fight-or-flight reaction. Young children, who don't have the vocabulary or understanding to express what they're feeling, will often act out as a way of coping.
But there's more than stress involved in pushing children onto the fast track to success before they even understand the concept. For one thing, children aren't allowed to discover motivation on their own - and motivation is often more important to success than talent. Pushed children never have the opportunity to discover who they are. And they never learn to be at ease with themselves when alone, with time on their hands. Having experienced life "by the clock" - and almost constantly surrounded by others - these kids have never learned the joy of solitude, of having only oneself for company. Not only does this mean they're unable to practice self-reflection, but they're also unable to simply be.
Not long ago, in an attempt to help adults realize the folly of all work and no play, a saying began appearing on bumper stickers and in e-mails. It read: "No one ever said on his deathbed, 'I wish I'd spent more time at the office.'" Whether or not the saying had the desired effect remains to be seen, as adults appear as determined as ever to fill up their time with accomplishments. But someone had the right idea, and evidently quite a few people agreed with the sentiment. Isn't it now time to consider the same sentiment as it relates to children? Is there anyone who would say, at the conclusion of childhood, "I wish I'd had less time to play"? Who, after all, wants to look back on life and regret passing up that one and only opportunity to just be a kid?
Paediatric Osteopathy
All babies cry, but if yours cries a lot, isn't sleeping or is just plain irritable, many parents have found that a paediatric osteopath can help, particularly if the birth was difficult.
By gently touching a baby, an osteopath can use manipulation to ease the tension and help improve the way baby's body functions. During birth and pregnancy your baby's body is subject to considerable pressure and can suffer physical strain.
Andy Naddick, from the Osteopathic Centre for Children says: 'All your baby's systems are interconnected - the skeleton, the muscles, the internal organs and so on. If pressure or tension occurs in one area, the effect can continue throughout the body. For example, if there's an imbalance in the shoulder, your baby may hold her body awkwardly, which in turn may cause irritation in the chest or tummy, affect her digestion and even sleep patterns.' An osteopath uses gentle touch to find the parts of the body which may become stressed, strained or unaligned.
At your first visit to an osteopath he will take notes about your pregnancy and the birth to identify any problems. He will then examine your baby and very gently work on her body using subtle manipulation.
'Each child and every treatment is different' says Andy, 'but most babies usually only need three or four sessions to assess response to treatment. Your baby grows fast and has great potential for change and improvement, so getting her back to "normal" doesn't take long.'
Paediatric osteopathy has been shown to be effective with many serious conditions including epilepsy and cerebral palsy. It is also helpful for the following baby problems:
Wind and tummy pains.
Prolonged bouts of crying.
Fractiousness and irritability.
Frequent waking.
Feeding difficulties.
All osteopaths undertake four years training,
followed by a further two years in paediatric osteopathy.
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Managing Sibling Rivalry
It is human nature to feel competitive and envious toward others. A moderate spirit of competition is a positive and productive attribute in school and in business. Sibling rivalry is a normal part of growing up in families. The competition between siblings starts when the second child is born. Unfortunately, many parents ignore it and some even make the situation worse.
When occasional fighting becomes a constant series of arguments and fights, it must be dealt with to avoid years of discord and even potential danger. Here are some tips that will help you lessen your frustration over argumentative brothers and sisters and help them learn to get along better.
Do your best to offer each of your children equal amounts of praise and attention. This is true if they are competing for your attention or if they are participating in a school or sports activity.
Encourage your children to participate in activities that they truly enjoy. Don't expect them to always join activities that they must do together or where they will be competing against each other.
Children sometimes perceive that their parents favor one child over the others. While some parents do prefer one child to the others, it is usually not a conscious choice. If your child tells you that you favor his or her sibling, pay attention to your behavior; maybe there is some truth to it. However, if you know you are being fair or if there is a valid reason for treating one child differently, stand firm. Sometimes children use the "favorite child" complaint as a way to make you feel guilty and give them what they want.
Sometimes one child is more cooperative or better behaved than another. It's normal to compare siblings, but it's generally better not to talk about it. Comparing two kids doesn't help improve their behavior; instead, it intensifies the sense of envy and jealousy. A more constructive strategy is to limit your comments to the problem behavior. Always avoid telling one child that his or her sibling does something better.
Make it a rule that family members may become involved in incidents between siblings only if they actually saw what happened. This keeps people from being manipulated.
Realize that younger children can be the aggressors. Don't automatically rush to their defense.
If two kids are fighting over a toy, take it away. This discourages them from arguing over who can play with what.
When two kids are fighting, make them share a chair and look at each other in a mirror. With all the goofy faces they make in the mirror the disagreement is soon forgotten and they are laughing like best friends.
If the kids continue the fight after a few minutes in the chair, assign them a chore to do. The excess energy they are directing toward each other is soon put to better use setting the table or picking up the toys.
Use the Active Listening technique to allow siblings to express their feelings. When kids fight, parents often try to talk children out of their feelings by saying things like "Stop arguing with Tony, Sarah. You know you love your brother." Instead, you could acknowledge the child's feelings by saying, "Sounds like you're pretty upset with Tony." You might be surprised to see that this defuses the emotion and enables Tony to move on to something else.
When you give things to children, base your choices on their individual needs and interests. If you try to avoid arguments by giving equal gifts to each child, they will inevitably find something about them that is unfair.
When your children are in an argument, avoid taking sides. If you can, encourage them to work out their differences. It is almost impossible to try to determine who started a fight. Even if you know who started the argument, taking sides only makes things worse. If your children learn that you will not enter their minor disagreements, they will have to learn to settle things between themselves.
Take a parent education instructor course. As you educate yourself about parenting, you will change some of your attitudes toward your children and learn new ways to interact with them. You can have the kind of family you want if you are willing to work at it, make some changes in your own behavior, and be patient for things to improve.
You may think that rivalry will stop magically if only you learn to do the right thing. However, learning new behaviors takes a lot of time and persistence.
It is important to address the issues of sibling rivalry when children are young, because it can intensify and persist as children become adults. It is important not to give up when you feel frustrated. Things may even seem like they are worse before they start to improve. Because of your efforts and persistence, your children will learn how to get along better. That will prepare them to have productive relationships in the future.
Surviving as a Single Parent
Emotional Overload
Many single parents say they deal with a variety of emotional issues that you might describe as "extra baggage." Some examples include:
? Self-pity
? Depression
? Guilt
? Anger
? Envy
? Fear
? Severe money problems
? Loneliness and isolation
? Frustration
? Exhaustion
These issues present such a challenge because they undermine your daily functioning and emotional well-being. But they can be managed successfully so that you manage your family in a positive way.
10 Ways to Speed Your Recovery Process
Becoming divorced or widowed and then facing years of single parenting is a shock to anyone who experiences it. You will need to take steps to recover and heal. Here are some suggestions:
1. Some churches, synagogues, counseling centers, and therapists offer free and low-cost divorce recovery workshops and grief support groups. Look for them in the newspaper and Yellow Pages. If you don't see any listed, call a few places that may be able to refer you.
2. Look for local peer support groups and networks.
3. If you have access to the Internet, search for support services in your area.
4. Also on the Internet, look for chat rooms or bulletin boards where single parents post messages and share ideas.
5. Find library books for kids about divorce and single-parent families, and read them together. Take the time to talk about how they relate to your situation and encourage your kids to talk about their feelings.
6. Find a support group for children of divorce.
7. Tell your children's teachers and the school psychologist that you are a single-parent family. Let them know that you welcome feedback and suggestions on coping with your circumstances.
8. When you are ready, investigate groups like Parents Without Partners for single adults. You need to be with other adults who have similar interests.
9. Learn to help your kids talk about what is happening to them.
10. Learn conflict resolution and problem-solving skills.
Single-Parent Survival Strategies
In addition to recovering from the loss of a partner, you will need to take action to survive and thrive in the coming years. The following strategies provide a starting place.
1. Watch out for too many changes in your life as you recover from both the loss of your spouse and the resulting changes in your life circumstances. Change causes stress, and you have enough right now.
2. Realize and accept that you must get help with your single-parenting responsibilities. It is unrealistic to think that you can do it alone.
3. Manage your own emotions so you will be able to help your child manage his or her struggle. Learn as much as you can about how children respond to divorce, the death of a parent, or life in a single-parent home. Do not expect your child to respond the same way you do. Take your child's developmental stage into consideration when responding to his or her behavior.
4. Give your children permission to talk to you about their feelings.
5. Keep appropriate boundaries.
? Don't give in to the temptation to let your child take care of you.
? Let your children be children.
? Avoid burdening them with your feelings and the facts of the divorce or death of your spouse.
? Find another adult to be your sounding board.
6. Let people help you.
? If it is impossible to reciprocate, say so.
? People know that your life isn't like it used to be.
? Don't let your inability to reciprocate prevent you from accepting what people willingly offer.
7. Let go of your need for perfection. You will have much more stress if you don't lower your expectations.
8. Even though you are unable to be present as much as in the past, your children still need adult supervision. Look for ways for other adults to look in on your kids when they are home alone, even when they are teenagers.
9. Just because your child appears to be handling his or her emotions well, don't assume that he or she is okay. Some kids respond to parent loss by becoming overly responsible or by closing down their emotions. They may need to hear, "Tell me how you're feeling."
10. While it is important to listen and accept your children's feelings, it is equally important to set limits on behavior.
11. Cultivate your ability to be flexible and find creative ways to solve problems.
12. Learn to set priorities. Do the most important things first.
13. Trust your gut feelings. Pay attention to your instincts and act on them.
14. Simplify as many things as possible in your life. You cannot afford to keep it complicated.
15. Find an outlet for your anger. If a friend is not available, look for a minister, rabbi, or professional counselor. If money is an issue, look for a therapist who will see you for a low fee.
16. Teach yourself to let go of guilt. You don't have time for it, and it's not necessary.
17. Focus on issues you have control over. If something is beyond your control, don't waste your emotions on it.
18. Create a ritual to mark the change in your circumstances. This could be a funeral for your spouse or a ceremony to acknowledge your divorce.
19. Keep a private journal in which you express your feelings. Be sure to keep it in a private place where your children won't find it. A journal provides a place to express anger, sadness, loneliness, and fear-all of those feelings you feel every day as a single parent.
20. Remind yourself that recovering from divorce or the death of a spouse will take time. Your recovery will happen on its own schedule, and it will happen. You will get through this intact.
21. Learn to be assertive. You can't say yes to every request, whether it is from your family members or people in the community who want your time and resources. If you give it all away, you will have nothing left for yourself.
22. Find ways to take care of your body. Get regular checkups and make time to exercise. You need rest now more than ever. Watch your alcohol intake.
23. Find someone who will listen to you. Sometimes you have to ask, for example, "I need a sounding board right now. Can I have 15 minutes of your time?"
24. Rent a sad movie and let yourself cry (when the kids aren't around). Crying allows you to release the sadness that you are sure to feel.
25. Do at least one fun thing for yourself every week.
26. In your private journal, make a list of all the things you're afraid of.
27. In your private journal, make a list of all the things you worry about.
28. Get together with other single-parent families. Sharing times with people facing similar issues can make you feel normal.
Powerful Tips for Increasing Your Childs Self-Esteem
Here is a list of ways to convey the message "You are worthwhile" to your children. This list could fill a hundred newsletters, since the ways to raise responsible, happy children are limited only by our imaginations. Here are some places to begin.
1. Tell her on a regular basis that you love her. Actually say the words. If you think, "I don't have to tell her. She knows," you are wrong. It doesn't count if you think it but don't say it out loud.
2. Tell him that you are glad he is your child. Say the words and mean them. If you don't feel it, there is something wrong and you should find out what's going on. We all have moments when we have a hard time getting in touch with our positive feelings for our children. I'm not talking about those times. I'm talking about in general, most of the time, if you're not feeling good about being your child's parent, something is wrong. He will never feel good about himself if he senses that you are not connected to him.
3. Give her an example to follow. Take the time to teach her the steps. Kids need models. It's unfair to expect that she will know what to do in her daily life if you haven't shown her how to do it.
4. Spend time with him. If you are absent most of the time, he notices, and he probably thinks it's because he isn't important enough.
5. Look at her when you speak to her. This conveys, "This is important and you are important."
6. Look at him when he speaks to you. This conveys, "What you are saying is important. You are important."
7. Explain why. It takes more time, but it conveys that she is important enough to spend the time helping her understand. When you explain why, you are also saying, "I understand that you need to know why. I am going to help you meet your needs."
8. When he tells you about something that happened, ask him how he feels about it. Take the time to listen to his answer.
9. When you ask a question, encourage her to elaborate. Say, "Tell me more about that," or ask, "What was that like?"
10. When you ask a question, don't interrupt when she is answering.
11. When you ask a question, watch your responses. Don't disagree or criticize his answer. This teaches him that it isn't safe to be candid and will make him edit what he tells you.
12. Take her seriously.
13. Participate in the driving. The kids whose parents never help with the driving feel bad about themselves.
14. Say no when you need to say no. Kids need to know there are limits and that some things are outside of those limits.
15. When you say no, explain why.
16. When you say yes, explain why.
17. Set a positive example with your own behavior. You can only expect her to behave with dignity and self-respect if she sees you doing it.
18. When you lose your temper or make a mistake, apologize. Say that you are sorry, be specific about what you are sorry for, and give him a chance to respond.
19. When you know that you have disappointed him, acknowledge it. Ask him how he feels about it.
20. Spend time alone with her. Arrange activities for just the two of you.
21. Ask him what he would like to do.
22. Give her a private space where she can express herself.
23. Respect his privacy.
24. If he did a good job on something, say so.
25. If she didn't do such a good job on something, point out what she did well.
26. After a disappointment or failure, ask, "What did you learn from the experience?"
27. When you are giving feedback, describe specific behavior. For example, "I like how you asked the question so politely" or "You still need to pick up the towels off the floor."
28. When there is a problem, focus on the issue, not the child. For example, "You didn't do the last ten problems on this assignment" is more constructive than "You never finish anything."
29. Ask what he thinks.
30. Let her be the one to choose the restaurant, movie, or activity some of the time.
31. Ask him to go with you on routine errands just because you want to spend some time with him.
32. Touch her when you talk to her.
33. Give him a hug at least every few days.
34. Go in and say goodnight before she goes to sleep. (This is easy to forget once they become teenagers.)
35. Look up and smile when he walks into the room.
36. Introduce yourself when she is with a new friend.
37. Ask her to tell you about the book she is reading or the movie she just saw.
38. Review child development literature regularly to stay updated on what is normal at each age and stage. It is important to recheck your standards and expectations to be sure they are realistic for the child's age and individual abilities.
39. Look for ways to maintain your own self-esteem. If you are unhappy, discontent, or disappointed in how your life is turning out, it will be difficult for you to build the self-esteem of your children.
40. Every child needs to be the object of a parent's undivided attention on a regular basis.
41. Make certain that your body language matches your words. If they are out of synch, he will be aware of it.
42. Be yourself. Tell the truth.
43. Be appropriate. You don't have to say everything that is on your mind or tell him things he isn't ready to know.
44. If you show that you accept yourself and your actions, you give permission to her to do the same.